


be by the door, let your heart in (I'll kiss every pore)

by princessdiariesthree



Series: show me who made you walk the way here [1]
Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: (mortal like they're all regular people who don't die and come back to life), ART TEACHER JOE, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Mortal, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Fluff, Found Family, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, Like so light it's barely there, M/M, Nile Freeman & Nicky | Nicolò di Genova Friendship, Slow Burn, also booker's family is alive and well and he doesn't betray anyone in this, power couple andy/quynh, the andyquynh is present throughout the whole fic i just didn't tag it bc its not the main focus, vaguely a new girl au in the sense i took plot points from the show for this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 08:35:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 81,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29329398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessdiariesthree/pseuds/princessdiariesthree
Summary: Nicky feels a smile slip onto his face as he takes it all in. Nicky isteachingagain. He’s got a classroom that’s his in a good school; Nicky gets to make this space his own, he gets to put his passion for watching other people learn and grow somewhere, he gets to watch as student’s eyes widen when they finally understand something they’ve been stuck on. As those thoughts sink in, as Nicky lets himself realize that he’s back to doing what he loves, someone knocks on his door.Nicky pushes himself off the wall and looks over to see who it is, only to lose all of his higher brain functions when he sees a very beautiful man standing in his doorway, wearing dark wash jeans and a blue t-shirt. He is possibly the most beautiful man Nicky has ever seen in his entire life, with his curly hair and thick beard and his arms-“Hey, you’re Nicky, right? I ran into Quynh and she said you came in today, so I thought I would introduce myself. I’m Joe.” Joe offers Nicky his hand and Nicky takes it after he blinks a few times too many. Joe’s smile is very pretty and even more distracting. He needs to get it together, but hecan’t, because Joe’s hand is so warm that Nicky misses it when Joe takes his hand back.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Series: show me who made you walk the way here [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2154282
Comments: 67
Kudos: 155





	1. august

**Author's Note:**

> AH i cant believe i finished this and ppl can read it now, also very sorry for all the times i promised this wold be done and then it wasn't but u know how life goes. also apologies for how long this got i just kept getting ideas and more ideas and u guys have no idea how much i cut from this and it's still so much longer than i ever expected lmao  
> title from every pore by tamino
> 
> OKAY so some background: nicky is a new hire stats teacher at a public k-12 elementary school somewhere in the northeast usa. joe is an art teacher, andy teaches gym, quynh teaches languages, nile teaches junior english, booker works in the library, and copley is really in this like twice but he's the principal. found family vibes ofc and everyone thinking nicky and joe are taking way too long to get together <3
> 
> if there are any mistakes pls lmk bc there is something evil inside of me that refuses to let me reread any of my own writing so if anyone catches anything i will fix it asap. 
> 
> and re: the series, the part 2 is a background for nicky that i was originally going to put in this as an interlude chapter but i decided not to in the end BUT i also didn't want to just not post it. so it's not essential to the knowledge of this fic u can 100% get through this fic w/o reading it, it's just a background. more (non spoiler) info on what happens in part2 will be in the end notes of the chapter it's relevant in. but also if you do look at the next fic in the series BEFORE you start reading this you will have something spoiled for you, however it won't be spoiler-y by like halfway though this fic
> 
> so i hope u all like this and pls leave kudos or comments when you're reading <333 i love seeing all your thoughts/comments of any kind, and if u leave a comment i promise i will think about it for days afterwards
> 
> find my at my tog sideblog is @ariesnicolo <333

**_August_ **

Nicky closes his eyes and lets his head hit the top of his steering wheel, forcing himself to take a few deep breaths because everything is  _ fine _ . Everything is genuinely fine, and he is excited to do this, and it isn’t like him to get so nervous, so Nicky forces open his eyes and climbs out of his car. From the side parking lot, Nicky takes in his new place of employment. There are three horizontal buildings, each lined in front of the other and connected by a hallway that runs down the middle of all three buildings, positioned in the middle of a well-maintained quad. Colebrook Public Schools. 

Nicky makes his way toward the front doors of the first building in the row, where he’s greeted by the principal, Mr. Copley. Nicky spoke to Mr. Copley on the phone yesterday, who told Nicky to meet him at the school at nine in the morning for his orientation. Mr. Copley approaches him with a smile and his hand extended, and Nicky shakes his hand and returns his smile. “Mr. Copley, nice to see you again.” 

“Likewise, Nicky.” Mr. Copley gestures for the two of them to enter the building as he opens the front doors. “I’m very excited that you are joining our teaching staff. I think you’re going to be a great fit here.” 

“Thank you. I’m really excited to be working here, too.” Nicky says, as he takes in the foyer. The entryway splits into two hallways, one going to the left and one going to the right, with what looks like a library directly ahead of him. Nicky tries to look inside what he assumes is the library to see how big it is, but he can’t see much through the open doors except for a front desk and a few study tables. 

“That there in front of us” Nicky focuses his attention back on Mr. Copley, who is now pointing to the room ahead, “is the library for grades nine through twelve. Booker heads our libraries and media studies, but he spends a majority of his time working in this particular library.” 

“Booker?” Nicky asks, instead of making a comment on how interesting he thought the organization of this school was. He had said plenty about how interesting he found the school during his interview, and if he said any more, Nicky was afraid Mr. Copley would think he was being insincere. 

Each of the three buildings was built to house a certain section of the student body, so the first building housed a ‘traditional’ high school section of students, grades nine through twelve; the middle building housing the middle school students, grades seven and eight; and the third building was for the elementary school kids, kindergarten to sixth grade. Nicky was intrigued, and honestly a little skeptical, but as he kept researching the school from the application page, he learned that the school received a fifteen-year grant to try out this system. They received the grant a ten years ago, so there was still plenty of time and money left on the grant, but this structure received a lot of positive feedback from the parents and students, and it looked like the students were still performing well on their assignments despite the changes. Nicky thought it helped that the town of Colebrook had a population of 3000, so getting everyone on board with this new system was probably not the hardest thing to accomplish. 

“Booker, yeah. He’s French, so some of the younger kids had a hard time with his last name, so he let them pick a nickname for him.” Mr. Copley laughs a little to himself, probably picturing the events that led up to the use of the nickname. “It helped that his last name means ‘book’ in French, and he works at the library, so it was an easy decision to make for the kids.” 

Nicky smiles and nods along, but he feels like he can’t really be more enthusiastic about it without coming off as weird. He wasn’t here for any of that, and he doesn’t even know this Booker. “He sounds like he’s good with the students.” is what Nicky decides on saying. 

“Oh, yeah, he loves these kids. Thinks of them as his own, even though he’s got a full house already. Three boys.” Mr. Copley doesn’t direct Nicky to the library like he thinks he will, but instead they start to walk down the left hallway. “But if you have problems with your staff login or have any questions about the grading and attendance system we use, he’s who you should talk to first.” 

Nicky nods and says something to show that he’s listening, but most of his attention is on taking in the hallway. Through the open doors he’s been able to look through, he thinks this hallway is mainly for art classrooms. Nicky sees a pottery wheel, a handful of painting easels, a wall full of photographs, and another classroom that just looks like a mess of sketchbooks and pencils. 

Mr. Copley confirms his suspicions. “This hallway houses our arts department, which is run by Joe. He teaches in all three of our buildings, but he spends a majority of his time with our elementary school students. I would introduce the two of you, but it looks like he’s not in his room right now.” Nicky has no idea which room is Joe’s and Mr. Copley doesn’t stop to tell him. “We offer a handful of art classes for the high school students since they become elective classes at this point, but our most popular art classes are Ceramics and Sketching and Design.” 

Nicky is directed to a staircase after they reach the end of the hallway, and while they are walking to the second floor, Nicky asks about the right side of the first floor. “There was another side to the first floor. What is over there?” 

Mr. Copley opens the door to the second floor for Nicky to step through. “That’s where the administrative offices, guidance counselors, and nurses’ offices are located. I like to end the orientation down there, since you have to fill out paperwork later today anyways.” 

Nicky is going to respond, but before he can, he runs right into someone as he is stepping out of the doorway. “ _ Oddio _ ” Nicky whispers to himself as he grabs onto the arm of the person he just ran into to steady them. “I’m so sorry, I did not see you coming.” 

Nicky looks up at the person he ran into and sees a young woman, no older than thirty, with two thick braids done on either side of her head. “No, don’t worry, I wasn’t paying attention either.” The woman seems to take him in, and when she doesn’t recognize him, introduces herself. “You’re the new stats teacher, yeah? I’m Nile, I teach junior English.” 

Nicky takes her hand and shakes it. “Nicky, nice to meet you.”

Nile smiles at him like Nicky is already her friend, and not a new co-worker she literally ran into, but Nicky likes it. “Listen, I gotta make about five hundred copies before Monday, but I’ll catch up with you later, okay? We’re both on the third floor, so I’ll see you around!” Nicky nods before she disappears down the stairwell to make her copies. 

“So, that’s Nile. She’s our youngest teacher, but she’s one of our best. She’s a great leader and really knows how to get her students engaged.” Copley brings them down the hallway and explains that the left side of the second floor is home to the science classrooms, and the right side is for history and language classes. “Quynh is in charge of the language department, but she also has degrees in world history, so she teaches history classes when they fit in her schedule.” 

Mr. Copley pokes his head in a classroom and gestures for Nicky to follow him inside when someone excitedly greets him. “Quynh! I’d like you to meet Nicky, our new statistics teacher.” 

Nicky’s first impressions of Quynh are: she’s very beautiful, she has a  _ very _ strong handshake, and her sense of style could rival that of Nicky’s younger sister. Nicky spots a bright red jacket hanging next to Quynh’s desk, and Nicky makes a mental note to ask after it for his sister, Alessa. “Nice to meet you, Nicky! I was so happy when Copley told me you were going to start working here, I think you’ll be great here.” 

Nicky heard that sentiment from the people who interviewed him, he heard it from Mr. Copley when he called and told Nicky he had the job if he wanted it, and he heard it from his Mamma when he called her immediately after Mr. Copley called him. But when Quynh tells Nicky that he is going to fit in at the school, with her wide smile and kind eyes, Nicky believes her in a way he hadn’t believe anybody but his Mamma. Nicky is also curious how she saw his application, since she wasn’t in his interview. “Oh, thank you. I’m really excited to be here, so.” 

Quynh takes his awkward, trailing sentence in stride. “Have you met anyone else yet?” 

“I only met Nile, but I’ve been hearing about everyone as we walk through the building.” 

Quynh seems to like this answer. “Perfect! Okay, so all the teachers usually get together in the courtyard a few days before school starts to talk and catch up, and you can come if you want and I’ll introduce you to everyone. You can meet everyone casually tonight and not during the boring staff meeting tomorrow.” Mr. Copley scoffs at the comment about the staff meeting, but Quynh doesn’t seem worried about it.

“I wouldn’t want to impose-” Nicky starts to say, because if he shows up at an event meant for people who have been working together for quite some time, it might be a little awkward as the new guy. He didn’t want to be stuck to Quynh’s arm all night, making her feel like she has to stay with him because he really doesn’t know anyone else. Technically, he doesn’t even really know  _ her.  _ Nicky has no problem being introduced to everyone at the boring staff meeting tomorrow, and then getting to know people throughout the school year. 

“You wouldn’t be imposing at all. You work here too, yeah? Come out tonight and I promise it’ll be a lot of fun.” Quynh insists, and Nicky finds himself having a hard time saying no to her. He hopes that isn’t going to be a problem for him later. 

“Okay, I’ll come. What time does it start?” 

Quynh smiles, and Nicky is surprised by how genuinely happy she looks that he accepted her invitation. “It starts at seven. I’ll be here early helping to set everything up, so just come find me when you get here, alright?”

Nicky shoots her a little smile as he and Mr. Copley leave her classroom. “I will. Thank you.”

“You don’t have to go to the party if you really don’t want to. Quynh just wants everyone to feel welcome here.” Mr. Copley tells him as they walk up to the third floor, but Nicky tells him he’s fine to go tonight. He doesn’t want everyone’s first impression of him to be the guy who doesn’t show up, and he  _ also _ doesn’t want Mr. Copley to talk to Quynh about him not going. That would just be embarrassing. “I keep offering her the position of vice principal, but she always turns me down because she likes teaching too much.” 

Nicky can see Quynh as vice principal, and he tells Mr. Copley as much, which pulls a little laugh out of him. “Tell her that tonight, will you? My begging and groveling doesn’t seem to work on her anymore.” 

As they walk down the right side of the hallway on the third floor, Mr. Copley explains that this is the side for English classrooms, and he points out to Nicky which room is Nile’s. The door to her classroom is closed, which allows Nicky to see how Nile decorated the door. Nicky only gets a quick look at the door, but he thinks it’s decorated with book covers reimagined by her students over the years. Some of them are pretty good. 

Mr. Copley stops at the end of the left side of the hallway, at the door next to the stairs, and tells Nicky that this is his new classroom. Mr. Copley hands Nicky the key to his door, and Nicky slowly unlocks and opens the door. Nicky, feeling a little overwhelmed and trying to push it down for later, takes a deep breath and immediately regrets it. He sneezes three times in a row, and when he thinks that’s done, he sneezes one more time. 

“Ah, sorry about the dust. This room has been locked up since the end of June.” Mr. Copley apologizes. 

Nicky sniffles, looking forward to cleaning this room as soon as Mr. Copley leaves. “It’s alright. I have cleaning stuff in my car.” 

“Smart.” Mr. Copley says, nodding his head. “So, I’ll leave you to get settled and organize how you like but remember to stop by the administrative offices before you leave to sign some papers.” 

“I will. Thank you, Mr. Copley, for the tour.” Nicky says, offering his hand. 

“My pleasure, Nicky, but please just call me Copley. We are not so formal here.” Copley leaves, and then Nicky is alone, in his new classroom, at his new job. Nicky takes in the room and thinks he won’t have to change much. The wall opposite the door is lined with windows that let in a lot of light, the student desks are lined in slightly uneven rows in front of the teacher’s desk, — _ Nicky’s  _ desk—, and there are two large whiteboards behind Nicky’s desk. Nicky’s only real problem is the dust, which is still causing him to periodically sneeze, but that’s an easy fix.

Nicky hooks his room key on his keychain and walks back to his car to get his cleaning supplies and his single box of decorations and teaching supplies. He has more supplies at his apartment, like lesson plans and practice books for his students, but he plans to bring those to school tomorrow. When he’s back in his classroom, Nicky opens one of his windows, puts on some background music, and gets to cleaning. 

It takes him no more than forty-five minutes to clean his classroom, slightly rearrange the desks, and hang up some posters he’s collected over the years, and when he’s finished, Nicky stands in his doorway to look at his room from a fresh perspective. Nicky puts his hands on his lower back, sore and a little sweaty from the cleaning, and feels a smile slip onto his face as he takes it all in.

Nicky is teaching again. He’s got a classroom that’s his in a good school and he’s  _ teaching  _ again. Nicky gets to make this space his own, he gets to put his passion for watching other people learn and grow somewhere, he gets to watch as student’s eyes widen a little when they finally understand something they’ve been stuck on. As those thoughts hit him and sink in, as Nicky lets himself realize that he’s  _ back _ to doing what he loves and what he has wanted to do his whole life, his phone rings. Nicky sighs and checks who it is before answering, but quickly answers when he sees it’s his Mamma. 

“ _ Mamma _ . _ Come stai?”  _ Nicky asks, easily slipping into Italian. 

“ _ I’m well, Nico. Enough about that, though, how is your new school? Tell me everything.”  _

Nicky smiles to himself, wondering how an empty reassurance about her well-being can be too much. “ _ It’s really nice, Mamma. I’ve only met a few people so far, and they’ve all been very kind and helpful. I’m supposed to meet more people tonight.”  _

_ “That’s good to hear, Nicolò _ . _ Are the grounds as pretty as the pictures?”  _

Nicky laughs, both at his Mamma’s question and how good it feels to speak to someone in Italian, for someone to refer to him by his real name. “ _ Even prettier, Mamma. You would approve of the flowers they planted out in the front.”  _

_ “Very good. Your classroom? Send me pictures when you are settled, I want to see everything.”  _

Nicky can picture her, sitting by an open window at their little kitchen table, with a small cup of  _ caffè _ , waiting not-so patiently for Nicky to send her pictures of his room. Nicky looks around his classroom, sees the handful of random posters he’s picked up over the years and the leftover backgrounds on the bulletin boards, and deems it sufficient to send to his Mamma. “ _ Sì mamma, un momento.” _

Nicky takes a few pictures on his phone and sends them to his Mamma and waits for her confirmation that she received them. Nicky can tell when she opens the images and looks at them because she immediately scoffs at Nicky through the phone. It is apparently not sufficient. “ _ Nicolò. This is barren! What are your students going to think when they walk into your classroom and find empty walls?”  _

_ “I was hoping they would be more interested in math than the state of my walls, Mamma.”  _ Nicky looks around his room again, trying to imagine himself as a student who is seeing his room for the first time, but he doesn’t see anything wrong with it. If he was a student, he would be here to learn, not to critique a teacher’s choices when decorating. 

“ _ No one likes math, Nico.” _ Nicky is caught between laughing and feeling offended at his Mamma’s remark. “ _ Your students will want something to look at when they get bored.”  _

Nicky only rolls his eyes at her only because he knows she can’t see him through the phone, four-thousand miles away. “ _ Okay, I will consider adding more decorations. Happy?”  _

“ _ Not until you show me that you actually added some color to your classroom.”  _ Nicky lets himself be teased by his Mamma, lets her poke at him for his boring taste in clothing transferring to how he decorates. He’s only mildly offended when she says she sometimes wonders how the apple fell so far from the tree, how the genes for good taste must have skipped right over Nicky and went to Alessa. Nicky answers all of her little questions about the school and the people he’s met and what his daily schedule is like, and her many questions about when he’s coming home to Italy. 

“ _ Mamma, you know I always come home during Christmas for two weeks. That isn’t changing. _ ” Nicky says, now pacing a little behind his desk. They have this conversation every couple of months, and it never ends well. Mamma wants him to come back to Genoa for good, but Nicky has a life and career here. Nicky comes home for two weeks during Christmas and a month during the summer, Mamma always asks for more, and Nicky gently tells her no. 

Nicky understands, or he understands as well as he can without having any children of his own. Nicky knows it comes from a place of love for him, knows she is only so persistent because she misses him, that seeing your son for six weeks of the year when he lives 4000 miles away is probably difficult. At least Alessa only moved to Rome, so Mamma isn’t completely without her children.

And it isn’t like Nicky doesn’t miss Genoa and his family, because he  _ does _ , it’s just not as simple as that anymore. Nicky has a life here, but he also has a life in Italy, he has his family in Italy. Nicky misses his family and the streets he grew up on more than he can say, but Nicky has responsibilities here now, and it isn’t like he can just plan a weekend visit to Genoa when he has the a free weekend. 

“ _ I know, I just- I miss you. We don’t see you enough.”  _ Mamma sighs, and Nicky can just  _ picture  _ it, can picture her face as she sighs, her mouth screwed to the side and her eyes looking down. 

“ _ I know, Mamma. I- I want to visit more, it’s just hard to with my job.”  _ Nicky feels like this is the hundredth time he’s had this conversation with her, feels his shoulders tense prematurely, already knowing the path this conversation is taking.

“ _ So you’ve said.”  _ Mamma says, tense, before she sighs again, maybe a little regretfully. Nicky scrunches up his nose, a little offended with her tone. He’s not lying, it is hard for him to get out to Genoa when it’s so far away, and honestly, he figured his Mamma would trust him on that at this point. “ _ I’m sorry. I just miss you.” _

“ _ Yes, I know.”  _ Nicky says, hoping that that is the end of it for now. “ _ Listen, I have to go and finish getting ready, but I will call you later. I promise _ .”

“ _ Okay, Nico. I love you _ .” 

Nicky’s grip on his phone tightens along with his throat. “ _ Love you too, Mamma _ .”

Once Nicky hangs up, he has about ten seconds to decompress before someone is knocking on his door and looking into his classroom. Nicky pushes himself off the wall and looks over to see who it is, only to lose all of his higher functions when he sees a very beautiful man standing in his doorway, wearing dark wash jeans and a blue t-shirt. He is possibly the most beautiful man Nicky has ever seen in his entire life, with his curly hair and thick beard and his  _ arms _ -

“Hey, you’re Nicky, right? I ran into Quynh and she said you came in today, so I thought I would introduce myself. I’m Joe.” Joe offers Nicky his hand and Nicky takes it after he blinks a few times too many. Joe’s smile is very pretty and even more distracting. He needs to get it together, but he  _ can’t _ , because Joe’s hand is so  _ warm  _ that Nicky misses it when Joe takes his hand back. 

“Nice to meet you, Joe.” Nicky says, and then just doesn’t say anything else. Nicky is blowing it with Joe, a very beautiful man, but he thinks he can’t really be blamed because Joe is a  _ very beautiful man _ . 

Joe saves him from having to come up with anything else to say. “I teach art in all three of the buildings, but I’m mostly over at the elementary school since they don’t have a block schedule like the other students.” 

Nicky’s brain just basically stops functioning at the mental image of Joe teaching art to little kids, of Joe helping them with their little projects and gently encouraging them when they get frustrated and praising all their art when they finished. Nicky now knows that he can never go to the elementary school art room if he wants to make it through the school year alive. 

Nicky realizes he’s been silent for too long and blurts out the first thing he can think of to make Joe’s eyebrows not so furrowed. “Wow, you must be pretty busy. I’m only in this one building, so I can’t imagine having to run between three buildings every day.” 

Nicky blames himself for the boring direction this conversation is taking, but Joe doesn’t seem to mind, or if he does, he’s hiding it from Nicky very well. “No, it’s not so bad. We’ve been teaching this way for ten years and I can’t imagine doing it any differently.” 

“Yeah? What makes it so special?” Nicky asks, desperate to hear more about what Joe thinks. 

Joe’s smile as he thinks about Nicky’s question can only be described as dreamy, but Nicky is willing to admit he may be too close to the situation. “I love what each different age group brings to the art they create. The little kids, they’re enjoying themselves and creating things that they think are fun. But once they reach middle school, the kids are starting to figure out who they are and what they want to create and represent, and I think that’s a privilege to get to be a part of.” Joe gets a proud look in his eyes, and Nicky is floored by how much thought and genuine care he’s giving to the question. “By high school, they’re choosing to take the advanced art classes, so they already know what they want to create, but I get to help them focus it and sharpen their skills.” 

A small smile forms on Nicky’s face, and he’s helpless to stop it. Nicky was not expecting Joe to reveal so much, but just from their little conversation, Nicky can already tell Joe loves his students, that he genuinely cares for every student that walks through his door. Nicky knows how easy it is to get discouraged and frustrated with teaching after a while, but Joe doesn’t seem to feel any of that. 

“You get to watch all these kids grow.” Nicky says slowly, suddenly realizing what teaching art to  _ all _ students means. “You have been they’re teacher since they were six years old, so you… you really do see how they grow and develop as artists over the next twelve years of their life.”

Joe gets that proud look in his eyes again, and Nicky is still absorbing the fact that Joe watches his students grow from little kids to teenagers. “Exactly! I wouldn’t be able to do that at any other school, so that’s why I really love how we’re set up here.” 

“I never thought about it like that, but I think it’s really nice for you and the kids to have that kind of stability.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I agree.” Joe says, and Nicky thinks their conversation is over and is about to escape that awkwardness with the excuse of signing papers, when Joe asks him a question. “Did you already get a tour of the building? I can show you around if you want.” Joe smiles again, and Nicky really needs him to stop because his heart can’t take it anymore. 

“Yeah, Copley already showed me around.” Nicky answers before he can think about it. Immediately, Nicky wants to take the words back and never think of this disastrous conversation again, but what’s done is done. Nicky wishes he had said no, wishes he had the opportunity to walk around with Joe and listen to him talk about the school he was clearly so passionate about. “Sorry.” 

“No, it’s alright. I would have been surprised if he hadn’t given you a tour.” Joe waves him off, and then looks beyond Nicky and into his classroom for potentially the first time. Nicky watches as Joe’s eyes scrunch up a little bit and then go a little wide. Nicky wonders if Joe is always so expressive, if it’s easy for everyone else to read every little expression he makes. “Did you want help setting up your room? The guy who was in here before you was a little messy, I can help you take down these old posters he left behind.” 

Nicky feels his face fall, and he knows Joe doesn’t notice because Joe doesn’t know him well enough to read him. Nicky looks around his classroom like he hadn’t even noticed how empty the walls were and how it was lacking in color, debating about what to tell Joe. He could be honest, say that this is just how he keeps his classroom and he doesn’t really know how to decorate it. He could also lie and tell Joe that he didn’t bring any of his decorations in today and that he could use the help tomorrow. That lie would also require Nicky actually  _ owning  _ decorations for his classroom and knowing how to decorate, and Nicky does not own anything or possess any skills that would be helpful for decorating.

Nicky decides to give Joe an answer that will give Nicky at least a day to decide what he wants to do about this. “That would be great, but I have to sign some papers downstairs right now. Maybe later?” Nicky does wonder how Joe would decorate his room if he were given the chance, what colors he would pick and what theme he would plan around. 

“Oh, of course.” Joe says, and Nicky sees… disappointment on Joe’s face? Nicky quickly gets rid of that thought, he doesn’t know why Joe would be disappointed that he couldn’t help Nicky set-up his room. Nicky only just met Joe, so it’s not a surprise that he can’t read  _ every _ expression that crosses Joe’s face. “Do you want me to walk you downstairs? I can show you where the offices are.” 

Nicky jumps at the opportunity to spend more time with Joe, even though he knows where the administrative offices are and could probably find the correct office quickly. “Yes, thank you.” Nicky shoots Joe a little smile when he lets Nicky out of his classroom first and then waits for Nicky to lock his classroom door. Joe leads Nicky to the stairway door that’s right next to his classroom and holds the door open for Nicky. “Thank you.” 

Joe walks ahead of him while they’re walking downstairs, but he turns his head a little to ask Nicky a question. “You teach math, right?” When Nicky says yes, Joe asks the second part of his question. “What kind of math do you teach?” 

Nicky thinks back on their conversation, realizing he never told Joe what he teaches, and Joe pieced together that he taught math from where he was located on the third floor. “Oh, I teach statistics. The class is usually offered to juniors and seniors, so that’s who I have the most experience teaching.” 

“That sounds nice.” Joe says as they reach the bottom of the stairs. “I really liked my stats teacher in high school, and it really helped when I took stats again in college.” 

Nicky wants to ask why Joe, who presumably majored in something related to art, would have taken any statistics classes, but he doesn’t want to come off as rude so he keeps the question to himself. “Yeah, it’s always better learning something the second time, especially math.” 

Joe opens and holds the door for him again when they leave the stairwell, and Nicky is struck by how kind and thoughtful Joe has been during their entire conversation, how he offered to help Nicky set up his room and then show him to the right offices. Nicky smiles and whispers “thank you” to Joe as he holds the door for him again, and Nicky gets a whiff of whatever cologne Joe is wearing as he passes him, and even though Nicky is unable to place the scent, he knows it smells good. 

As the two of them walk down the hallway together, Nicky remembers that they’re in the hallway for art classes. Nicky never found out which room was Joe’s during his tour with Copley, and he admits that he’s very curious to find out which room is his and what it looks like. “Which room is yours?” 

“Oh, this one is mine.” Joe points to a slightly open door on the left side of the hallway, stops so he can open the door more and show Nicky inside. Nicky’s first impression of the room is that it’s a disaster. Joe’s classroom was the one Nicky saw earlier with the sketchbooks and pencils scattered around, but now that Nicky can actually take in the room, he realizes it’s much more than that. 

Joe’s classroom is a lot bigger than Nicky’s, which Nicky quickly comes to understand is a necessity. Where Nicky’s classroom has about thirty individual desks, Joe’s room has six big, wooden tables scattered around the room surrounded by stools. Under all the sketch books, the tables are covered in a mess of color that Nicky can only assume is from paint and colored pencils. The walls are completely plastered in the student’s work, and Nicky spots paintings, detailed sketches, photos, and a few tasteful collages. Joe’s back counters are covered in complicated art supplies that Nicky can’t even begin to understand, and the windows in his room are covered in very thin, colorful paper, designed to look like stained-glass windows. 

Nicky wants to ask if it’s actually  _ Joe _ who needs help setting up his room, but he keeps that question to himself.

“It isn’t normally this messy.” Joe says, a little wince accompanying his words. “I’m just organizing the sketch books to return them to any students who aren’t taking any classes with me again.” 

Nicky nods, figuring that every other part of Joe’s classroom is just as chaotic during the school year. The lack of organization for the rest of Joe’s stuff would bother Nicky, but it doesn’t seem to bother Joe, who is probably used to his room looking messy at the end of the day. Nicky can’t even imagine the horror scene an elementary school art room would be at the end of the day. “Were these all done by your students?” Nicky asks, looking around and pointing to the art on the walls. 

“Yeah.” Joe sighs, and Nicky looks over at Joe to see a proud shine in his eyes. “If they’re comfortable with it, I keep all their work on the walls during the school year. I hate taking it all down at the start of the new school year, but I would never have space for anything new if I didn’t return them to the students.” 

“They’re all really good. You have very talented students, Joe.” Nicky says, looking at a beautifully detailed picture of a field of wildflowers at sunset. Nicky’s eyes then catch a colored drawing of a man wearing a short, white wig and black frame glasses. Nicky does a double take on the painting, looking at it again just to be sure. “Is that… is that Danny DeVito?” 

Joe laughs loudly at the surprise in Nicky’s voice, but quickly confirms that it is Danny DeVito. “I assign a portrait piece in three different mediums for all my seniors to help with their portfolios, and it can be a portrait of anybody, so Marissa- that was her name, she chose to do Danny DeVito.” 

“That’s not his real hair, is it?” Nicky had only seen one movie with him in it at Alessa’s insistence, something about a little girl with special powers, and even though Alessa made him watch the movie repeatedly when they were little, Nicky doesn’t know much about him. “It looks very realistic in the drawing.” 

“No, he’s practically bald. I think.” Joe says, furrowing his eyebrows as if he has to think about it to be sure. “This was just from a show he was in that she liked.” Joe smiles, but it’s small and private, like he’s thinking of the student who did this portrait. “She graduated last year and now she’s at RISD.” Nicky doesn’t know if that’s good or bad for Marissa, and it must show on his face. “Oh, uh, it’s a college in Rhode Island that’s one of the best for fine arts.” 

“That’s nice. You must have been really proud.” Nicky says, because it doesn’t take a genius to see that Joe carries his pride for his students and their work in his heart. From the way he talks about his students to how he treats their art with such respect, Nicky has no doubt that Joe is a wonderful teacher and loved by every student he comes across. 

“Yeah, I am.” Joe says, but the way he says it and how he looks around at all his previous student’s art, Nicky feels like he’s intruding on something personal. Nicky lets Joe have his moment to think and reminisce and looks at more of the art on the walls. All of the pieces are exceptional and detailed and well thought out, but it’s the  _ variety _ in the art that gets Nicky.

It’s clear that Joe assigns themes for each project, like portraits or nature or still life, but Nicky gets the impression that each student is allowed to take that theme and do what they want with it. Nicky spots a beautiful painting from an outsider point of view of a group of people looking up at a cloud with the outline of another person in it, like Mufasa in  _ The Lion King _ . Nicky also sees an equally skilled painting of  _ The Scream _ , but instead of having a person’s face, it has the face of a mouse and the background looks like it’s been placed in a cage. Nicky gets the sense that Joe loves, and even encourages, all his student’s weird artistic choices. 

Joe claps his hands together, breaking Nicky’s train of thought and directing his attention to Joe’s hands. Nicky’s brain short circuits when he sees that Joe is wearing thick, silver rings that are engraved with something Nicky can’t make out. Nicky thinks it’s really unfair that Joe is clearly a good person and has an obvious love for all his students, and he also has shoulders that drive Nicky  _ wild _ and he wears rings that Nicky is endlessly curious about. 

“You want to go to the admin offices now? They’re just down the hallway.” Joe asks, and Nicky pulls himself together to follow Joe down the hallway and into someone’s office. Three middle-aged women look up as they enter the room, and they all start to fawn over Joe as soon as they notice it’s him who walked through the door. 

Joe is bombarded with hugs and cheek kisses, questions about his summer and if he’s eaten yet today, if he’s already seen his class schedule for the year, and  _ “Oh _ , Joe, you have to talk to Susan about her vacation to Greece. She’s been dying to show you all her pictures.” Joe takes all the questions and close contact in stride, and he shoots Nicky an embarrassed smile over one of the woman’s shoulders when he catches Nicky’s eyes. Nicky shakes his head to tell him not to worry about it, and he thinks he’s mostly successful in hiding his smile. 

Joe is finally able to separate himself from the women and direct their attention to Nicky. Nicky thinks Joe might be blushing, but he can’t be completely sure. “This is Nicky, he’s the new math teacher. He needs to fill out his start up paperwork.” 

One woman with strawberry blonde hair and a full face of freckles greets Nicky and then goes to the computer behind the front desk. “Okay, Nicky, c’mon over here. I’ll get you all set up and then we can start on that paperwork.” 

Nicky turns his attention back to Joe to thank him again for walking him down here, but Joe is already in another conversation with the other two women who are in the office. Nicky doesn’t want to interrupt their conversation, but he hopes that Joe is still around after he’s done and he can thank him later. Nicky may also be wondering if Joe is coming to the party in the courtyard Quynh invited him to, but he mostly wants to thank Joe for helping him. 

Nicky approaches the front desk and is welcomed with a warm smile. “My name is Helen, it’s nice to meet you, Nicky.” 

“Nice to meet you, too. Thank you for helping me.” Nicky had expected to be handed a pile of forms and a pen and been left alone, but it doesn’t seem like that’s what is happening here. 

“Oh, honey, of course. It’s what we do here.” Helen says, and Nicky can’t help but find the truth in that. The three women who run this office clearly love Joe, if their greeting and extended conversation are anything to go by, and Helen didn’t hesitate to help Nicky right away. 

“Nicky, is that your full first name? I’m having a little trouble finding you here.” Helen asks him, turning her computer around to show Nicky that her search in the staff directory came up empty.

“Oh, no. Nicky is just a nickname.” Nicky explains, remembering how the kindergarteners he worked with during an internship called him Nicky and it just stuck with him. “My full name is Nicolò di Genova.”

Helen nods, turning the computer around searching for him in the system again. “Can you spell that for me?” Nicky spells his name for her and waits for her to give him his next steps. “Do you want your staff ID to say Nicky or Nicolò?” 

“Nicky is fine.” He’s already introduced himself as Nicky to Copley and everyone else he’s met, and he generally goes by Nicky when he’s in America, so it might get confusing if he has an ID that says Nicolò. He doesn’t mind the nickname, no matter how much Alessa teases him for it. 

“Alright, we’ll get your picture taken and then get you started on that paperwork.” Helen shows Nicky to a chair in front of a camera, and Nicky sits down and gets ready to take the picture. Just as Nicky is about to look at the camera and smile, Joe lets out a loud, deep laugh that makes Nicky look over at him. He’s still talking to the two other women, but whatever they said to Joe made him laugh hard enough to throw his head back and clutch at his stomach, and Nicky wants to thank each of the women individually for whatever they said to make Joe laugh like that. 

“Over here, please, Nicky.” Helen says, and Nicky’s attention snaps back to the camera. Nicky prays that he isn’t too red in the photo after being caught staring at Joe. After Helen takes the picture, she shows it to Nicky, and after he makes sure he isn’t noticeably red in the picture, Nicky says it’s good and waits for Helen to print out his staff ID. Nicky usually doesn’t care about what his ID photos look like, but he wasn’t going to spend the next however many years with a staff photo that clearly shows him blushing. 

Nicky is looking around the office when Joe’s voice makes him spin around. “Hey, Nicky.” Joe is leaning against the other side of the front desk, no longer surrounded by the other two women. “I have to go, but I just wanted to make sure you’ll be good here?” 

“Yeah, I’m okay. Helen is just getting me my ID.” Nicky says, walking closer to the front desk, but he doesn’t lean against the desk like Joe. “Thank you for walking me here.” 

“Don’t mention it.” Joe shrugs, shooting Nicky a quick smile. “I’ll see you around?” Joe asks, starting to push off the front desk and straighten up. The movement makes his t-shirt draw tighter around his shoulders and chest, and Nicky forces himself to make eye contact with Joe before he’s caught staring. 

“Yes. Definitely.” Nicky says eagerly, praying he doesn’t sound as desperate as he thinks he does. Nicky is briefly saved from any further embarrassment by Helen coming back and handing him his ID card.

“Here’s your ID, Nicky. I laid out all your paperwork in the conference room, so whenever you’re ready just come in and we’ll get started.” Nicky thanks her as she walks away, probably back to the conference room. 

Nicky gestures back toward where Helen walked away from them. “I should probably get started on that. Thank you, again.” Nicky smiles at Joe as he also says his goodbyes and is about to round the corner to the conference room when Joe calls out his name. 

“Nicky.” Joe says, swinging around the corner with his hand on the wall, essentially boxing Nicky into the door with his body. Joe steps back as soon as he notices how close he and Nicky are standing and shoots Nicky a slightly embarrassed smile, but Nicky feels like he can’t move after Joe’s body was less than three inches from his. “Sorry. I just wanted to invite you to this thing all the teachers are having in the courtyard at seven tonight. It’s super casual, so no pressure or anything.” 

“Oh, Quynh already invited me to that.” Nicky says slowly, trying to understand the urgency he feels from Joe, why Joe rushed around the office to invite him to a casual party that happens every year. “I’ll be there.” 

Joe looks pleased when Nicky confirms he’s coming, but then he’s quickly telling him goodbye again and how he’ll find him at the party later, and then Nicky is alone again, still pressed against the conference room door. Nicky takes a deep breath and shakes his head, pushing all thoughts of Joe and his pretty smile out of his head, and opens the door to start his paperwork with Helen. 

~~~

A little before seven, Nicky walks to the courtyard that sits behind the elementary school building and finds Quynh easy enough. She’s setting up the drinks table with another woman who has short, brown hair, and Nicky watches as they move around each other as if they’ve been next to each other their whole lives. Nicky opens the gate that separates the parking lot from the courtyard, and the noise from the gate makes Quynh and the other woman turn toward Nicky. 

Nicky is greeted with Quynh’s bright smile and a simple look from the other woman. “Nicky! Come over here, meet Andy.” Nicky walks toward Quynh and Andy, noticing how the courtyard was split down the middle to separate a grassy field from a playground. Nicky looks Andy over again, noticing how her black jeans and her black shirt contrast against Quynh’s all red jumpsuit. 

“Nicky, this is Andy. My wife.” Quynh says, shooting a private smile to Andy at the end of her sentence. Andy doesn’t do anything other than look at Quynh out of the corner of her eyes, but even that simple act seems to make Quynh happy. 

“Hi, Andy. It’s nice to meet you.” Nicky says, waiting for Andy to say something or personally introduce herself in some way. Andy doesn’t say anything to Nicky for a moment, just stares at him with an unreadable expression that puts Nicky on edge. Nicky hooks his thumbs in the pockets of his jeans while Andy continues to stare at him as if she’s trying to get a read on him. 

Quynh shoots Nicky an apologetic look and then promptly elbows Andy in the side. Andy doesn’t flinch or respond in any way other than let out a very quiet groan, and that seems to be against her will. Nicky hasn’t taken his eyes off Andy the entire time, except to shoot a surprised look at Quynh when she elbowed Andy, put off a little by the staring contest but not wanting to back down. Andy seems to accept whatever she sees in him, or maybe she just doesn’t want to be elbowed by Quynh again, because she sticks her hand out for Nicky to take. 

“Nice to meet you. I teach gym and health here.” When Nicky takes her hand, she grips his hand tightly, and wanting to match whatever game she seems to be playing, he grips her hand back just as tightly. Andy shoots Nicky an amused look when she takes her hand back, and even seems to relax a little. “What do you teach?” 

“I teach statistics.” Nicky watches as Andy nods and takes a drink from her cup, when suddenly her eyes light up and she quickly excuses herself to walk behind Nicky. Nicky turns around to see what stole her attention and sees her jogging to meet the English teacher Nicky literally ran into earlier, Nile, at the gate, offering her whatever was left in her cup. Nile doesn’t even give the cup a second glance before she’s laughing at Andy and pushing the offered drink away from herself.

“Sorry about Andy.” Quynh says, but she sounds more fond than apologetic. “She’s a little wary around new people.” Quynh shoots a quick glance at Andy after she says that, and Nicky feels like there is more to that statement than he’s getting, but he doesn’t ask after it. 

“It’s alright.” Nicky says, because it really is. “How long have you two been married?” 

“We’ve known each other for over twenty-five years, but we’ve only been married for the last six years.” As she answers Nicky, Quynh’s eyes go bright and her smile turns into something soft. “We first met in college, but Andy was a senior and I was a freshman, so it wasn’t the right time. We kept running into each other after college but it never seemed to work out for us. Then we both applied to work here, without the other knowing, and when I saw her here, I just asked her to marry me.” Quynh finishes her story with a little sigh, like there is still something heavy to the fact that there was so much wasted time between her and Andy, but Quynh is still smiling, so Nicky assumes the hurt is mostly passed and only felt on occasion. 

“Oh, wow.” Nicky whispers, because Nicky can only imagine the chances of that happening. “It’s like it was destiny for you both to end up here.” 

“Yes, I guess it was destiny.” Quynh shoots Nicky an amused look, which is scarily similar to the one Andy gave him earlier, but she looks happy about what he said. Quynh gestures to the half set up drink table they’re standing next to, and asks Nicky, “Would you mind helping me finish setting up, Nicky? I seem to have lost my wife to the gossips over there.” 

Nicky quickly agrees to help her, but not before he looks behind him to see who the  _ gossips _ are. Nicky is surprised to find himself looking at Andy standing with Nile, Joe, and a muscled blonde man he’s never seen before. They all look deep in conversation, and everyone is using a lot of hand gestures and has wide eyes and raised eyebrows, so the gossip must be good. Nile seems to be sharing at the moment, since she has everyone’s attention and she looks particularly focused on whatever she’s saying. 

Nicky and Quynh work in silence for a few minutes, organizing the drinks on the table and putting out cups and napkins. Once everything is organized, Quynh passes him a cup with a raised eyebrow, and Nicky takes the cup to make himself a drink. Nicky saw that the vodka was already open and spots the cranberry juice right next to it, so Nicky makes himself a simple vodka cranberry. 

“You’re very fast.” Quynh notes, slowly pouring herself what looks like a bastardized version of a whiskey sour, mixing lemonade with her whiskey. 

Nicky looks down at his drink, realizing he didn’t even stop to think as he made his drink, just relied on muscle memory to tell him how much vodka he should pour with his cranberry juice. “I used to work at a bar, and vodka cranberries are one of the first drinks they teach you how to make. I don’t think I’ll ever forget how to make one.” 

Quynh nods, taking a sip of her whiskey to make sure it’s good. “I feel like almost everyone here has a similar experience. Hard time finding a job out of grad school?” 

“Yeah, kind of.” Nicky says, taking a drink to avoid answering any follow up questions. He  _ did  _ have a little trouble finding a job after he got his degree, if trouble is the director of his internship taking weeks to decide if he wants to hire him full-time, but it’s not why he was working at a bar. Nicky only stopped working at The Griffin two weeks ago when Copley offered him his job, and he didn’t really want to get into it. It still hurts him a little to think about how he had to leave, how he had to quit and take the job Copley offered. Nicky was never going to work at there forever, and everyone knew that, but that didn’t make leaving any easier. 

Quynh clearly sees his hesitance to talk about working at The Griffin and quickly changes the subject. “Let me introduce you to people. It’ll be fun.” Quynh takes Nicky’s arm in hers, and Nicky is soon trying to remember the names and faces of what feels like a thousand people. He doesn’t want to be rude, so he makes small talk with everyone Quynh introduces him too and  _ tries _ to remember their names and what they teach, but he knows there are a few people he’s never going to remember. Nicky finds the whole thing exhausting, making small talk and introducing himself and laughing at the right times, but Quynh is thriving in it. Quynh never seems to get tired of asking how her coworkers’ summers were or how their families are doing or what their schedules look like this year. Just when Nicky thinks he’s going to be talking to strangers all night, he sees someone familiar approach them with a wave. 

“Hey Quynh, Nicky.” Joe says, slowly walking up to the two of them with a smile. “How’s it going?” Joe changed from his earlier outfit into black jeans, a white t-shirt, and a dark green bomber jacket, and Nicky feels his breath catch at the sight. Nicky is beginning to think that there is  _ nothing _ that would look bad on Joe.

Quynh drops Nicky’s arm and rushes Joe in a hug, which Joe quickly returns. Nicky watches as Joe grabs Quynh and picks her up off the ground with a playful growl, and Quynh laughs brightly, wrapping her own arms around Joe’s shoulders. Nicky feels a small smile form on his face at the playful gesture. “Oh, Joe, I missed you. How was your summer?” 

Joe puts Quynh back on the ground and puts his hands on his own waist. “It was really nice. I went to Tunisia with my parents to visit some family, worked on my art a little bit.” 

“Worked on his art a little bit.” Quynh mocks, turning to face Nicky. Nicky raises an eyebrow at her and Joe, not understanding why that was being mocked. “Joe’s applying to a program for art teachers at the National Gallery of Art for this winter. Very prestigious.” 

“Okay, okay.” Joe ducks his head, hiding an embarrassed smile. “Yes, but I was trying to keep it quiet.” 

Quynh punches him playfully on the arm, tsking at him. “You shouldn’t. You’re really talented, so you should be bragging to literally everyone.” 

Nicky watches their exchange, figuring their bickering and physicality has developed after a long friendship. Joe and Quynh catch up a little more, Quynh telling Joe about her and Andy’s vacation to Japan and Joe telling Quynh more about his art for his application. Nicky takes a sip of his drink, looking around the courtyard and only vaguely listening to their conversation. Nicky spots the blonde man from earlier and Nile, both of them leaning against the wall of the school building, and the blonde man is showing Nile something on his phone, probably pictures. Nile places a hand on her chest and pouts at the blonde man, so the pictures are probably of something cute. 

“Oh, Nicky, have you met Booker yet?” Quynh asks him, interrupting his thoughts. Quynh points at the blonde man standing next to Nile, showing him who Booker is. 

“No, not yet. Copley only told me about him when he was showing me around.” Nicky says, subtly taking a breath to prepare himself for meeting more people. It’s not that Nicky doesn’t like everyone he’s meeting or appreciate Quynh’s kindness and generosity in introducing him to people, he’s just feeling a little burnt out. 

“Uh, Nicky.” Joe says quickly. “I’m going to get another drink, you want to come with me?” Joe points behind him to the drink table with a raised eyebrow, as if his question wasn’t clear enough. Nicky takes one look at the empty drink table and thinks about spending a few minutes alone with Joe and doesn’t have to think about his answer anymore. 

“Yeah, I could go for another drink.” Nicky doesn’t think he’s even halfway done with his drink. 

“Quynh, we’ll meet you over by Booker in a minute, yeah?” Joe says, but it isn’t really a question with the way he’s already directing Nicky toward the drink table. Quynh hums as an answer, already walking away from them and toward Booker.

Nicky rolls out his shoulders as he and Joe walk away, trying to let go of some of the tension he’s been carrying. Joe exhales heavily through his nose, staring at Nicky with a little smile as he laughs at him. Nicky opens his mouth to tell him  _ anything,  _ but he doesn’t have a good excuse for why he was a little tense, so he just ends up staring at Joe with his mouth open. 

“You could have just told Quynh you needed a little break. She wouldn’t have thought anything of it.” Joe says, emptying out whatever drink was in his cup and replacing it with water. “Quynh enjoys talking to people and moving through groups, but she knows not everyone likes it.” 

Nicky shrugs, finally able to close his mouth. “I didn’t want to be rude. She’s been so nice to me since I got here.” Nicky doesn’t really want another drink, so he just puts more ice in whatever is left of his drink and looks back at Joe. “How did you notice?” 

Joe shrugs, but there was obviously something that tipped him off. “Your shoulders. You- you pulled them back a little, like you were preparing yourself for something.” Joe explains, moving his own shoulders as an example, and Nicky can’t even enjoy watching Joe’s shoulders move, too caught up thinking about how Joe saw that he needed a little break from meeting new people. It couldn’t have been anything obvious, his shoulders probably just stayed pulled back after he took that deep breath, but Joe  _ saw. _

“Well, thank you.” Nicky says, still a little shocked, but he tries to hide it by taking a drink. Nicky looks at Joe over the rim of his cup, pointlessly trying to see if he can figure out how Joe read him like that. “So, what are you submitting for the art program?” Nicky asks, curious about what type of art Joe prefers or what he draws inspiration from. 

“I do drawings, mostly with charcoal, but I’ve been trying to get better at painting.” Joe says. “When I went to visit my family over the summer, I talked to a street artist who gave me some tips on how to be a better painter, but I don’t know...” Joe trails off with a shrug, like he doesn’t know if he’s getting any better or not. 

“Well, Quynh said you’re very good, and she doesn’t seem like the type to throw out empty compliments.” Nicky says, shrugging. “I’m sure you will be fine.” 

Joe raises an eyebrow at him, and Nicky still can’t get over how expressive his face is. “No, I guess she isn’t one to give out empty compliments.” 

Nicky desperately wants to see Joe’s art, wants to see what he draws and what he paints, but he doesn’t want to put Joe on the spot by asking him to show Nicky anything. Nicky decided to ask him later, once he gets to know Joe a little more, because even if he didn’t think Joe was incredibly handsome, he would still want to be his friend. “I’m good to go back now, so we can…” Nicky throws his hand behind his shoulder, showing he’s ready to go back into the crowd. 

“Oh, great. I think you’ll like Booker.” Joe says, throwing away his cup before they both walked away from the drink table. “Just a heads up, he’s probably going to want to show you a million pictures of his family, but in his defense, he has a very beautiful family.

“Yeah, Copley said. He has a son?” Nicky asks, wishing he had thrown away his drink too. It’s too watered down now from the ice, and he feels awkward with his cup in his hands and knowing he’s not going to drink from it. 

“Three sons. Louis is the oldest, he’s nineteen and went to college last year. Booker was a mess when he dropped him off. Charles is the middle son, he’s fifteen, and Jean-Pierre is the baby, he just turned ten.” Joe explains, and Nicky watches a smile form on his face. “They’re good kids. Really sweet.”

“Do the younger two go here?” Nicky asks, curious if Joe is so fond of them because he’s their teacher. 

Joe shakes his head. “No, Booker lives two towns over, but I, uh…” Joe trails off, scratching his beard as he thinks. “Booker’s wife got sick a while ago, so I watched their kids when they went to doctor’s appointments or when things got bad.” 

Nicky’s heart stops, thinking of Booker without a wife and his three sons without their mother. “Is she…” Nicky doesn’t want to finish his sentence, doesn’t even know  _ how _ to ask something like that about a man he’s never met. 

“Oh, yeah,  _ yes _ , she’s fine.” Joe reassures him quickly, even stops walking to make sure Nicky understands just how well she’s doing. “The doctor told them that she’s doing really well and they should expect it to stay that way.” 

Nicky exhales, a weight lifting off his chest that he didn’t even know was there. “Oh, good. Okay.” Nicky knows he may have gotten too invested in Booker’s personal life during their short conversation, but he  _ did _ care and he  _ was _ worried, because that’s just how he is. Nicky shakes his head and waves his hands in front of him, clearing the air of any sadness. 

Joe smiles at him, and Nicky can’t tell if he’s smiling at Nicky’s hand gestures or just to lighten the mood. Joe jerks his head to the side, gesturing for them to keep walking. “C’mon, let’s go meet everyone.”

Nicky checks to see who  _ everyone _ is, but it looks like he already met most of them. Joe walks him toward Quynh, Andy, Nile, and Booker, who are talking to each other like they’re all very close. Quynh has her arm wrapped around Andy’s waist, keeping the two of them literally attached at the hip, and Nile and Booker are standing across from the two of them. 

“Quynh said the four of you were gossips.” Nicky says, just for something to say and to see what Joe’s reaction would be. Joe does not disappoint, his exaggerated eye roll and scoff making Nicky smile.

“Don’t let her fool you. She likes to gossip just as much as us, if not more. You should see the texts she sends us sometimes.” Joe says, shaking his head and pitching his voice to match Quynh’s. “Oh my god,  _ guys _ , you won’t believe who just got fired- or, there was this one time she was literally obsessed with getting these two teachers together. She was convinced they were in love with each other from the moment they saw each other.” 

“Did they end up dating?” Nicky asks, curious if Quynh’s instincts were right. Nicky looks ahead of them again, and they’re only a couple feet from the rest of the group now. 

“Yes, she was right, but we don’t bring it up in front of her anymore.” Joe says, putting his index finger to his lips with a sideways glance. “She brags about it for days afterwards. She was unbearable the week after they got married.” 

Nicky nods like he understands just how unbearable Quynh got and mimes zipping his lips closed. Secretly, he’s impressed Quynh was so precise with her assumptions and match making, but he feels like this is the wrong crowd to say that in. 

All eyes turn to Nicky and Joe as they get to the group, but before Nicky can say hello or Joe can break the ice of bringing a new person into their group, Quynh looks at Joe with a wicked smile and asks, “Were you talking about Matt and Sophia?”

Everyone groans at the same time, except Andy, who smirks down at Quynh from her place next to her. Joe throws his hands up next to himself and asks, “How did you even hear us?”, Nile covers her smile with her hand and shakes her head, and Booker swears in French and downs the rest of whatever is in his cup. 

“I always know when someone is talking about my greatest accomplishment.” Quynh says, and that elicits another round of groans from the group. “Did he tell you, Nicky? They started working here around the same time, and it was so clear to me that they had an instant connection, but no one else believed me. So, for months and-”

“Okay, Quynh, I’m sure Nicky would love to hear this story  _ another _ time.” Andy says, looking at Quynh with a proud smile. “Nicky, have you met Nile and Booker?” 

Andy is looking directly at Nicky again, and while it still feels like Andy is staring into Nicky’s soul, this time it feels less analyzing. Less dangerous for Nicky. “I met Nile earlier today, but I haven’t officially met Booker yet.” 

Booker steps forward before Nicky is even done talking, offering Nicky his hand. “Hey, Nicky. How are you liking it here so far?” 

A lot of people have asked Nicky that question, or some variation of it, but it feels a little more genuine coming from Booker, like a part of him cares what Nicky’s answer is going to be, even if it’s a small part of him. It’s also refreshing to have a different starting point in his conversations, something other than what he teaches or where he’s from. “I like it. Everyone has been so nice and welcoming, and the school is beautiful.” 

Booker does show him pictures of his family like Joe predicted, but it is during the normal course of their conversation when families come up, so it isn’t too out of the blue. Booker had been mostly silent and unsmiling during their conversation, but when Nicky compliments his family, he lights up and talks about his wife and sons until Nile cuts him off with a gentle elbow to the stomach. Booker rolls his eyes but moves on, telling Nicky that he works in the library and that it’s good to meet him. 

Nicky learns a little bit about each of them throughout the night. Nicky learns that Nile is originally from Chicago but moved out here five years ago for her job, she has a little brother that she adores and sees as often as she can, she double majored in English and art history in college, she has been learning to crochet and once she masters it everyone she knows is getting something cute, and she’s thinking of getting into boxing once she gets settled into the school year. Nicky likes Nile, had found her nice enough from their very short interaction in the hallway earlier, but he didn’t get a chance to really talk to her and get to know her. Nicky likes her confidence and strength, gets the impression that she isn’t afraid to say what’s on her mind around anyone, but he also sees her compassion and her love for her family and friends burn right alongside that. 

Andy and Quynh talk over each other and interrupt each other so much, but it’s clearly with love and a rich history, so their stories kind of get lumped into one for Nicky. Nicky hears the story of how Andy and Quynh met during Quynh’s freshman year when Andy was Quynh’s RA and then TA, but they didn’t really get to know each other until Quynh was in graduate school and Andy was working at a gym in the area. Quynh tells Nicky about the work she did with ancient languages before she started working here, and Nicky watches as Andy shifts infinitesimally closer to Quynh as she talks. Nicky remembers Quynh telling him  _ it never seemed to work out for us _ earlier and Nicky draws his attention away from the gesture and listens to Andy talk, where she tells Nicky that she’s always worked as either a personal trainer or a gym teacher, but she’s always enjoyed teaching more, especially middle school kids. Nicky is surprised by the age group she prefers to work with, since every teacher he’s ever known has never actively wanted to work with middle school kids. 

What Nicky learns about Joe only makes his heart beat a little faster whenever he glances over at Joe. Nicky learns about his love of poetry and literature, how he writes his own poetry when he has the time, and Nicky is now even more eager to read his writing than he is to see Joe’s art. It’s a close call, though. Joe doesn’t like the teacher that is next to him in the high school building, for understandable reasons like she’s too loud and for less serious reasons like “her vibes are evil”, so he and Nile complain about her for a few minutes. Joe’s parents now live in New Jersey, a little over two hours away, so he goes to dinner once a month at their house and catches up with what his father is translating for his work or what his mother is designing for her engineering job. At one point, Joe says something about soccer that makes Booker shout at him in French, and to Nicky’s surprise, Joe answers him in what seems to be perfect French, if not accented differently than Booker. Nicky is worried they’re having a real argument, but Nicky quickly notices both of their smiles, so he figures this is just a recurring argument they have. 

At the end of the night, when Nicky is helping clean up and put tables away, he thinks about how fortunate he was to be introduced to Quynh this afternoon. Throughout the evening, Nicky got a clear sense that Nile, Joe, Booker, Quynh, and Andy are all friends with each other and have been friends for quite some time, so there really was no need for Joe or Quynh to bring him into their little group, but they  _ did.  _ Nicky could have spent the night as an awkward wallflower or floating between different groups of people, but what ended up happening was much better. Even if they don’t become the best of friends during the school year, Nicky will always remember and appreciate their kindness on his first day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i hope that didn't feel too slow but i had to set everything up, and all the exciting stuff happens from here on out 
> 
> my tog sideblog is @ariesnicolo


	2. september

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bell for first period rings and Nicky looks out at his new sea of students, who are all either looking at him suspiciously or turned around in their seats and talking to their friends. Nicky gives them a handful more seconds to stop their conversations and get situated before he starts class. 
> 
> “Hello, I’m Mr. di Genova and I’m your new statistics teacher.” Nicky knows the beginning of any school year with a new teacher is always a little weird, so he tries not to feel too awkward when all they do is stare at him with blank faces. Nicky also reminds himself that it is first period, so his students are likely all very tired. “Uh, a little bit about how I’m going to structure my class, since it probably isn’t what you are expecting.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nicky makes friends at work and sometimes that's a little challenging and sometimes it goes really well but it works out in the end !

**_September_ **

The bell for first period rings and Nicky looks out at his new sea of students, who are all either looking at him suspiciously or turned around in their seats and talking to their friends. Nicky gives them a handful more seconds to stop their conversations and get situated before he starts class. 

“Hello, I’m Mr. di Genova and I’m your new statistics teacher.” Nicky knows the beginning of any school year with a new teacher is always a little weird, so he tries not to feel too awkward when all they do is stare at him with blank faces. Nicky also reminds himself that it is first period, so his students are likely all very tired. “Uh, a little bit about how I’m going to structure my class, since it probably isn’t what you are expecting.” 

“First, I will never assign homework, since I know you all probably have many after school responsibilities that keep you busy enough. Second, we will never use a textbook in this class, instead I will hand out packets covering what we’re studying that week, and the packets will have two sections: problems that I’ve already worked through and written explanations about, and a second half that has problems for you to do. Every problem that is in the second half has a corresponding example and explanation in the first half. You are of course allowed to ask me as many questions about the problems in class and during my office hours as you want.” 

Nicky pauses, letting his students take in all that information in. Nicky is also looking at their faces, trying to see if they like this instructional method or if they have some kind of problem with it. Everyone looks either pleased that he won’t be giving them homework and they won’t have to lug around a textbook everyday, or they look half asleep and could care less what he has to say right now. 

“So, I know everybody hates ice-breakers,” Nicky holds back a smile as he hears some groans and watches their faces change to something sour, “but I do want to get to know you all! So, here is a single page of questions about yourself, nothing too serious, that I’d like you to fill out now. There is also a section on the bottom where you can write down any concerns you may have about this class or math in general.” Nicky picks up the pile of papers and counts how many students are in each column of desks, hands that number of papers to the first student in each column for them to pass down. “Everything on this paper will be private and only seen by me, and you can skip any questions you want.” 

Nicky sits at his desk while he waits for them to fill out the sheet, taking attendance during the meantime so he isn’t just looking at them as they work. Nicky tries to match up the student ID pictures he has available with the faces he sees in his class, but all of the pictures are outdated and it takes him much longer than he would like. Nicky eventually finishes attendance and has all the papers back, which he’ll look at after school. 

Nicky claps his hands together and stands, addresses his class to start the lecture. “Okay, today is going to be an easy day. I’m just going to go over basic statistical concepts so I know everyone is on the same page. Please don’t be afraid to ask as many questions as you need, even if it might seem easy to others or at first glance.” 

Nicky watches as they all take out their notebooks and something to write with, and when one of his students inevitably asks him for a pencil, he takes out the extra pack of pencils he keeps in his desk and passes it around. Nicky makes sure everyone is all set before he turns to the whiteboard and starts writing, going over the basics of reading different kinds of graphs and distributions, and explaining terms that they’re going to be hearing frequently during the semester. 

No one asks Nicky any questions and he isn’t sure if it’s because his students genuinely comprehend the material or they’re just too shy to ask questions. Nicky can usually tell the difference through their facial expressions, and Nicky isn’t picking up on any confusion, but he wonders if that might be because they’re tired or he just doesn’t know them well enough. 

The rest of the day follows a similar pattern, Nicky introduces himself and his class structure, asks his students to fill out the introduction papers, and in between when he has free periods to cover study halls or lunch he gets to spend more time with some of the teachers he met yesterday. They are all pleasant enough, but a part of Nicky that he refuses to explore more had hoped that Joe would have been scheduled to work those free periods with him, even though he knew it was likely impossible. 

By the end of the day, there is an ache in his shoulder that only comes from writing on the whiteboard all day, but he welcomes it. It’s been a while since he’s felt that particular ache, since he was able to spend all day teaching something he was passionate about, teaching to someone who was eager to learn. Teaching someone at The Griffin how to make drinks wasn’t really the same, even though it could be fun, it didn’t give Nicky the same satisfaction as teaching in a school. 

Nicky eventually gets to the introduction sheets his students filled out, focusing most of his attention on what students noted their concerns about his class were. Most of them are just general concerns about never being good at math or seniors worried they won’t make the grade cutoff to not have to take the final, but some of them are more serious to Nicky. Someone wrote down that they have always had a hard time focusing in classes that don’t necessarily require constant, active participation, so Nicky makes a mental note to research how he can help them stay focused. 

A figure in his doorway takes his attention away from his papers, and he looks up to find Nile standing in his doorway. “Hey, Nicky. Just checking in after your first day. Everything go okay?” 

Nicky smiles, not expecting anyone to stop by and check in on him after his first day. “Oh, yeah, everything went really well. The students seemed to like me well enough, so I can’t really ask for anything more.” 

Nile laughs, looking happy that Nicky had a good start at the school. “Okay, good. If you ever need anything, literally anything at all, I’m right down the hall.” 

“Thank you.” Nicky says, genuinely touched by her kindness. “I appreciate that.”

“Anytime.” Nile looks over her shoulder when she hears someone call her name, and Nicky can’t be sure, but he thinks it sounds like Andy. “Oh, hey, we’re going to the store for some supplies, did you need me to pick anything up for you? I can bring it by your classroom tomorrow morning.” 

“Oh, no, I’m good.” Nicky waves her offer away, letting Nile get to her afternoon plans. 

“Don’t be a stranger, Nicky!” Nile calls down the hallway after she leaves Nicky’s doorway and meets probably-Andy. Nicky smiles down at his papers after she leaves, happy that Nile stopped by and asked after his day. All things considered, Nicky has had a pretty good first day. 

~~~

Nicky doesn’t see Joe again until the end of his first week. Nicky had been staying focused on his lesson plans and making sure he created a good relationship with all his students, so he hadn’t really been  _ thinking _ about Joe, but he hadn’t  _ not  _ been thinking about Joe too. Nicky didn’t walk around every corner and hope he ran into Joe, but he did feel his heartbeat pick up when he saw a man with curly hair at school and hoped it was Joe. It was a fine line to walk, but Nicky thought he was doing it well. 

Nicky had been making copies on the third floor copier, which was always open and free of other people, when he was coming to understand why no one ever used it. Nicky had been pressing the big green Start button on the copier with no success for three minutes when he decided to give up and try the copier on the first floor. He had seen it on his first day, in a side room off of the administration offices, and it seemed new and fancy, which probably meant it worked. 

That’s how Nicky found himself in a small, crowded room with Joe and Nile, who were sitting close together and talking. They both look up when Nicky walks in the room, and he hopes he isn’t imagining how Joe’s face lights up when he sees Nicky. Nile is happy to see Nicky too, and it looks like she’s going to pick up her hand to wave at Nicky, but Joe gently, but quickly, brings her hand back to the table. 

“Nile, my designs!” Joe says, quickly inspecting Nile’s hands. Nicky soon spots the nail polish and paper thin paint brushes cluttering the little table they’re sitting at. “We worked so hard.” 

“I’m sorry! I just forgot, and I’m sure they’re dry by now.” Nile rolls her eyes at Joe, but she has a fond look on her face that betrays her eye roll. Nile turns back to Nicky, able to properly greet him this time. “Hi, Nicky. You here to make copies?”

“Yeah, the copier on the third floor wasn’t working.” 

“That thing never works. But I’m afraid you’re going to have to wait a while.” Nile says, shooting an apologetic smile Nicky’s way. “Joe always waits until the last minute to make all six hundred of his copies for the next week.” 

“Hey!” Joe says to Nile, but then he turns to Nicky to defend himself. Nicky, who is still standing by the door, can’t take his eyes off Joe. He looks even more beautiful than the last time Nicky saw him. “I like to wait until the end of the week so I can make my copies alone, in peace.” 

“Sure,” Nile mumbles under her breath, “that’s why you always invite me to sit with you while you make your copies.” 

Joe ignores her comment in favor of inviting Nicky to sit with them. Joe kicks out the empty chair next to Nile and says, “Come sit with us. You can be a part of the design process too.” 

Nicky gladly sits down and looks at Nile’s nails, taking a minute to absorb the designs. Each of her fingers has a different base color and design, and each one is more beautiful and intricate than the next. One finger is painted a bright orange and painted over with little white butterflied outlined in black, another is painted with a clear base color and has many little flowers designed over it, like a mini-garden, but it’s done in a way that doesn’t look overcrowded. Sometimes the designs are more playful, but no less beautiful, like the little panda face that is painted at the edge of one of Nile’s nails. 

Nicky looks up to see Joe’s expectant face, and Nicky suddenly remembers that he was asked to be a part of the design process. Nicky thinks they’re all beautiful, but he doesn’t think that’s an acceptable answer right now. “Um, I like the butterflies. It’s detailed, but simple, and not in a way that’s dull. I like the colors you used, too.” 

Nicky sees a flash of a smile on Joe’s face before he’s looking serious again. “Okay, now which is your least favorite?” 

Nile scoffs, but keeps her hands still for Nicky to continue looking. “My least favorite? I don’t-” 

“It’s alright, Nicky. It’s all a part of the  _ process _ .” Nile says that like she’s making fun of Joe, and Joe flicks Nile gently on her arm in retaliation. 

“Are you thinking of opening a nail painting business?” Nicky mumbles, looking over Nile’s nails again. Nicky doesn’t really know which design is his least favorite, since they’re all very good. Joe is clearly a gifted and talented painter, and Nicky doesn’t know why he was doubting his skills at the get together last week. Nicky isn’t sure how well nail painting skills translate to canvas painting skills, but he can only assume there is some crossover. 

“No, I usually offer to paint Nile’s nails when we make copies, but ever since I started my application for the gallery, I’ve been wanting to try out different styles and ideas. I’m hoping one of them will stick with me by the time I have to finish my last painting for the application.” 

Nicky scratches at his nose, finally deciding which is his least favorite. He looks up hesitantly, not waiting to offend Joe or hurt his feelings, but he _did_ ask. “Okay, so my least favorite, if I _have_ to pick one, it would be that one.” Nicky points to a nail painted white, with dark green stems and blue petals growing off the stems designed on. “It’s very pretty, but you already have another flower design, but this one is not...I just feel like I have seen it before.”

“Mhm. That’s a good point Nicky.” Nile says, making Nicky exhale with relief. As he was saying it, he was worried he was being too harsh, too rude. It’s not that he didn’t like the flowers, they just weren’t as original or interesting as Joe’s other designs. “Everyone is doing simple flowers now, Joe. That isn’t really something you submit to the National Gallery of Art.” 

“Yes, I guess you’re right, Nile.” Joe sighs and drags a hand over his face, like that was the worst thing Nile could have said to him. “Thank you for your opinions, Nicky. They’re very insightful.” 

“You’re welcome.” Nicky says gently, not really content with his reply. Even though Nicky doesn’t really know Joe, he wants to make him feel better, wants him to focus on the designs that  _ are _ good and should be considered for submission. Nicky briefly looks over at Nile to make sure he isn’t the only one feeling like this, and feels rewarded when he sees Nile looking at Joe with worry. She doesn’t want Joe to focus on the negative aspects of this conversation either, not when there are better things to be focusing on. “Which is your favorite design, Joe?” 

Joe takes a deep breath and focuses on Nile’s nails again, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Nile nudges Nicky’s shoulder to get his attention and smiles at him when they make eye contact. Nicky just shrugs, not really sure how to respond. Joe sighs like he’s preparing himself to say something, and Nicky and Nile both turn to look at him. “Well, I guess my favorite style is the mini garden. I like how the nail polish is layered, so it creates texture and ridges, making it look more realistic. I could do more paintings that way, see what happens.” 

“Yeah! There we go, you can work on that next week. Take the weekend to relax and just brainstorm, on Monday you can start fresh again.” Nile nods encouragingly at Joe, who is looking more hopeful about his future paintings by the second. 

Joe stands up suddenly and gently grabs Nile’s face between his hands, kisses her forehead with a loud smack, and pulls back to look at her with shining eyes. Nicky can’t take his eyes off Joe, how his eyes have seemed to grow three times their size with happiness, bright and soft in a way that should be impossible. “You are a Godsend, a blessing in my simple but wonderful life. I have the first round when we go out next.” 

Joe turns to Nicky next, and he suddenly stops, as if realizing he can’t grab Nicky’s face and kiss his forehead. Joe’s mouth falls open as he seems to think of what gesture would be appropriate for Nicky, a man he has spoken to three times. No matter how much Nicky would like to have his face grabbed and kissed by Joe, he does understand and appreciate the hesitation. Nicky saves him the trouble of having to decide by smirking and asking, “Am I a Godsend too?” 

Joe laughs, and he looks relieved to not have to make the decision about what to do with Nicky. “I haven’t decided yet. I need more evidence before I make my final decision.” Joe scoops up all the nail polish and brushes and puts them in a bucket, which seems to have a saved spot in one of the cabinets in the room. Joe presses two kisses into his hands and blows them toward Nile and Nicky, and Nicky hopes his blush isn’t too obvious as Joe runs out of the copy room and toward his classroom. 

Nicky hears the copier click behind him and suddenly remembers why he was even in this room. “Wait! Joe, your-” 

“No, it’s okay. He forgets his copies about half the time, especially recently with his application.” Nile sighs, turning in her chair and pressing some buttons on the copier to get it to start again. “He just gets so caught up in his head sometimes, and he’s already finished a few paintings for his application, it’s just this last one is really getting to him.” 

“I haven’t seen any of Joe’s art, but from what I’ve seen on your nails, he is very talented. He doesn’t have anything to worry about.” Nicky is still shocked by all the detail Joe was able to fit into a design on Nile’s nails, it seems impossible that someone could be that good at painting nails. 

“I know, and I’ve  _ tried _ to tell him that, but he won’t listen to me. This is really important to him, so I get why he’s so stressed and worried.” Nile says, standing up and grabbing Joe’s finished copies. “But once he gets over his stuck point, he’s pretty much unstoppable. I won’t hear from Joe or see him all weekend while he’s working, he might even come into work with paint in his hair again.” 

Nile seems very amused by that idea, like it was very funny for everyone except Joe the last time that happened. “I’m gonna go and drop these off in Joe’s classroom, but have a nice weekend, yeah?” Nicky wishes Nile the same and thanks her, and turns to the copier to start making his own copies. He doesn’t have too many to make, so it won’t be long before he’s going home for the weekend too. 

“Uh, hey,” Nile pauses in the doorway and calls after Nicky, making him turn and face her. “The third floor copier is literally a demon sent from Hell, so just don’t ever use it. Just use this one or the one on the second floor, they’re always working.”

“Thanks for the advice. I’ll stay away from the copier upstairs.” Nile smiles at him when she finally leaves, and Nicky is left to press buttons on this copier until something happens. The downstairs copier is quite fast and works much better than the one upstairs, and if Nicky privately decides to only use the first floor copier from now on, it’s certainly not only because of the machine. The prospect of seeing Joe during the week, even if it’s only for a few minutes, is worth the inconvenience of walking down three flights of stairs and to the complete opposite side of the building. 

~~~

It takes Nicky two and a half weeks to go to the library. He’s always wanted to go to the library, since it’s the only place in the high school building he hasn’t really seen yet, but he’s never really had the time until now. Today, Nicky has plenty of time before first period starts, since he woke up too early before his alarm and couldn’t fall back asleep, so he carefully steps through the wide doors to the library and looks around. 

To his immediate left is Booker’s desk, large and curving outward from the wall, and his desk is littered with books, papers with book recommendations and reading lists, and pictures of his family. Booker isn’t at his desk, but the door was open, so Nicky can only assume he’s somewhere in the room. To the left behind Booker’s desk is a row of desktop computers facing a projector and screen, and Nicky figures that area is for student projects or research. Lining the side and back walls are shelves filled with books, and the part of Nicky that loves trashy romance novels is itching to look at what books are available. The middle of the room has large tables like Joe has in his classroom, and when Nicky looks to his right, he sees the space there also has a few tables for students. Nicky spots a few students at one of the large tables in the middle of the room, their noses buried in a textbook, probably doing some last minute studying for an exam. 

Nicky is going to turn around and leave, having looked around the library like he wanted to, but then he feels a hand clap on his shoulder and squeeze. Nicky spins around to find Booker looking at him, a little smile on his face as he looks Nicky over. “Hey, man. You need something?”

Nicky tenses for a second, figuring by Booker’s clipped sentences that he doesn’t really want Nicky around at the moment, but then Nicky looks over Booker’s face again and doesn’t see any frustration, sees that he’s actually just asking if Nicky needed something. “No, I was just looking. I’ve never been in the library before.” 

“Ah, well, here it is in all its glory.” Booker says, sweeping one of his hands in front of them and gesturing to the library as a whole. He still hasn’t taken his other hand off Nicky’s shoulder, but Nicky doesn’t really mind. “Over there are the desktops, you can schedule your classes to use them if they have group projects or need to do work that requires a computer.” 

Nicky nods, Booker just conforming what Nicky had already suspected. “Do you always open the library this early?” 

“Yeah. When I first started here, I used to drop my sons off at school and then come and unlock the doors, so kids would only have maybe twenty minutes to be in here before first period started.” Booker finally takes his hand off Nicky's shoulder and walks behind his desk, gesturing for Nicky to follow. “Then one kid told me that his mom had to drop him off really early before school started so she could make it to work on time, and he asked me if there was any way I could open the library earlier so he would have someplace to sit while he waited for school to start.” 

Booker does something on his desk computer that makes all the student desktops turn on and the printers hum with life, and Nicky is stuck between focusing on the conversation they were having and asking how he managed to do that. 

“That kid doesn’t go here anymore, but I still open the doors as early as possible for anyone who might be in a similar situation. My sons are old enough now that after I wake them up they can handle themselves and it isn’t too hard for my wife to handle the rest by herself.” 

“That’s very thoughtful.” Nicky says, remembering Copley’s story about how Booker let the little students choose his new nickname, that he chooses to introduce himself as and have his friends refer to him as. “I’m sure they appreciate the space to get some last minute work done, too.” Nicky nods his head toward the students in the back, who are still focused on their textbook, but now someone’s notes have been thrown into the mix. 

“Ah, yeah. They came in worrying about how they all forgot about a quiz they have this morning.” Booker widens his eyes and raises his eyebrows, stressing the seriousness of the situation. “Clearly, a very high stress situation.” 

Nicky exhales heavily through his nose, an amused smile pulling across his face. “I wish there was a way I could convince them that one quiz two weeks into the quarter means nothing in the long run.” 

“Would you have believed that at their age?” Booker side eyes him, fiddling with something in his desk drawer. 

“No, I guess not.” Nicky sighs, thinking back to his high school self, desperate to learn and absorb any knowledge he could, practically inhaling any book that was in front of him. Not much has changed since then, but Nicky knows how to balance it better now, knows that learning should be a source of joy and not stress. 

Booker pulls out a basket of snacks, what looks like granola bars, fruit, and different kinds of nuts. Booker hands the basket to him with a raised eyebrow, but Nicky shakes his head at the offer. “Alright. If you’ll excuse me, Nicky, I’m going to save myself the trouble of having to call the school nurse in ten minutes when they inevitably pass out from not eating breakfast.” 

Nicky watches Booker walk to the students table and offer them the basket of snacks, which the students look very pleased to see. Booker says something to them that Nicky can only assume was meant to calm them down, to try and lessen their anxiety about the quiz. The kids don’t seem to believe him, Nicky can still see that crazy look in their eyes that means they’ve read too many notes in too little time, but they’re eagerly eating their snacks, so Nicky hopes Booker counts this as a win. 

When Booker sits down with them at their table and pulls their textbook and notes toward himself, Nicky takes that as his signal to leave and go upstairs to his classroom. Nicky doesn’t know what he expected from Booker, because Nicky saw that he was a decent and kind man from the first time he met him, but Booker’s thoughtfulness was a nice surprise, even though Nicky never expected him to be  _ cruel _ . There was definitely an undercurrent of cynicism in most things Booker said, but it was weakened by his obvious care for his students and his work. 

~~~

Quynh is still friendly to Nicky, stops by his classroom and engages him in small talk before first period or between periods, but Andy is still largely a mystery to him. Nicky knows that Andy isn’t a  _ cold _ person, she obviously has a lot of love for Quynh and seems to get along really well with Nile, Joe, and Booker, but Nicky still hasn’t been able to get past her defenses. It’s not like Nicky expected the two of them to be best friends by the end of his first month, but Nicky had gotten the impression that Andy had warmed up to him by the end of the get together in August, but Nicky had apparently read that wrong. 

Andy remains polite and friendly enough with Nicky, and Nicky is fine with it because he doesn’t want to pressure Andy to engage with him if she doesn’t want to, but it’s just- Nicky doesn’t  _ get  _ it. He doesn’t think he said anything to Andy that would have offended her, since they haven’t had a conversation that lasted long enough for Nicky to say anything hurtful. When Nicky sees Andy, sometimes with Quynh and sometimes not, Nicky waves and says hello, and Andy nods and says hi, Nicky will ask how she’s doing, and Andy will usually say she’s doing fine before she tells Nicky goodbye. 

Nicky doesn’t think that Andy just doesn’t like him either, since he’s seen her interact with someone she clearly hated. Interact might even be too strong a word for what Nicky witnessed. Nicky had been talking to another teacher in the third floor break room,  _ Dan _ , when Andy walked in and saw the two of them. Dan had been leaning against the counter, talking to Nicky who was sitting down at a table, and Andy didn’t even say a single word to Dan before she reached behind him for the coffee pot. Nicky said his usual hello to Andy, and Andy gave Nicky her usual nod, but then something different happened. 

Dan had broken the thread of his conversation with Nicky to say hello to Andy, but all Andy did was glare at him. Nicky had never seen Andy look so offended that someone had spoken to her, never seen her (or anyone) look so threatening with a single look. Dan resumed his conversation with Nicky, seemingly not affected by Andy’s response to his greeting. After Andy had finished pouring her coffee into her mug, she set it down on the counter, and Nicky watched with wide eyes as Andy’s arm moved and knocked right against her mug and spilled coffee all over Dan’s forearm. It looked like an accident, but Nicky didn’t think it was. 

Dan shouted and looked over to Andy, who only blinked at him and said, “Oops.” Dan left the break room looking pissed, but Andy just picked up a rag and cleaned up the coffee, took Dan’s space against the counter, looking calm as she drank her coffee. Andy must have seen his shocked face because she explained in a tone that meant he was  _ not  _ to ask any more questions, “He is not a good man, Nicky.” 

So, Nicky thinks he would know if Andy hated him, if her reluctance to engage was because of dislike rather than...something else Nicky doesn’t understand. 

Now, Nicky sits in the third floor break room with Nile and Quynh, grading quizzes while Nile rereads a chapter of the book her students are reading and Quynh makes a quiz for her students. Nile is humming to herself as she makes new annotations in her book and Quynh is periodically reading out loud in a language Nicky doesn’t understand, but all Nicky can focus on is what happened with Andy a few days ago.  _ Quynh  _ would probably have the answers Nicky is looking for. 

Nile swears and licks the tip of her pen, and Nicky watches as she tries to bring ink to the tip of her pen and scribbles in her book. “I’ll be right back.” 

“Do you just want to use one of my pens?” Nicky offers, pulling one of his extra pens out of his bag.

“No, but thank you. I have a color system with my pens when I annotate.” Nile picks up her pink pen, the one that ran out of ink, and lightly waves it around. “It’s fine, we’re on our floor. It’ll take me, like, a minute to get a new pen.” 

Nile leaves, and Nicky is left alone with Quynh, who didn’t bother to pick her head up during Nicky and Nile’s conversation. Nicky thinks that he could ask her about Andy, but he doesn’t know if Quynh would take kindly to that. Nicky doesn’t know how Quynh would feel about Nicky asking questions about Andy’s behavior, or how Quynh would feel discussing Andy while she wasn’t around. Nicky must have been staring blankly at Quynh for far too long, because she waves in front of his face with a curious look on her face. “You alright? You spaced out pretty hard there.” 

“Oh, yeah, I’m okay. I was just…” Nicky scratches his nose, deciding to just get it over with. “Can I ask you something? About Andy?”

Quynh blinks and pulls her attention away from her work, turns fully toward Nicky. “You can ask, but I might not answer.” Her words are serious, but there is a playful shine in her eyes that relaxes Nicky. 

“It’s just...did I do something to offend her? She doesn’t seem to want to talk to me.” As the words leave Nicky’s mouth, he hates them, but he can’t take them back. “Because if I did, I would want to apologize.” 

Quynh sighs, picking up one of Nile’s pens to fiddle with while she thinks. “No, you didn’t offend her. Andy, she...she’s strong and thoughtful and determined, and she feels  _ so much _ . For- for a long time, she had to be the leader, she had to be the one who would take everything in and turn it around and be a source of strength and focus for those around her. And she still is, in a sense, but it’s different now.” Quynh looks down at her work, memories of what she’s talking about probably surfacing, thinking about why it’s  _ different _ . Quynh shakes her head, clearing her thoughts. “Anyways, what- what I mean to say is, she just needs time. Time to trust you, to figure you out. It’s really nothing personal, but Andy needs to see that you’re going to do good here. But once she sees you and trusts you, she’ll be the best friend you’ve ever had.” 

Nicky nods, thinking. What Quynh told him was helpful, since he hadn’t expected Quynh to tell him the secret to win Andy over instantly, and it seems like one doesn’t even exist. Nicky just has to be patient, which he can do. He can give Andy time, can keep their conversations short and to the point until Andy reaches out, can show Andy that he means no harm to her work friends. Nicky isn’t that complicated, so it shouldn’t take Andy much longer to get a read on him. 

“ _ But _ , if you want to speed that up, find her some good baklava. Hazelnuts, pomegranate.” Quynh smiles at Nicky, a small quirk of her lips. “It’s her favorite.” 

“Baklava. Okay, I can do that.” Nicky says, trying to remember if he has a good recipe for baklava saved anywhere. It’s not like Nicky had plans tonight, anyways. 

~~~

The baklava goes over as well as Nicky could have expected, meaning everyone else loudly appreciates the treats, and Andy has yet to show Nicky any emotion toward them. It shouldn’t be possible, but the way Andy is looking at him as she breaks off pieces of baklava and eats it is making his stomach twist into knots. He’s always a little nervous when people eat the food or treats he makes, but this is something else entirely. Nicky feels like his entire fate with Andy rests on this one tray of baklava, and even though he knows that’s not rational, it’s all he has to go on at this point. 

When Nicky had gotten home yesterday, he had done hours of research about which baklava recipes were the best and which ingredients would yield the best results and which brand of hazelnuts would be best to use. Nicky left his apartment with more knowledge of baklava than anyone ever needed, but he believed it was better to be over prepared than underprepared. Nicky bought enough ingredients to allow himself a few mistakes, in case the first couple tries didn’t come out good enough. 

It took Nicky five and a half hours to make the baklava he brought into work, (the dough was too soft the first time and Nicky just didn’t like the second batch), but looking at everyone’s faces as they tried some, it was worth it. Nicky had ended his day covered in flour and sticky from the pomegranate, but he had gone to bed feeling accomplished and proud of what he made. 

A moan brings him back to the present, and Nicky follows the sound to Joe, who has his eyes closed and is making truly indecent noises, noises that are not appropriate for the first floor break room. Joe throws his head back on what must be a particularly good bite, and Nicky's mouth is suddenly bone dry, he can’t look away from the line of Joe’s neck thrown back. When Joe looks like he’s gearing up to make more noises, Nile shoves at his arm with a laugh to get him to stop. Nicky blinks and focuses back on the room at large, hoping his face isn’t as red as it feels. 

“So, they’re good?” Nicky asks everyone, but his eyes flick to Andy at the end of his sentence, wanting to hear her opinion. Of course, Andy is the last to offer her opinion. 

“Nicky, these might be the best things I’ve ever tasted. You could-” Nile takes another bite and swallows, and Nicky waits, amused. “You could quit teaching and open a bakery. Seriously!” Nicky laughs but thanks her for her compliment, smiling when Nile tacks on a reassurance. 

Booker grips his shoulder as he tells Nicky that he did a good job, and the gesture is so _fatherly_ that Nicky is reminded of his own Papà and has to look away from Booker. Quynh tells Nicky that they’re delicious and takes another piece of baklava with a thumbs up, and Joe smiles at Nicky while he chews, mouth closed, and tells Nicky he would die for another piece if he had to. Nicky blushes under all the attention and compliments, but he focuses and turns to Andy to hear her thoughts. 

Andy finishes whatever she’s chewing and bounces her hand with the remaining piece of baklava, looking at Nicky. “These are good. Thank you, for bringing them in.” 

“You’re welcome.” Nicky says, pride swelling in his chest at Andy’s approval. 

“What’s the occasion?” Andy asks, still eyeing Nicky, but as each second passes, it feels less appraising and more...appreciative, maybe. Nicky still can’t figure out how she’s feeling from her expressions, like he can with Nile and Joe. 

“Oh, I just- I wanted to thank all of you for being so welcoming.” Nicky fumbles over his words at first, not entirely sure what to say, but when he finds his footing, it’s easy to finish his thought, finding truth in it. “You didn’t have to be, but it means a lot to me and I, uh, appreciate it.” 

Nile puts a hand over her heart and  _ awws _ , tells Nicky, “Oh, of course! You really didn’t have to do this, but it’s very sweet.” Everyone agrees with Nile, telling Nicky he didn’t  _ have  _ to make them anything for being so nice, but they love the treats anyways. 

Quynh gives Nicky two thumbs up behind Andy’s back before she and Andy leave, each of them swiping another piece of baklava on their way out. Nicky smiles at her discreetly, figuring it went well with Andy, but appreciating her take on the situation too. Joe says he has to make it to the elementary school building before the bell rings so he has to go now, and Booker ends up leaving with him. Nile and Nicky walk to the third floor together, Nile asking after the recipe Nicky used and Nicky telling her he’ll bring a copy of it with him to work tomorrow. 

When Nicky is finally settled in his classroom and greeting his students as they filter in, he’s finally able to reflect on the morning. He’s so  _ happy _ that it went well, that everyone liked his baklava and that Andy seemed willing to trust him a little more.  _ Things are starting to look up _ , Nicky thinks, even though they were never bad in the first place. 

~~~

Nicky soon understands that while Joe, Booker, Andy, Quynh, and Nile are certainly work friends, they are also  _ real  _ friends who share interests outside of work. 

By the end of his first month, he’s heard Joe and Nile talking about going to the city to see a new exhibit at the art museum (Nile and Joe had been looking over the layout of the museum, planning which other exhibits were high priority to them); he’s walked in on more than a few chess games between Booker and Joe (where Nicky had been itching to help Joe, because while Joe is good at the game and can hold his own, Nicky saw moves that would have ensured Joe’s win a few moves earlier); after school ended he’d seen Andy and Joe kicking around a soccer ball in the lobby (a scene that Copley walked in on a minute after Nicky, but all he had done was shake his head and make them promise not to break anything this time); he’s seen Quynh and Booker in an intense scrabble match that had spread to another board (they each seemed to be playing in a different language, which they only noticed when Nicky said something about it, but that fact was only shrugged off); had stumbled upon Quynh and Nile’s Arabic tutoring session (which Nicky later learned was occasionally accompanied by Joe, which made his chest tighten with something soft); he walked into a heated argument between Andy and Booker that had made Nicky turn around and leave immediately (the argument was about Andy sending a picture she had taken of Booker’s son on her phone, an old flip phone, and Andy didn’t know how to send it and Booker was doing a poor job explaining how to send it); and he’d seen Nile and Andy discussing boys while swiping through Tinder (Andy thought Nile should raise her standards, but Nile insisted that her standards were _perfectly_ _fine_ , Andy just had it too good with Quynh for the last six years).

Point being, Nicky is not surprised to see the five of them sitting together at a table during a staff development meeting, but he can admit that he is a little surprised when Joe waves him over to sit with them. Nicky watches as a smile breaks out on Joe’s face and he raises his hand above his head, and Nicky takes the empty seat next to Joe. Everyone says hello to him, but then they go back to their previous conversations, Quynh and Andy, and Booker and Nile talking. Joe turns to Nicky, and Nicky is struck dumb by how close Joe is to him right now. 

“So, are you ready for your first staff development meeting? They can get pretty wild.” Joe asks him, clearly joking, waving around a packet of papers to show just how  _ wild  _ it can get. 

“Oh, yes, I can hardly wait for the…” Nicky flips to the outline of the meeting, checking what they were going to be doing, “collaborative curriculum development. I don’t know how I can contain my excitement any longer.”

“That’s actually pretty fun.” Joe is suddenly serious, flipping open Nicky’s packet to the section on collaborative curriculum development. Joe is suddenly very close to Nicky, his shoulders very much in Nicky’s personal space, but Nicky doesn’t really mind. Nicky pulls his chair closer to the table, getting even closer to Joe, getting a whiff of Joe’s cologne. Joe’s eyes quickly shift away from the packet to Nicky, but in the next second his focus is back on the packet. “We pair up and discuss what we teach and our lesson plans. It’s supposed to help us create new teaching material and stuff like that.” 

“That does sound interesting. Does it work?” Nicky asks, elaborating when Joe raises an eyebrow at him. “Do teachers actually use the new ideas and suggestions that come from this? When people discuss things they believe in and are passionate about, they only get more devoted to their ideas.”

“That idea wasn’t really developed to be applied to staff development exercises.” Joe says. Nicky thinks Joe is holding back a smile, but he can’t be entirely sure.

“You are avoiding my question.” Nicky knows he is successful in hiding his smile, but he also knows his eyes are betraying him. From the look on Joe’s face, Joe has also noticed that fact. 

Joe rolls his eyes, finally breaking. Nicky doesn’t think he’ll ever get over how beautiful Joe looks when he smiles, how his whole face lights up when he’s happy. “Fine, in general, it doesn’t really change anything about how we teach. I’m one of the only people who like the exercise.” 

Nicky wants to know why Joe likes it so much, what is so special about this exercise that it remains something Joe enjoys while everyone else doesn’t get anything out of it, but Copley walks to the front of the room and calls for their attention. Joe leans back in his chair and out of Nicky’s personal space, and Nicky leans back in his chair too, taking a deep breath and focusing on Copley. Nicky forces all thoughts of Joe and his shoulders and his smile out of his head as he listens to Copley go over what they’re going to be doing today. 

“Today's staff development meeting will be focused on collaboration. There is more information in your packet, but some of the main events are focused on curriculums, our teaching methods, and relationships across different departments. I know not everyone likes these meetings,” Nicky’s attention is drawn from Copley by Booker, who murmurs “you can say that again”, which has Andy stifling a laugh, “but I believe they are productive and a good way to show our students that we are also willing to learn new things.” 

“Okay, now everyone pair up and begin with the activity on page two. I’ll let you all know when it’s time for a change.” 

Joe turns to Nicky before he even has a second to worry about who he is going to pair up with, a hopeful look on his face. “Do you want to work together?”

“Yeah, that would be fun.” Nicky bites his lower lip to hide his smile, but this time, he’s afraid it isn’t working. Nicky is excited to work with Joe, desperate to hear his thoughts on every exercise, eager to watch him move and talk. Nicky is also feeling very satisfied with how quickly Joe asked to work with Nicky, how he seemed to really want to pair up with Nicky. Joe smiles when Nicky agrees to pair up with him, and he’s about to turn fully toward Nicky, when Booker lets out an offended noise next to Joe. 

Joe rolls his eyes, tells Nicky “Give me a minute, please”, before he turns in his chair and faces Booker. “We always do these things together. Maybe it’ll be good for you to branch out, talk to more of your coworkers.”

“Exactly _ , _ we always work together, so I think we should stick to that tradition.” Booker gets another offended look on his face, like he’s only just now processing the second part of what Joe said. “Also, I don’t  _ want _ to talk to anyone else that works here. I’ve been avoiding them for ten years for a reason.” 

Joe throws his hands up, exasperated with Booker’s stubbornness. Nicky catches Nile’s eye over Booker’s shoulder, and she raises her eyebrows in a  _ what are you gonna do about it  _ way. Andy and Quynh have already paired off, and if Nicky had to guess, he would say they were definitely  _ not  _ talking about workplace collaboration. No one looks that happy talking to their wife about work on a Thursday at 3:45 pm. 

“Booker and I can work together, it’s alright.” Nile offers, and Joe looks like he could kiss her from how happy he looks at the offer. 

“Yes, thank you, Nile. Booker, problem solved?” Joe asks, but it doesn’t really sound like he’s asking. Booker looks like he’s about to say something else, but then Joe gives him a  _ look _ that Booker seems to understand fully, his eyes widening and a shocked, happy grin overtaking his face. 

“ _ Later _ ” Joe says quickly in French, one of the only words in French Nicky still remembers from school. Booker rolls his eyes but agrees, turning to Nile and getting started. 

Joe turns back to Nicky, and Nicky has many questions about what he just witnessed, but Joe just opens his packet and asks Nicky if he wants to go first. “Uh, yeah I can go first. Is everything okay with you and Booker? I don’t want to cause any problems-”

“No! No, you’re not causing any problems, I promise.” Joe waves away his worries, literally, and Nicky feels a weight leave his shoulders. Nicky wouldn’t want to get between Joe and Booker, who are obviously very close. “Booker is like my brother, but he’s-” Joe brings his voice down to a whisper, hoping Booker won’t hear him, and Nicky uses that as an excuse to lean closer to Joe again, “he’s so stuck in his ways sometimes. It’s good for him to shake up his routine a little bit.” 

Nicky nods, understanding as well as he can without really knowing Booker. “I understand. I have a younger sister, and I was always trying to push her out of her comfort zone too. I know it’s not really the same, but…” Nicky trails off with a shrug, flipping open his packet to start. 

“You have a younger sister?” Joe sounds a little strained, but when Nicky looks up at him, he looks fine, normal. 

“Yeah.” Nicky says slowly, narrowing his eyes at Joe in confusion. “Alessa. She’s twenty-five, she lives in Rome now.” 

“Did you not grow up in Rome?” Joe fiddles with his packet as he asks his question, but the strained quality in his voice is gone. 

“No, I grew up in Genoa, it’s about five hours north of Rome. It’s right on the water, very beautiful.” Nicky sighs, remembering the sunrises and sunsets he’s seen, the colorful buildings lining the streets, walking through the outside of the  _ Palazzo Reale, _ the lighthouse lit up at night. 

“Ah, that’s nice.” Their conversation stalls out a little, and Nicky could just start with the exercises they’re supposed to be doing, but Joe seemed interested in his life, so Nicky feels like he should reciprocate that interest. Nicky would also be lying if he said he didn’t want to know more about Joe, about his life, his past. 

“Did you- did you grow up around here?” 

Joe blinks at Nicky, but when he registers Nicky’s question, he looks happy that Nicky asked him something. “No. I grew up in New Jersey, it’s like two hours away from here.”

“Is it nice there?” Nicky scrunches his face up after the words leave his mouth, not meaning for his question to come out like that. Of course Joe thinks his hometown is nice, he spent his childhood there and likely has many pleasant memories there. “Or- I mean, I’ve just never been there or heard anything about it. Sorry.” 

Joe looks deeply amused, and not offended, so Nicky thinks it’s alright. Nicky quickly looks down at the tight pull of Joe’s lower lip in his smile, wondering how everything about Joe could be so lovely. “It’s really nice. There are a lot of lakes and forests around my house, so my Baba, Mama, and I used to spend a lot of weekends there. It’s peaceful, but not too far from major cities when we wanted to do something different.” 

Joe gets a soft smile on his face, thinking about his hometown and his family and his childhood memories. Nicky forgets about what they’re supposed to be working on, forgets about the packet and everyone else talking around him, and can only see Joe. Joe, who pushes his packet away from him, seemingly abandoning their work; Joe, who has always spoken with a deep appreciation of every experience he’s ever had. Joe, who is staring at Nicky, probably waiting for him to say something else. Right. 

Nicky says the first thing that comes to his mind, so that Joe doesn’t think he was lost in thought just looking at him (even though that’s exactly what happened), is “Do you have any siblings?” Nicky is dangerously aware that these questions resemble what someone might ask on a first date getting to know someone, boring as they may be, but the question was lingering in the back of his mind from earlier. 

“No, just me. My Mama never wanted to have more than one kid, and I don’t think my Baba did either.” Joe laughs, thinking of a memory before he shares it with Nicky. “It worked out in the end, since my Mama- she designed our house, and every time, she only made plans with two bedrooms.” 

“She  _ designed _ your house?” Nicky asks, surprised. He’s never known someone to do that before, it’s not really a thing his parent’s friends did. 

“Oh, yeah, my Mama is an architectural engineer, so she knows how to do all that. She tells the story like it was this big dream of hers to design her own house and make a space that’s her own, but my Baba insists she was bored in class and started drawing her plans.” 

“Which story do you believe?” Nicky knows he and Joe aren’t going to get any work done in this meeting, and Nicky does feel a little guilty about that, but not enough to redirect their conversation to work. Their current conversation was too good, too interesting to pass up. 

Joe laughs, not having to think long before he answers. “Both of them. It is important for my Mama to create a space that she can call her’s, but I also know she gets bored way too easily. She probably had a good idea when she was spaced out in a lecture.” 

“She must be very passionate about her work, if even her daydreams are about designing homes.” Nicky knows he loves his job, loves teaching and working with kids, but when he’s daydreaming, his daydreams definitely don’t entail him making lesson plans or grading exams. 

“Oh, yeah, she loves it.” Joe has turned his body to fully face Nicky during the course of their conversation, and Nicky takes a second to realize that at some point, he mirrored Joe’s position. Nicky’s body is facing Joe, the arms of their chairs separating them a few inches. Nicky doesn’t know when they got so close. “She doesn’t get to design as much as she would like now, she works more on making sure the building is practical and can actually stand, but she still loves it.”

“What do your parents do?” Joe asks him, not really giving Nicky any time to come up with something new to say. Nicky understands the certain look on Joe’s face now, when Nicky had asked him where he grew up. Nicky likes Joe asking him questions too, likes the idea that Joe wants to know more about him. 

“Oh, my Mamma is a biology teacher and my Papà is an accountant.” Nicky shrugs, pointing out something that seems obvious enough. “And now I am a statistics teacher.” 

“I think it’s cute, that you sorta followed in each of their footsteps.” Nicky feels the flush on his face grow before he’s even fully registered that Joe called him cute. Well, maybe not  _ him,  _ not directly, but Nicky doesn’t have any rational thought leftover to make sense of it. Now that Nicky is aware of how they’re sitting, he’s noticed Joe leaning closer and closer to him, so Nicky’s been getting hit with Joe’s cologne periodically, and at one point Nicky was locked in on the freckle on Joe’s nose. It’s just  _ a lot _ , and Nicky can’t decide whether he should focus on Joe himself or his words. Joe doesn’t even think twice about the word choice, just keeps talking, like he isn’t making Nicky’s brain explode. “You must look up to them, admire them a lot.” 

“I do, yes.” Nicky says softly. Nicky searches Joe’s face, wants to know how he always seems to know the right things to say, how he always seems to see right through Nicky. Joe stares back at him with his big, brown eyes, and Nicky is gone, if he wasn’t already before. 

Copley saves Nicky from any more staring or saying something embarrassing by walking to the front of the room and asks for their attention. “Okay, guys, great work with the first exercise.” Nicky winces, remembering how he did nothing but talk to Joe for the first exercise. “Move onto the next one, which should be comparing curriculums across departments.” 

Joe turns back to Nicky with an embarrassed smile on his face, and Nicky returns the smile. “I guess we should actually do the exercise this time.” Joe says, finally opening his packet all the way. 

“Yes, especially considering it is your favorite.” Nicky says, watching as Joe smiles at Nicky’s comment. Nicky lets a little smile grow on his face as he flips through his own packet, pleased that Joe is happy that Nicky remembered his favorite exercise. 

Nicky and Joe work together for the rest of the meeting, talking through their curriculums and how different departments could have better relationships with each other. Nicky likes Joe’s ideas, likes how he’s really invested in the idea of related departments coming together and making sure they aren’t teaching the same things twice. Nicky thinks Joe likes the ideas he suggests, thinks his smile means he believes Nicky has good ideas and isn’t making a fool of himself. 

By the end of the meeting, Nicky decides he has never been happier after a staff meeting. Joe tells Nicky he really liked hearing his ideas, that he liked talking to him about this. Before Nicky can respond, before he can tell Joe how much he enjoyed talking to him too, Booker jumps out of his chair and practically drags Joe from his own chair and out the door. Nicky watches the exchange play out with wide eyes, watches as Joe gets his feet under him and quickly waves goodbye to Nicky before he turns back to Booker. Nicky hears Booker say “Oh my God,  _ Joe _ -” before they’re both out the door. 

“Hey, Nicky.” Nile says, getting his attention away from Joe. Nicky turns, sees Nile, Andy, and Quynh standing together, Quynh’s arm wrapped around Andy’s waist. “We usually get something to eat after this, do you wanna come?”

“Oh,” Nicky says, surprised at the offer. Nicky would by not call them strangers, but he didn’t know they were at the point of being coworkers who get food together. The more he thinks about it, though, the more he reflects on the past month and how much he’s interacted with each of them, he might consider them...friends. Work friends, probably, but still, it’s nice. “Yeah, that would be fun. Thank you.” 

“Oh, perfect! C’mon we’ll all walk to the parking lot together.” Nile says, swinging her arm around Nicky’s shoulders and leading them toward the parking lot. Quynh and Andy walk in front of them, Quynh’s arm still wrapped around Andy’s waist, Andy leaning into Quynh’s arm. Nicky overhears them talking about their weekend plans, how they can’t decide if they should go to the cabin in the mountains or if they should go to the beach one last time before it gets too cold. Andy makes a suggestive comment about seeing Quynh in her bikini that Nicky and Nile pretend to not hear, and not for the first time, Nicky wonders how they can take such nice trips on a teacher’s salary. 

“We usually go to this diner a few streets over, if that’s alright?” Nile asks him, and Nicky is quick to reassure her that that’s perfectly fine. “It’s the Four Brothers Diner, have you been there?” Nicky shakes his head at her question, he’s seen the diner when he’s driving but he’s never been inside it. “It’s this little hole in the wall place, so don’t let the outside appearance make you suspicious. It’s so good.” 

Andy turns around in Quynh’s arm, joining their conversation. Quynh drops her arm from around Andy’s waist so she can more easily talk to Nicky, but Andy just as quickly takes hold of Quynh’s hand to replace the loss. “Nicky, if I may make a suggestion?” 

  
“Yes, of course.” Andy has warmed up to Nicky after the baklava surprise, and probably because all of her other friends seem to like Nicky well enough, but Nicky still has this feeling like he has one last hurdle to pass before she’ll really start to trust him. Nicky is beginning to suspect that the last hurdle might be more easily passed through food. 

“Try the gyro, it’s probably the best thing I’ve ever had. They have this decades old, secret tzatziki sauce recipe that is just-” Andy apparently doesn’t have the words to describe how good it is, instead putting her hand next to her temple and making the explosion gesture. 

“That good, huh?” 

“It’s life changing. You’ll never want to eat another gyro after you try this one.” The sincerity in her eyes and the excitement in her voice makes Nicky believe her, makes Nicky really want to try the gyro. Nicky is about to tell Andy that he’ll take her up on her suggestion when Quynh voices her own opinion. 

“If  _ I  _ may make a suggestion, Nicky,” Quynh says, opening the double doors that lead to the parking lot. The four of them start walking toward the left side of the parking lot, and Nicky is going to tell them that his car is on the opposite side, but he stops himself. He can always just walk to his own car after they’re done talking. “Their breakfast foods are the best things on the menu. You can never go wrong with an omelet.” 

Andy shakes her head discreetly at Nicky, and Nicky stifles a laugh. “Yeah, but would you rather have the  _ best thing you’ve ever eaten _ , or something you can’t get wrong?” Andy directs her question to Nicky, and Nicky quickly glances at Nile, who is still walking next to Nicky, to gauge her reaction to all of this. She looks amused, a happy smile pulled to the side of her face, so Nicky figures this is a regular ‘fight’ Quynh and Andy have. 

“I think I’ll have to decide when we get there. I need more information before I make my decision.” Andy scoffs when Nicky answers, turning back to Quynh so the two of them can finish their debate, but she’s  _ smiling _ , so Nicky counts it as a win. Nile laughs next to him, amused by Nicky’s answer too. 

When the four of them are clearly approaching the car they’re taking, Nicky turns to Nile and says, “My car is on the other side, so I’ll just meet you all at the diner, okay?”

“No, you can ride with us if you want. We’ll drop you off at your car when we’re done, eating, yeah?” Nile says, standing next to the back door, waiting for Nicky to answer before she proceeds. Andy gets in the driver's seat and Quynh is in the passenger seat, so Nicky and Nile would be in the back. Nicky takes a moment to thank the universe for letting him fall into this group of people at work, for letting them be so open and kind. 

Nicky slides in the back seat with Nile, Nicky sitting behind Quynh and Nile sitting behind Andy. “Are Joe and Booker coming too?” Nicky asks as he buckles his seatbelt, because if he’s learned one thing while working with them, it’s that they’re all a package deal. 

“Yeah, Booker texted and said that they would meet us there. We all usually ride over together, so I don’t know what that’s about.” Quynh says, gently knocking away Andy’s hand that’s fiddling with the radio. Quynh mumbles to Andy “what do you want?”, and when Andy tells her a pop station for Nile, Quynh immediately changes the station for her. 

“Yeah, Booker rushed out of the meeting pretty fast with Joe, it was really weird.” Nile adds on, leaning forward in her seat to talk to Quynh more easily. “He didn’t even say goodbye before he basically pulled Joe out of his chair.” 

Nicky is reminded of the look Joe sent Booker at the start of the meeting, how delighted Booker appeared to be on the receiving end of that look. Whatever Joe wanted to discuss  _ later _ is probably what made Booker pull Joe out of the room so quickly, whatever the meaning was behind the look was probably very important to Booker. Nicky keeps these thoughts to himself, though, not wanting to create trouble where there isn’t any, when the only evidence is his suspicions and thoughts.

The four of them pull up to the diner and walk in and are immediately greeted by a man behind the breakfast counter. Nicky is introduced to the man, Earl, one of the owners of the diner, as he directs them to a large booth in the back of the diner. Andy and Quynh slide together to the middle of the booth, Nile sits next to Andy and Nicky sits next to Quynh, and when Joe and Booker get there, Booker sits next to Nile and Joe sits next to Nicky. 

Joe looks pleasantly surprised to see him, and when he makes a comment about how he wasn’t expecting to see Nicky here, Nicky tells him Nile invited him after the meeting ended. Nile and Booker are wrapped up in what appears to be a secret conversation, their heads tipped together so Nile could hear Booker’s whispers. When Earl comes back to take their order, Nicky ends up ordering the gyro, because it did sound good, which earns him an approving nod from Andy. Their dinner goes well, they eat and talk and make jokes about the meeting, and every time Joe’s thigh presses against his own, Nicky is stuck between wanting to freeze at the touch and press his own thigh back against Joe’s. Whenever Joe’s hand accidentally brushes Nicky’s, Nicky can only pray that he isn’t blushing too noticeably. A single touch shouldn’t be enough to make Nicky lose his ability to react normally, but as he looks over at Joe laughing at something Nile said, he’s reminded all over again why Joe has this effect on him. 

Nicky is so screwed.


	3. october

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you have any suggestions? I’m not very good at painting.” Nicky admits, looking over at Jess’ painting. Nicky thinks it looks like a cat mixed with a bird, the body of the cat being lifted by bird wings, and instead of having a nose, the cat’s face has a beak on it. Nicky likes it. 
> 
> “Mr. Joe says that it doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad, if the idea makes you happy, then you should put it on the paper.” Jess says, not even looking at Nicky as she speaks, entirely focused on mixing her red and white paint to make pink. Nicky thinks about how casually she said that, how often Joe must say that to his students to have it be her first response to Nicky. “He also says there is no such thing as bad art.” 
> 
> “Yeah, that does sound like Mr. Joe.” Nicky says, letting his fondness for Joe cloud his voice, since Joe is across the room and the kids surrounding him will never know. Nicky looks over at Joe, who is sitting at the little circle table. Nicky takes a second to appreciate how ridiculous Joe looks sitting at that little table, too big for the chair and table, his knees coming up above the edge of the table, before he realizes he’s probably in the exact same position.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nicky sees joe as a elementary art teacher and games are played successfully and others are played unsuccessfully   
> (cw for descriptions of blood in this chapter but i promise it's like a few lines and not graphic at all, but if i need to include a more significant warning pls lmk and i will do so)

**_October_ **

Nicky runs into Nile when he’s heading to his car during an off period to get some folders he left in his car that morning. Nicky is only planning on waving to her and saying hi, but at the stressed look on her face and her hurried pace, Nicky stops her and asks what’s wrong. 

“It’s these field trip forms I have to deal with.” Nile raises her hands a little, showing Nicky the two folders she’s carrying, full of papers. “I totally forgot about them and I told Joe I would have them to him by this morning, but I just have so much going on today.” 

Nicky has about a thousand questions, mainly about why Joe and Nile would plan a field trip together, but he keeps them to himself, deciding they probably wouldn’t be appreciated when Nile is already this stressed. “I can drop them off for you if you want?” I have a free period right now.” 

“Oh, Nicky you are such a life saver right now.” Nile says, handing Nicky the folders quickly. “Joe is in the elementary school building this period, have you been over there yet?” 

“No, I haven’t been there.” Nicky says, hoping it doesn’t come out as weakly as it sounds to his own ears. Nicky has no real reason to go to the elementary school building, but in addition to that, Nicky isn’t sure his heart could survive seeing Joe teaching art to little kids. His crush on Joe is already bad enough, he doesn’t need the image of Joe helping a kid with their project burned into his mind forever. 

“Alright, well, his room is on the left side of the building, four doors down on the right side of the hallway.” Nile says, already walking away from Nicky in a hurry. Nicky nods to let her know he heard her, processing the fact that he is about to see something that will change him forever. (And yes, maybe Nicky is being a little dramatic, but Joe can’t become any more perfect in his mind, his heart just couldn’t take it.) “I owe you one, Nicky, thanks again!”

“Yeah, of course.” Nicky takes a deep breath and walks downstairs, making his way to the elementary school building. During the walk over, Nicky convinces himself that it won’t be that bad to see Joe with little kids, it won’t be that bad to see Joe be gentle the way you only can be with little kids, it won’t be that bad to see Joe’s elementary school art classroom and all the little kid’s cute art.  _ You are a grown man,  _ Nicky tells himself as he approaches Joe’s door,  _ you can handle seeing your crush at work, performing his entirely too cute job. It’s going to be fine. _

Nicky gets to Joe’s classroom, and just stands in his doorway when he sees the chaos happening in front of him. Joe’s elementary art room is set up similar to his high school art room, except instead of stools at many large tables, there are little chairs for the kids at one long table. The walls here are also covered in student art, but this art is mostly finger paintings, water color paintings, and drawings done with markers that can’t help but smile at. Nicky spots approximately twenty kids covered in paint, giggling and screaming and talking over each other to get their ideas out. They look happy, more than content to be making a mess of themselves and their tables with paint. 

Nicky scans the room for Joe, and when he doesn’t see him, Nicky steps further into the classroom, looking for him more seriously. Nicky still doesn’t see Joe, so Nicky walks across the room and puts the folders down on the back counter, the only clean surface left in the classroom. Nicky is worried that Joe isn’t in his classroom, that Joe just left his students alone in his classroom, especially since these kids can’t be older than eight years old. Nicky guesses they’re in the second grade, at most. 

One of the kids finally sees him, a little red headed girl sitting at the head of the table to his right. She waves her little hand at Nicky, and Nicky smiles at her and gets down to her level so she can talk to him more easily. “Hi! Do you want to see my art? I’m Emma.” 

“Hi Emma, I’m Nicky. I would love to see your art.” Nicky says, looking at the paper she pushes in his direction. Nicky stops the paper just in time to prevent it from sliding fully off the table and takes in her art. It looks like it’s supposed to be a color wheel, like there was once an outline printed on the paper for her to fill in with the correct colors. It’s messy and confusing in the way all art by little kids is, but Nicky would rather chop off his own arm than tell her that. “It’s beautiful, Emma. You did a great job with this.” 

“What about mine?” The boy next to Emma suddenly asks, holding up his own color wheel for Nicky to judge. “Is mine beautiful too?”

“Oh, of course. Your art is just as beautiful as Emma’s, great job.” Nicky tells the boy, and soon enough all the kids have seen him and want his opinions on their color wheels. Nicky tells each of them that their art is beautiful and that they’re all very talented, that they show great promise as artists. When they seem satisfied with his compliments, they go back to their talking and painting and ignore Nicky. 

“Uh, Emma.” Nicky asks, since she’s closest to him and the only name he knows. Emma turns to him, only half listening to him, her attention mostly on her art. “Where is your teacher? Joe?”

“Mr. Joe went in the back closet right before you got here. He said we should yell or come get him if we need any help at all.” Emma says, and Nicky barely stops himself from closing his eyes and taking a deep breath at hearing Emma call Joe  _ Mr. Joe _ . Nicky was right to be hesitant to come here, he hasn’t even seen Joe yet and he’s already affected by this, he’ll never recover from hearing a student call Joe Mr. Joe. Emma points to the back of the classroom, a corner that Nicky didn’t notice in his search for Joe, that has a door that’s propped open with a chair. 

“Thank you, Emma.” Nicky says, pushing on the table to help himself stand. Nicky leaves the folders on the counter, promising himself that he will just find Joe and tell him that he dropped off the field trip papers for Nile, and then ask all his questions later. Nicky walks to the back closet and peaks his head in the opening door way, immediately seeing Joe on the top rung of a step ladder, reaching for something on a crowded top shelf. Nicky takes a moment to just look, to watch the long stretch of Joe’s torso and his arms, watch as the muscles in his arms shift as he tries and fails to grab whatever he’s trying to reach. It should be impossible for one man to look so good, for one man to have the arm muscles of a god but the heart of a saint, but here Joe is. When Nicky is able to pull his eyes away, he gently taps his knuckles on the door, getting Joe’s attention. 

Joe’s head snaps to Nicky, concern clouding his eyes that immediately clears when he sees it’s Nicky and not one of his students. Joe smiles at him, beautiful and shining as always, and Nicky doesn’t know how much more he can take. “Nicky! What’s going on?”

“I’m here to drop the field trip stuff off for Nile. She’s having a stressful day.” Joe accepts Nicky’s explanation with a nod, turning his attention back to his shelf. 

“Yeah, she has some deadline to meet today that lined up horribly with the field trip deadline.” Joe is vaguely distracted as he talks to Nicky, his words coming out slow in a way they usually aren’t. Joe still hasn’t found what he’s looking for, and the more he moves to look for it, the more his shirt rides up on his hips, and Nicky forces his eyes back to Joe’s face. “I told her not to worry about it, but she insisted we still get them in today.” 

“Well, I left the folders on your counter. It was the only clean space left in your classroom.” Nicky is going to take this as his exit, tell Joe he has things to do so he should really get going, but Joe finds what he was looking for, a giant bottle of blue paint, with a little cheer. Joe climbs off his ladder and gestures for Nicky to follow him out of the closet, so Nicky walks with him. 

“Yeah, I’d apologize for the mess, but it always looks like this. Especially when we do painting projects.” Joe says, now moving around his classroom to give the kids more blue paint. Joe is just pouring the paint directly onto their little paint palettes, but the kids practically light up when they see him again. They all yell “Mr. Joe!” at the same time, making Joe smile wide enough to show his eye crinkles. All his students hold up their color wheels, wanting Joe’s approval and praise, and Nicky watches as Joe goes to each student and gives them a unique compliment, whether it be about how well they mixed their colors, how they did a good job of staying in the lines, or how he liked their  _ creativity  _ when some of their art was looking a little chaotic. 

The kids look so pleased and excited after Joe tells them that he likes their work, which only seems to make Joe smile more, and Nicky should have trusted his gut, should have known that his heart wouldn’t be able to handle seeing this. The scene in front of him might be worse than hearing Emma call Joe Mr. Joe, with Joe being so obviously thoughtful and caring. The kids obviously look up to Joe, and Joe obviously loves his students, and Nicky could not be more obviously having a breakdown because Joe is just so  _ sweet _ and  _ lovely _ . 

“Did you guys get a chance to talk to Mr. Nicky?” Joe asks his students, gesturing for Nicky to come stand with him in the front of the classroom. Nicky walks over in a daze, not realizing he just stopped walking while Joe was talking to his students. “He teaches math to the big kids in the front building.” 

“Mr. Nicky told us our art was beautiful and that we were all great artists!” one boy says, and then the rest of them agree with the boy and tell Joe that Nicky complimented their art too. 

“Did he?” Joe asks, turning toward Nicky. Joe has this happy look on his face, but it’s different than the happy look he had when he was talking to his students. Joe is more fond, Nicky thinks (hopes), as he looks at Nicky. 

Nicky feels a little, embarrassed smile grow on his face. It’s not like it was supposed to be a secret from Joe, but at the same time, Nicky never thought he would find out. “Well, they are very talented. You never told me you had famous painters in your class, Mr. Joe.” 

Joe’s cheeks darken like he’s blushing, like Nicky had secretly hoped it would after he called Joe Mr. Joe, but Joe moves on like it isn’t a big deal. “I don’t like to brag, you know? Not everyone can have students like mine.” 

At this point, none of Joe’s students are listening to them or even paying them any attention, wrapped up again in their color wheels and playing with the paint. Joe gives Nicky one last smile before he turns and grabs the folders from Nile, flipping through the papers. Nicky takes the moment to get himself together, focuses instead on Joe’s hands instead of how good he is with kids. (It’s not a great trade off for his focus, but Nicky can’t be picky right now.)

“Nile said you’re going on a field trip together?” Nicky asks, too curious to wait any longer to know what type of field trip they’re planning together. 

“Uh, yeah, I take my seniors to the college art gallery nearby, just so they can see what that’s like.” Joe says, still flipping through the papers, stopping every so often to check something over. “I invite Nile every year, since she has an interest in art and enjoys it a lot.” 

“Oh, that sounds like fun.” Nicky doesn’t have any real interest in art, but he thinks that if he walked around an art gallery with Joe, he would like what he saw. “What’s the gallery showing now?”

“Just whatever the students have ready at this point. It’s still pretty early in the semester for them.” Joe’s finally done looking through the papers, so he does a quick scan around the room to check on his students, but then he gives his full attention to Nicky. Nicky opens his mouth to say something,  _ anything _ , because he can’t handle Joe looking at him with his big brown eyes, and he’s not really sure what he’s going to say even as he opens his mouth, but something crashes into his leg that makes him let out a whispered “ _ Cazzo.”  _

Nicky only has a second to be grateful that he swore in Italian before his leg buckles just enough for him to need to lean against the back counter. Joe’s hand grabs onto Nicky’s bicep to help him, eyes searching his face to make sure Nicky’s alright. Nicky’s skin lights up where Joe’s touching him, even through his shirt, and Nicky so desperately wants to lean into the contact, but he refrains. Joe’s eyes are still wide, but this time they’re clearly clouded with worry. “You okay?”

“Yes, I’m okay. Don’t worry.” Nicky stands up fully, realizing it wasn’t really that bad. It looks like one of Joe’s students either ran or fell into his leg, if the girl’s apologetic face is anything to go by. Nicky leans down to talk to the girl, wanting to make sure that she’s okay. She isn’t crying or holding any part of her body like she’s in pain, but Nicky still wants to be sure. “Hey, are you alright?”

The girl nods, clumsily pushing her curly hair out of her face. “I’m sorry Mr. Nicky! I tripped on my chair getting up. I hope your leg feels okay.” 

“No, don’t worry about that at all. My leg doesn’t hurt at all.” Nicky makes sure his face is open and gentle, not wanting to make her feel guilty at all. Nicky shakes his leg a little, showing her that his leg doesn’t hurt at all. “See? Totally fine.” 

The girl giggles a little, worry gone from her face. “Good. What does cazzo mean?” 

Nicky’s eyes widen, remembering suddenly that he did swear in front of a group of eight year olds. He hasn’t worked with little kids in so long, and while it’s cute and fun and rewarding, he forgot how careful he had to be around them. “Um _ \-  _ it’s, it’s a word only adults say. It means…” Nicky stumbles over his words, can’t think of a single word to give the girl, so he looks to Joe for help. Joe has a dazed look on his face, just looking at Nicky and his student with a little smile on his face. 

Joe blinks, realizing Nicky needs his help. “Hello. It’s a way for adults to say hi to each other.” Joe blurts out, then winces, realizing how weird that sounded, but it was too late to take it back. Joe shakes his head at Nicky’s poorly hidden smile, turns his full attention to his student. “Did you need help with something, Alia?”

“I wanted to give you this.” Alia says, holding out her color wheel for Joe to take with a proud smile. “I made it for you, Mr. Joe.” 

“Oh, Alia, thank you.” Joe says, taking the color wheel from Alia so gently, so carefully that Nicky believes for a moment that it’s breakable. Joe stares at the color wheel like it’s his most treasured possession, like he would do everything humanly possible to keep it safe. Something in Nicky’s chest cracks seeing Joe like that, seeing his expression so soft and gentle, seeing him look at the art like nothing else mattered to him. Nicky knew Joe worked with kids and had to do it well, but  _ seeing _ Joe so gentle is completely different than assuming that’s how he acted with his students. “It’s one of the best color wheels I have ever seen. I’ll put it on the wall after our class is over, okay?”

Alia smiles and runs back to her seat, not listening to Joe when he tells her to walk instead of run. Nicky watches as Joe gently stares at the color wheel for a second more before he puts it down on the back counter, close to the field trip folders. Even when Alia wasn’t around, Joe treasured her art, and the sincerity breaks Nicky even more. He was right,  _ so right _ , to assume that he wouldn’t be able to handle seeing Joe with his students. Nicky feels like every emotion is written across his face, his every interest and want and feelings for Joe visible to everyone, especially Joe. 

Nicky needs to focus, he needs to pull himself together so he can continue on with his day. It takes Nicky a minute to remember what he was doing before he ran into Nile in the hallway, but after he remembers, he’s determined to make it to his car for his folders. He’ll make it at some point, probably, because in the few moments that Nicky was stuck in his own head, Joe had left him at the counter to deal with a crisis one of his students was having. Nicky glances to his right (where the distressing noise is coming from), where Joe and the boy who is having a crisis are sitting. 

Nicky hadn’t noticed until now, but while the left side of Joe’s classroom was for the student table and shelving and supply closets, there is a small corner on the right side of the classroom that is obviously meant for the students. There is a little circle table with two chairs, and next to the table is a shelf full of coloring books, white construction paper, crayons, markers, model clay, and play-doh.  _ It must be a relaxing area for the kids _ , Nicky thinks, all the supplies are meant to be tools to help the students focus and process their emotions better by making something. 

The boy is crying steadily, sucking in huge breaths that are doing nothing for him. The boy tries to speak, but he keeps cutting himself off, his chest heaving every time he tries to talk. “I-I-I- I worked so hard on it! Now it’s covered in the paint, Mr. Joe.” The boy waves his color wheel on Joe’s face, now covered in a spill of red paint, flinging faint flicks of red paint on Joe and on the walls. Joe either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care about the paint.

Nicky’s heart breaks at the sight of the boy so upset by his ruined project; all Nicky wants to do is go to him and fix it for him, wants to get him a new printout and paints and let him start over right away to put a smile on his face. But that’s obviously not what would be helpful at this exact moment, since the boy is still very upset, and Joe is better equipped to handle it because that’s his student, he has a connection there that Nicky doesn’t have. 

“I know, Danny, I’m so sorry about your color wheel, and I promise we’ll fix it, but right now…” Joe gently trails off, slowly taking the color wheel from Danny and putting it on the circle table, still visible to the boy but not in his direct line of sight. Joe is kneeling on one knee in front of the boy, making sure they’re eye level while he helps him. “Right now, can we focus on our breathing? Watch me, okay, and try and copy what I do.” 

Nicky watches as Joe takes a deep breath with his hand held out in front of him with all of his fingers raised, and as he takes his deep breath, he puts down a finger until he has four fingers down. Nicky watches as Joe repeats that process while he’s holding his breath and exhaling, helping the boy regulate his breathing by keeping a constant pace for each step of the process. Nicky thinks about leaving, ducking out of Joe’s classroom quietly while he deals with his student, but something tugs in Nicky’s gut and tells him to stay, to wait for Joe to be finished and then make his exit. 

Nicky feels like he’s invading when he watches Joe calm Danny down, and he figures the boy wouldn’t like to have a stranger staring in his direction while he’s upset, so Nicky directs his attention to the left side of the classroom, to the student table. All the students are basically done with their color wheels, so now they’re just playing with the leftover paint and using leftover paper to paint whatever they want. Nicky inches closer to their table, curious about what they’re painting during their free time. 

Someone is painting what Nicky assumes is their family at their house, each family member standing together in front of their house with a smile; Nicky spots a painting of a purple dog with large, blue spots covering its body; there’s a painting of a park that has trees with very circular tops and skinny trunks, the sky and the grass blending in an interesting way; someone else is doing a finger painting that is spreading to their shirt sleeves. 

Nicky quickly glances over to Joe and Danny, and while he’s got his breathing back under control, he doesn’t look any less upset. Joe is trying to make him understand that he can get him another color wheel paper, he can get him as many as he wants and Danny can spend the rest of class painting if he wants, or he can play with any of the toys at the table. Danny looks confused for a second, and then he carefully asks Joe if he can do both, if he can make another color wheel  _ and _ stay at the little table and play with the modeling clay, and Joe reassures Danny that he absolutely can have both. Joe gets Danny set up with the clay before he grabs another color wheel from his desk and an extra paint tray from the long table (taking a brief pause to tell his other students what a great job they’re doing, how he can’t wait to see all their new paintings), before he brings them to Danny. 

A little voice breaks him out of his observations, and Nicky searches the table until he finds who spoke to him. “Mr. Nicky, do you want to paint with us? We’re all supposed to be practicing our sharing.” It’s a little girl with brown hair and big eyes, practically taking up her whole face. 

“Sure, that sounds fun.” Nicky says, but secretly, he doesn’t know how much fun it will be. The table is covered in paint, the chairs are all meant to be used by little kids so they’re entirely too small for him, and he’s not a very good artist so he isn’t really sure what he’s going to paint. Nicky keeps all that to himself though, and smiles at the little girl as he pulls up a chair next to her. “What’s your name?” 

“Jessica, but everyone calls me Jess.” she says, passing Nicky a piece of paper and a paintbrush. Nicky thanks her, thinking of what to paint, thinking of something that will be easy for him to complete. 

“What are you going to paint?” Jess asks him, and Nicky shrugs at her with a funny look on his face, which makes her smile. Nicky is happy working with his juniors and seniors, likes working with students who are barely-almost-adults, but there is something to be said about the joy that comes from working with little kids, with their careless joy and their big smiles and their wonky teeth and enthusiasm toward everything. It’s a different kind of rewarding working with little kids versus high school kids, when you make a little kid smile by doing something silly but make a high school student smile by helping them understand something. 

“Do you have any suggestions? I’m not very good at painting.” Nicky admits, looking over at Jess’ painting. Nicky thinks it looks like a cat mixed with a bird, the body of the cat being lifted by bird wings, and instead of having a nose, the cat’s face has a beak on it. Nicky likes it. 

“Mr. Joe says that it doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad, if the idea makes you happy, then you should put it on the paper.” Jess says, not even looking at Nicky as she speaks, entirely focused on mixing her red and white paint to make pink. Nicky thinks about how casually she said that, how often Joe must say that to his students to have it be her first response to Nicky. “He also says there is no such thing as bad art.” 

“Yeah, that does sound like Mr. Joe.” Nicky says, letting his fondness for Joe cloud his voice, since Joe is across the room and the kids surrounding him will never know. Nicky looks over at Joe, who is sitting across from Danny at the little circle table, stretching and loosening the clay for him. Nicky takes a second to appreciate how ridiculous (cute) Joe looks sitting at that little table, too big for the chair and table, his knees coming up above the edge of the table, before he realizes he’s probably in the exact same position. Nicky bites his lip to keep his smile at bay at the sight of Joe sitting with his student, forced to use too small furniture. 

As if he can feel Nicky looking at him and talking about him, Joe looks up and catches Nicky staring at him, making Nicky drop his lower lip from between his teeth, his mouth falling open slightly. Joe blinks slowly at him and Nicky blushes at being caught, briefly thinks about immediately looking away but decides against it. Nicky’s breath catches in his throat, a reaction to being caught staring and because he has all of Joe’s attention at that moment. 

Joe’s eyes scan over what he’s doing and where he’s sitting, and a wide smile breaks out on his face when he realizes that Nicky is painting with his students. Joe raises an eyebrow at Nicky, silenting asking what he’s doing, but Nicky just shrugs with a playful smile on his face, holding up his empty paper. Joe hasn’t stopped smiling at Nicky, and Nicky can’t stop smiling at Joe either, like they’re in their own positive feedback loop where all they can do is make each other smile, all that they’re allowed to do is look at each other like fools (and isn’t  _ that _ something to think about later.) Nicky takes his eyes off Joe for a second, overwhelmed by Joe’s eyes and his smile, but quickly looks back to Joe again, wanting to know if Joe is still looking at him. He is.

“But you should paint a shark. I love them.”

Nicky blinks and inhales sharply, finally looking away from Joe to focus on Jess. Jess, who just offered him a suggestion for his painting, who answered his question from what feels like hours ago. “A shark? That’s a good idea.” 

Nicky listens to Jess talk about her favorite types of sharks and her favorite shark facts for a few minutes, staring intensely at his paper and focusing on painting a good outline of his shark. Nicky isn’t sure what type of shark it’s supposed to be exactly, but it’s definitely one of the bigger ones (Jess suggest to Nicky that it’s a cow shark because of the slope of the shark’s back, and Nicky takes her word for it). Nicky doesn’t think about why he’s suddenly so focused and dedicated to his shark painting, he already knows why, he just focuses on painting his shark and talking to Jess.

Nicky does eventually finish his painting, quickly glancing around to see where Joe is. Joe is at the other end of the long table, talking to a group of students, not paying Nicky any attention. Nicky thanks Jess for all her help with his painting and for her shark facts, and Jess tells him it’s no problem, and that he should put his painting on the drying rack by Joe’s desk if he wants to leave it here to dry. 

Nicky slowly gets up from his chair, walking over to Joe’s desk and finding the drying rack. Nicky looks down at his painting, at his oddly shaped shark swimming in a dark blue ocean, and feels like it’s not enough to just leave it on the drying rack. Nicky did write his initials on the pack of the paper, at Jess’ suggestion, but to just leave the painting on the drying rack doesn’t feel right to Nicky. 

Nicky has an idea, and before he can second guess himself, he steps behind Joe’s desk and puts his painting on the desk. Nicky puts it in the top corner, a place where it won’t be in the way of any of Joe’s things but will also be impossible to miss. Nicky picks up a pad of sticky-notes from Joe’s desk, quickly scribbling a note to Joe, writing what comes to his mind and sticking it next to his painting. 

_ Joe, _

_ Your students have incredible talent and imaginations, and I can only imagine where they get that from. Sorry for leaving without saying goodbye, but I had to get to my class. I hope your field trip with Nile is fun.  _

_ -Nicky _

Nicky doesn’t really know what time it is, if he actually needs to leave so he can get back to his building for his next class, but Nicky can only imagine he spent a lot of time in Joe’s classroom, too much time for him to go to his car and get his folders like he wanted to. Nicky quietly slips out the door, careful not to catch Joe’s eye and distract him from his students, not wanting to take any more of their attention from Joe. 

Once Nicky is in the clear and walking down the hallway, he groans loudly and presses his hands against the side of his face, trying to compose himself before the next class period starts. Nicky decides a walk to his car might be a good thing for him to do before next period, so Nicky quickly makes his way to his car and gets the folders. Nicky tells himself to stay focused on his job and his lesson plan, that he can spiral about Joe being cute with kids later, but he feels like he won’t be able to keep that promise to himself. 

~~~

Nicky avoids Joe’s classroom after that, not sure his heart could take anything more for a little while. But he doesn’t avoid Joe, doesn’t think his heart could take that for entirely different reasons, which is how he finds himself in the nurses office with Joe in late October, Joe gently wiping dirt and blood from his face. 

Joe had been sitting with Nicky in Nicky’s classroom, during what was supposed to be his office hours but had turned into a time for him to grade quizzes and review his lesson plans. Joe joined him sometimes, would pull up a chair next to Nicky’s desk and open his little notebook and draw, and would quickly hide his drawings from Nicky whenever he tried to look at them. After the first time Joe pulled the sketchbook close to his chest to hide them from Nicky, he hadn’t truly tried to see what he was drawing, respecting Joe’s privacy, he just liked the way Joe blushed pretty when he was flustered. 

Joe and Nicky had been talking about nothing really, Nicky checking his emails and Joe still sketching his secret drawings, when Joe’s phone started to ring. Joe silenced it without looking at who was calling, continuing his conversation with Nicky about how he hated their new email set-up. Joe’s phone started ringing immediately after he silenced it, so he rolled his eyes and answered it after checking who was calling. 

“Hey, Andy. What’s going on?” Andy said something to Joe, and whatever it is made Joe look a little guilty, his mouth pulling to the side a little. “Oh, right. I’ll be down soon, sorry.” 

Joe told him that Andy and everyone else were outside, that they had all planned to play soccer since it was a weirdly nice day for October, they wanted to capitalize on it before winter fully set in. Nicky’s mood dropped a little, fully prepared to spend the rest of his office hours alone, when Joe lit up and invited Nicky to play with them. Nicky debated if he should leave his office hours early or not, and while he didn’t love the idea, he had to accept the fact that no one was going to come at this point. Nicky had accepted the offer, and if Nicky thought Joe was excited before, now he has to be ecstatic. 

Nicky and Joe made their way outside to the field behind the school, where two soccer nets sat opposite each other, everyone picking teams before Joe and Nicky got there. They’ve all found time to change into athletic clothes and sneakers, which Nicky didn’t have the advantage of, but he thinks he’ll be fine. He’s good at this, has missed playing a game with his friends to relax, so he’s excited more than he is worried. 

Andy and Quynh predictably pair up, and Nile and Booker pair up, but as soon as Joe and Nicky get to them, a debate starts over who will get Joe and who will get Nicky. Booker wants Joe but Nile wants Nicky on her team, so they rock-paper-scissors over it, and Joe ends up with Booker and Nile and Nicky ends up with Quynh and Andy. Andy tells them to expect no mercy; that for the next hour they aren’t friends, but rivals. Nicky eyes her suspiciously, but when Quynh only stares Booker, Nile, and Joe down along side Andy, Nicky finally understands that this isn’t a fun game among friends. This is serious, and Nicky feels like if he messes this up with Andy, he’ll never be forgiven. 

The game is going well for Booker, Nile, and Joe for a while, they’re three points ahead of Andy, Quynh, and Nicky, and Joe was thoroughly enjoying throwing that fact in their faces. Quynh says something back to him, something about how he hasn’t been the one to score any of those points so he should quiet down, and Andy wraps her in her arms and kisses her before she agrees with Quynh, that Joe should be quiet. 

(Joe  _ does _ end up scoring a goal at one point, and he looks  _ so good _ doing it, his thigh muscles flexed and his curls bouncing a little, his athletic shorts riding up slightly on his thighs, making it very difficult for Nicky to focus on the game. Joe scores, and he throws his arms up with a big smile, eyes instantly seeking out Nicky, and Nicky has a hard time rooting for him own team after that.)

The game took a turn when Booker’s phone started to ring and he  _ answered _ , to Nile and Joe’s frustration and disappointment. Booker just waved them off from his spot in the goal, yelling at them, “It’s my son, shut up!”, before he picked up the call. Andy looked very pleased with this development, made a quick attempt to steal the ball from Nile and score past Booker. She succeeded, Booker not really paying attention while he was talking on the phone with his son. 

Joe started yelling at him in French, and it sounded very different from their usual conversations in French, much less affectionate and very pissed off. Nicky didn’t understand a word of it, but Quynh seemed to, exhaling heavily through her mouth and taking the time to fix her hair. Andy takes a shot at getting Booker off the phone, yelling to him “Hey! You’re still in this shitty game with us!”, but Booker only shrugged at her. Booker largely ignored them, only pausing his conversation with his son to make some rude hand gestures at Joe, and Nile took this time as an opportunity to get the ball from the goal. 

Booker must not see Nile walking toward him, because Booker finds the ball himself and kicked it out of the goal, not really paying attention to where it traveled. Nile sidestepped just in time, but Nicky wasn’t so lucky, and the soccer ball hit him right in the face. Nicky stumbled a little, a hand reflexively going to his face, but it was too late. He heard his nose make a sickening  _ crunch _ noise, a little blood spilling from somewhere on his face, his nose or maybe his lip. He hopes it’s his lip. 

There’s a lot of swearing, some yelling, and then someone was touching him, guiding him to lean against the wall of the school building. Nicky kept his eyes closed for a little while longer, keeping his nausea at bay and maybe a little worried about seeing how much blood there was, but everyone was still yelling and swearing around him, and that wasn’t helping his spreading headache either. 

“Jesus fuck, Booker, did you not see him? How did you manage to get him right in the face?” Nicky thinks that’s Andy. 

“I just wasn’t paying attention, Andy! Jean-Pierre was checking who was picking him up today and I didn’t want him to worry, and you were all yelling at me about the game, so I just kicked it, and--” Booker was rambling, probably worried about Nicky and feeling bad about hitting Nicky right in the face. Nicky wasn’t mad at him, he knows it was an accident, and he’ll tell Booker that, eventually. After he makes him sweat a little. 

“Guys, guys, c’mon! He doesn’t look so good-- he’s bleeding and he looks kind of pale. We should bring him inside.” That’s Nile, and Nicky has to remember to thank her later for keeping everyone on track.

“Yeah, okay, okay. We- we should bring him to the nurses office, she’ll know how to fix him.”  _ That’s _ Joe, Nicky knows for certain, would never be able to miss his voice. 

Nicky slowly blinked his eyes open, wincing at the sunlight that hits his eyes, and he has a passing thought that he should get checked for a concussion. Nicky picked up a hand to shield his eyes from the sun, wanting to tell them that he was  _ fine _ and that they didn’t need to worry, but Joe catches his movement and is all over him in a second. 

“Hey, Nicky” Joe said, and Nicky practically melts at how soft Joe’s voice was, how gently he said his name. Joe’s eyes are wild, concerned and darting all over Nicky’s face way too fast. “Are you alright? We’re gonna have you checked out by the nurse, okay?”

Nicky grumbles something that must have sounded like a yes to them, because soon enough, Joe and Quynh are helping him stand up straight, each of them supporting a little of his weight. Nicky could probably stand on his own, could definitely walk on his own, but the extra support is nice. Quynh is deceptively strong, holding onto Nicky’s waist with a grip he would have assumed was Joe’s if he didn’t know better. “I don’t need the school nurse, alright? I just need a tissue for the blood, I’m fine.” 

“Tell me that in English this time and I’ll believe you.” Quynh said, her expression betraying the sarcasm of her words. Now that Nicky could fully see her face, it’s obvious she’s worried, she’s concerned about Nicky’s face and probably head. Nicky hadn’t realized he was speaking in Italian, and the little “ _ Fuck _ ” he lets out amused Quynh, if her little laugh was anything to go by. 

They get him to the nurses office, and Nicky would have loved to take the time to think about and appreciate Joe’s hand on his back, occasionally tightening on his shirt, but Nicky doesn’t have the strength to focus on that right now. Maybe he’ll be able to remember it later. 

Joe pushed open the door to the nurses office, and when he calls for one of the nurses and no one comes out, he sighs. He turns around, takes one look at Nicky, and immediately looks away from him and addresses Quynh. “Can you guys go look for any of the nurses? They have to be here somewhere if they left the door unlocked. I’ll stay with Nicky.” 

The use of  _ guys _ has Nicky confused, has him seriously worried about a concussion now. Nicky turned around in Quynh’s arm and sees that Booker, Nile, and Andy followed them to the nurses office. Nicky hadn’t even noticed them following him, hadn’t heard them say anything on their walk to the nurses office. They all leave after Joe’s request, though, giving Joe a little nod and Nicky a warm look before they leave. 

That’s how Nicky finds himself with Joe in the nurses office, Nicky sitting on one of the beds in the back of the office, his head tipped back against the wall, and Joe sitting next to him, gently wiping the blood and dirt from the soccer ball off his face. Nicky feels better now, feels less dizzy after sitting down for a little bit, but his head  _ hurts _ , feels like the kind of headache that’s going to hang around for weeks. 

“You shouldn’t have your head tipped back like that. In case your nose starts to bleed again.” Joe whispers, because for some he can’t speak at a normal volume right now. 

“It won’t bleed again. My nose isn’t broken.” Nicky says, but he leans away from the wall all the same. Nicky feels like he would know what a broken nose felt like, and his nose doesn’t hurt  _ that  _ bad. It’s just a little sore. Nicky sees Joe relax a little when Nicky leans forward, feels bad for worrying Joe, and tells himself that he’s going to be a model patient from now on. Joe doesn’t have to be doing this, but he is. 

“Thank you for taking care of me.” Nicky whispers, because apparently it’s him who can’t speak at a normal volume now. It’s just...it’s a lot to thank Joe for wiping blood and dirt off his face, with Joe sitting so close to him and occasionally touching Nicky’s face gently. 

“Of course.” Joe says, like it’s a given that he would do this for Nicky. Joe gently takes Nicky’s chin between his fingers and slowly turns Nicky’s head, giving him plenty of time to figure out what Joe is doing. Nicky’s breath catches in his throat, his skin hot where Joe touches him, even though he saw the touch coming. Joe has never touched him this much. 

Joe had already cleaned up the right side of his face, and now he wants to see the left side. Nicky turns his head with Joe’s hand, closing his eyes when that puts the light right in his eyes. “Sorry.” Joe whispers, standing up to block the light in Nicky’s face. “Is that better?”

Nicky opens his eyes, the light completely blocked and Joe the only thing in his line of sight. Nicky looks up at him from under his eyelashes, tracking Joe’s worried look on his face, his mouth set in a frown and his eyes sad, to his clearly tense shoulders. He doesn’t need to worry so much, Nicky is fine. It’s just a little blood. 

“Yes, thank you.” Nicky says, watching as Joe brings the wipe up to his face. Joe cleans up the left side of his face with the wipe, and with his other hand he keeps Nicky’s face still. Joe has his other hand resting on Nicky’s face, his palm covering Nicky’s cheek, his fingers over Nicky’s ear, and his thumb resting where Nicky’s jaw meets his neck. Nicky has to consciously tell himself  _ not  _ to lean into the touch, not to press his cheek further into Joe’s palm. Joe’s hand is so  _ warm _ , and so big, and it’s driving Nicky crazy to have all this contact and not be able to do anything about it. 

It’s getting harder and harder to not lean into Joe’s hand the longer Joe wipes at his face, and if Nicky  _ were  _ to gently lean into Joe’s palm, he could always blame it on the soccer ball to the face. Nicky looks away from Joe’s face to Joe’s chest, what’s more eye level for him while he’s sitting down, but instantly regret it. Joe is wearing this long sleeve, dark blue,  _ tight _ , athletic shirt that is pulling across his chest just right. Nicky thinks the shirt can’t be pulled any tighter than it is, feels his mouth drop open a little the longer he stares. It’s just- just- it’s so  _ tight _ , and Nicky would never because he believes in boundaries, but he wants to reach out and touch Joe’s chest. (Nicky blames that on the soccer ball to the face too.)

Nicky closes his eyes, thinking that the lack of sight might help him get a grip. It doesn’t. With his eyes closed, he’s forced to focus on the one thing he can sense, Joe’s hand still warm on his face and Joe’s fingertips gently brushing across his face with the wipe. It’s wonderful and it’s terrible. 

Joe pulls his hand with the wipe away from Nicky’s face, but he keeps his open hand on Nicky’s face. “Sorry about this.” Joe says suddenly, and before Nicky can open his eyes and ask what Joe is apologizing for, Joe is pinching his nose. Nicky lets out a noise he will never acknowledge and a few swears, but Joe just apologizes again and tells him his nose isn’t broken, it’s probably just going to be sore for a little bit. 

“Okay.” Nicky says, still sitting down, Joe still standing in front of Nicky, his hand still on Nicky’s face. Nicky doesn’t know when Joe started to, but Nicky suddenly notices Joe’s thumb rubbing back and forth on Nicky’s neck, and Nicky isn’t even sure if Joe knows he’s doing it. It feels like an unconscious movement, something you would do to reassure someone that they’re okay. Nicky holds his breath, wondering what Joe will do next, maybe even opens his legs a little, just to see if Joe will step closer to him. 

Joe does step a little closer Nicky, not as close as Nicky would have liked, but  _ closer _ . Nicky’s heart is doing something funny in his chest, beating so fast that Nicky is convinced Joe can hear it. “I was worried about you. You-- there was a lot of blood at first.” 

“Oh.” Nicky says, blinks a little as he processes it. Nicky had known Joe was worried, it was written in every line of his face and his body, how he was so attentive to Nicky when he was cleaning his face, but he never thought he would hear Joe say it. Nicky takes a chance and brings one of his hands up to Joe’s wrist, the one still holding Nicky’s face, and gently wraps his hand around Joe’s wrist, awkward angle be damned. Nicky’s thumb ends up resting on the inside of Joe’s wrist, feeling his pulse, and Nicky tells himself that Joe’s slightly higher than normal pulse is because he was worried about Nicky. 

“I’m okay. It’s just a headache and a sore face at this point.” Nicky says, looking directly at Joe, not looking away from his eyes even though Nicky can’t deal with how Joe is looking at him right now. It shouldn’t be possible for Joe’s eyes to be any softer, for the brown of his eyes to get any prettier, for the ever present sparkle in his eyes to get brighter, and yet… “I promise, Joe.” 

Joe takes a deep breath and nods, accepting Nicky’s words. Joe’s eyes flick over his face quickly, and he opens his mouth to say something, but he hesitates, like he’s not sure if he should say it.  _ What is it? _ , Nicky thinks,  _ tell me, you can tell me.  _

Nicky will never know what Joe wanted to say, because when it looks like Joe is about to finally say something, Nicky’s phone vibrates a few times in a row. Nicky groans and takes his hand off Joe’s wrist, reaches for his phone, shooting Joe an apologetic look. Joe drops his hand from Nicky’s face with an understanding nod, and Nicky instantly misses the warmth. 

The texts are from his sister, and Nicky could scream with how bad her timing is. Nicky hopes it’s an emergency of some kind, something worthy of interrupting Joe, then immediately feels bad for hoping that. Nicky just sighs and opens the texts, taking a deep breath when he reads them. 

_ hey nico _

_ how was your day? _

_ we haven’t talked in a while, can i call you tonight _

Nicky’s guilt builds ten fold, acknowledging the truth in Alessa’s words. It has been a little while since they talked, probably a few weeks, but that’s a while for them. It’s been tricky, with Nicky’s job and Alessa’s job and their time difference, but Nicky isn’t going to let any of that stop him from calling her tonight. He’ll ruin his morning tomorrow and make his headache worse if she wants to talk to him tonight. To ease his guilt, he shares the events of the game with her, knowing it would make her laugh. 

_ I got hit in the face with a soccer ball today  _

_ Yes we can talk tonight, I would like that  _

Alessa’s texts come in instantly, like she was waiting at her phone for Nicky to respond. 

_ HAHA _

_ sorry i shouldn’t be laughing  _

_ how is your face? _

_ at least now you can get that nose job you always wanted  _

_ are you okay though  _

Nicky has never wanted a nose job in his entire life, but Alessa likes to forget that fact when she’s making fun of Nicky. 

_ Don’t be jealous just because you never had a reason to justify getting one yourself _

_ Yes, I’m fine thank you for your concern  _

Alessa tells him that she has to go but that she’ll call him later tonight, that she wants all the details of how he got hit with a soccer ball. Nicky promises her the full story, tells her he loves her before he locks his phone and puts it to the side. Nicky didn’t notice he had a smile on his face until he isn’t looking at his phone anymore, until he isn’t talking to his sister anymore. Joe has  _ definitely  _ noticed his smile, looking at him curious. 

“It was my sister. I just haven’t talked to her in a while and she wants to talk tonight.” 

The nurse comes in eventually and checks him for a concussion, but she says he doesn’t have one and he’ll be fine if he just takes it easy tonight. Booker comes up to Nicky and apologizes, tells him it was an accident and he never meant for Nicky to get hurt. Nicky just looks at him, keeps his promise to himself about letting Booker sweat for a little bit, and when Booker looks on the verge of  _ too tense _ , Nicky cracks and tells him it’s fine, he knows it was an accident. Booker rolls his eyes but looks relieved that Nicky isn’t mad at him, and everyone else lets out a collective sigh when they realize Nicky is okay enough for teasing Booker. 

Andy steps forward first, a pleased smile on her face, and suddenly grips the back of Nicky’s neck and pulls Nicky’s head forward a little. It’s clearly affectionate, friendly. Nicky is surprised at first, since this is the most Andy has ever touched him, the clearest he’s been able to see her care for him. Not that he hasn’t seen it before, because by now he knows that Andy likes him, but it’s never been so obvious from a simple glance to her face. Nicky gives Andy his own little smile in return, and she grips the back of Nicky’s neck one more time before she steps away. 

It’s like the awkward barrier keeping everyone away from Nicky falls away after Andy stepped forward, so Nicky is soon getting hugs from Nile and Quynh, each of them telling Nicky how relieved they are, how Nicky was so out of it at first and how there was  _ so much  _ blood, and Nicky reassures them both that he’s fine. Nicky catches Joe’s eye over the top of Quynh’s head and smiles at him, and Joe lets out a heavy breath and smiles back, relieved. 

~~~

“Take your time, see the whole board. And relax your shoulders, you’re so tense.” 

“I’m taking your rook.” Joe moves his own peace and takes the rook, putting the piece down next to the board with a little slam. Nicky’s eyes are locked in on his fingers, how he holds the rook between his index and middle fingers and switches the pieces seamlessly. “And I’m never watching your kids on a Saturday night ever again.” 

Nicky is in the library with his students for an Excel assignment, getting his students familiar with how to use the statistics in Excel. Nicky had done his little presentation on the assignment and how to do it on the projector, the kids set up at the student desktops in the library, but once Nicky was done with his presentation and answered all their questions, he had felt awkward just hovering over them. Nicky knew kids didn’t like it when their teachers hovered over their shoulders or walked around looking at their assignments while they worked, and Nicky didn’t like it either, but then he had seen Joe walk into the library. Joe, who was apparently here for his weekly chess match with Booker. Nicky choose to sit with Booker and Joe, telling his students to call for him if they need any help at all. 

“Joe’s kind of a sore loser, Nicky.” Booker gives Nicky a little smile, clearly teasing Joe and not worried about the threat. Booker moves his pawn, and Joe scans the board, looking for his next move. “And he takes our chess games way too seriously.”

“I am not a sore loser. I just like it better when I win.” Joe mumbles, distracted, sticking his hand out to make a move and then pulling it back quickly, second guessing himself. Nicky bites his lower lip, keeping his suggestions to himself. He doesn’t know if joe would want his help, and Nicky is a patient guy, so he can wait. 

“That’s literally the definition of a sore loser. Nicky, tell him.” Booker looks to Nicky for help, but Nicky chooses to ignore him. Nicky’s patience can only last so long, though, and he doesn’t know how much more biting his lower lip can endure. Joe is good, he’s a good chess player and would be completely fine without Nicky, but Nicky is just itching to help, to get in the game with Joe. (And if Nicky wants Joe to win more than he wants Booker to win, that’s something he can keep to himself.) 

“You need to protect your queen.” Nicky says, pulling a chair next to Joe, not able to keep his thoughts to himself any longer. Joe makes a vague humming noise, acknowledging Nicky but still mostly focused on the board. “He’s, like, six moves away from winning.”

_ That _ gets Joe’s attention, his head snapping up to look at Nicky with wide eyes, and then at Booker with an grin on his face. 

“Traitor!” Booker yells, earning a few flares from the students in the library. “You can’t cheat, that’s not fair.” 

“Now who’s taking the game too seriously?” Nicky says, making a move for Joe while Joe laughs at Booker. Now Booker is eight moves from winning, but Nicky isn’t going to let that happen. 

“How did you know he was six moves from winning?” Joe asks him while Booker looks at the board for his next move. Booker isn’t listening to them, but Nicky is still protective of his methods, so he pushes his chair back from the table, gesturing for Joe to do the same. 

“I just see it on the board.” Nicky says, nodding his head over to Booker. “I think about all the moves he can make, and then I pick the best move he could make at the time, and then I just...play out the game. In my mind.” 

“That’s... not really an answer, Nicky.” Joe narrows his eyes at Nicky, probably suspicious of Nicky’s answer. Joe is right, Nicky thinks, it’s not really an answer, but Nicky doesn’t know how else to verbalize how he knew. 

“It’s the only way I know how to explain it.” Nicky says, watching Booker. Booker makes the move Nicky suspected he’d make, opening up a number of possibilities for Joe. “It’s how my Mamma taught me.” 

“Oh.” Joe looks over at Nicky, searching his face. “Did you play a lot with her?”

“Yeah, we would play almost every weekend. Mamma had to teach my Papà how to play when Alessa was old enough so our games would be even.” Nicky laughs at the memory, how Papà would get so distracted by Mamma that he would lose too often, how Mamma would get frustrated with not having a fair game. 

Joe nudges his shoulder, bringing Nicky out of his memory. Nicky brings his focus back to the present, back to Joe’s shoulder resting comfortably on Nicky’s. “One of your students wants your attention.”

Nicky looks over to the computers quickly, instantly spotting one girl raising and waving her hand wildly, and another girl sitting next to her looking embarrassed. Nicky knows they’re friends, they sit next to each other in class and talk a lot, and one is certainly more confident than the other. The more confident girl, Jenna, nudges her quiet friend, Vanessa, and Nicky quickly understands what’s going on. 

“Mr. di Genova? I’m sorry, I have a question.” Vanessa says, looking like she wants the floor to swallow her whole. 

“Of course, don’t apologize. I’ll be right over.” Nicky tells her, standing up from his chair quickly. Before he leaves, he turns back to Joe and whispers, “Take his bishop. The one on the left.” Joe nods, biting back a smile as Nicky leaves. 

As Nicky walks over to Vanessa and the computers, he hears Booker ask Joe “What did he say to you?” but Joe only hums dismissively at Booker. 

“Sorry I wasn’t paying attention. How can I help you?” Nicky asks, making sure Vanessa doesn’t feel bad for pulling him away from the chess game and asking a question. 

“No, it’s fine. I’m just a little confused about the t-tests on Excel because there are two of them and I don’t know which one to pick.” Vanessa rushes out her question, like the faster she speaks the faster she’ll get over her embarrassment of being unsure. 

“Okay, that’s no problem.” Nicky says, pulling up a chair next to her. “So there is more than one equation for t-tests in Excel, and since we only do Independent t-tests, we want to use this one.” Nicky points to the correct equation for Vanessa to plug her data into, waiting until she finishes to explain more. “The other one is for paired sample t-tests, which we aren’t worried about in this class. Does that make sense?” 

“Yeah, thank you.” Vanessa nods along with her answer, but she’s still staring at the computer with a vaguely blank look on her face, like she doesn’t know what to do next. 

“Do you have any other questions?” 

“Um, uh.” Nicky waits as Vanessa gathers herself to ask another question or to tell Nicky that she’s fine. She scratches at her neck a little before continuing. Nicky wishes that he could make her believe that it isn’t bad to ask questions, it isn’t bad to be confused about something. “I don’t remember what the Array boxes are meant to be used for.” 

“Those are just used to mark which data set is which. So Array1 is for the first data set you have, and Array2 is for the second data set you have.” 

Vanessa clicks on her Excel sheet and assigns the data set to an Array, but checks with Nicky before she finishes it. “It doesn’t matter which data set is one or two, right?”

“No, it doesn’t matter. Just make sure you remember which data set you mark as one and which one you mark as two.”

“Right, that makes sense.” Vanessa says distractedly, clicking around on the computer, and this time she looks more confident, less confused. “Thank you, Mr. di Genova. I get it now.”

“Good, call me over if you have any more questions.” Nicky says, walking away and planning to make a round through all the computers to see if anyone else had any questions. “And remember, I’m only grading this for completion, so don’t stress over it too much.”

Nicky leaves Vanessa with a little smile, listening as her friend Jenna tells her, “See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

None of Nicky’s students have any big questions for him as he walks around the computers, just little questions like how he wants this assignment submitted and how they should save it. Since none of them have any questions, Nicky walks back to Joe and Booker, curious how the game progressed in his absence. 

Nicky takes his seat next to Joe, and while Joe doesn’t turn to him when he sits down, he does share good news with Nicky. “I’m gonna win, Nicky. See?”

Nicky  _ does _ see, sees it very clearly. Joe’s got a piece ready to check Booker’s king, and he’s got two pieces protecting the checking piece, so no matter what Booker does, he’s going to lose. Nicky feels a swell of pride in his chest that Joe is going to win, that Joe sounded so proud of himself for winning. 

“I do see. Congratulations.” 

Booker is stalling, if Nicky had to take a guess. He knows he can’t win, but he doesn’t want to admit that, so he’s just going to sit and pretend to contemplate a move to waste time. Joe seems to be in on Booker’s plan too, if his unimpressed look is anything to go by. 

“If you don’t make a move in the next thirty seconds, I’m gonna tell your kids about New York, 2018.” Joe says, and Nicky doesn’t know the context of the story, but it sure sounds like a threat. Something embarrassing must have happened in New York, something that Joe looks all too happy to be remembering and holding over Booker. 

Booker looks a little worried, but not too worried. Like he also has an embarrassing story of Joe to threaten him with. “If you do that, I’ll tell Jean-Pierre what happened at the science fair in 2017.” 

Joe does looks spooked by that, admittedly, and Nicky has to ask. “What happened at the science fair?”

“Nothing-“

“Joe broke some girls robot that Jean-Pierre was excited to see do whatever it did. Then he skipped out on our lunch plans to go on a date with Dr. Sam.” Booker makes a pouty face, exaggerated and slightly off putting, and Nicky has a feeling this isn’t going to end well. Nicky also wants to know who Dr. Sam is, if it was a serious thing or if he’s still in the picture or what he looked like-. “Imagine what Jean-Pierre will think of his favorite Uncle Joe when he hears all that.”

Joe turns to Nicky with a wild look in his eyes, ready to defend himself. “She was  _ such _ a mean kid, Nicky. You know those kids who you know, deep down, are basically evil? That was her.” Joe looks a little regretful of what happened, even if he stands by his opinion of the girl. “I didn’t even mean to break her robot, either. It just...happened.”

Nicky nods with his eyes closed for a moment, understanding. Joe looks relieved that Nicky isn’t judging him for breaking some girls robot or for calling her evil. Nicky doesn’t like to admit it, but sometimes...kids can be evil. And Nicky trusts Joe’s judgement. 

Booker and Joe stare at each other for a little bit, seeing who is going to break first. Nicky knows they’re basically brothers, so Nicky also knows that neither one of them is going to break first. Nicky still has some questions, and if they don’t make one of them make a move, at least he’ll have answers. 

“What happened in New York in 2018?”

Booker moves a piece before Nicky even finishes his question, making Joe cackle a little bit while he wins the game. “That’s a story for another time, Nicky.” 

Nicky huffs but accepts Booker’s answer. Nicky feels like asking about Dr. Sam would be weird and too obvious and  _ weird _ , so he keeps his mouth shut even though he wants to know more. It’s not any of his business, and if Joe wanted him to know, he would have included it in his explanation. 

Nicky focuses on Joe, who looks so happy that he won, who can’t stop smiling at Nicky and at the board. Booker suddenly remembers that he lost and packs up the game, telling Joe not to expect this to become a frequent thing. 

“I couldn’t have done it without you, Nicky.”

“You give me too much credit.” Nicky shakes his head, wanting Joe to know that Nicky believes he could have won on his own. “You’re good, you could have easily won the game without me.” 

“Now you’re giving me too much credit.” Joe says, still smiling at Nicky, but it’s a smaller smile now, one meant for just him and Joe, not one meant for Booker over winning the game. Nicky feels his own smile soften in response, only for Joe.


	4. november

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I got you, I got you. You okay?” Joe whispers. They’re so close, Nicky in a position to do nothing except stare into Joe’s eyes, his charming, delightful, sparkling eyes, and Nicky feels the breath get knocked out of him for a reason unrelated to his fall. Nicky’s mouth falls open as he just stares at Joe, watches his eyes and catalogues his freckles and the little scars by his temple and loving how his curls are almost brushing Nicky’s forehead from how close their faces are. Joe has this cautious smile on his face, like he’s not letting himself smile how he wants until he knows Nicky is okay, and Nicky blinks when he remembers Joe asked him a question. 
> 
> “Sì, I’m okay.” Nicky whispers as Joe slowly lifts Nicky so they’re both standing, Joe’s eyes not leaving Nicky the entire time. Joe’s arms are so solid around him, so warm and secure, and Nicky physically aches when Joe lets him go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> teachers conference and spirit week stuff in this chapter!!! 
> 
> also huge thanks to @ashleyrguillory for letting me use their sweater art drawing as inspiration for a scene in this chapter!! [here is the link for the art!](https://ashleyrguillory.tumblr.com/post/631101328472571905/you-know-those-wit-knits-sweaters-that-go-around)
> 
> (cw for mentions of homophobia from very very minor characters that we don't hear from again in this, only brought up for 3 paragraphs max. if i need to up the warning on this too pls let me know)

**_November_ **

Nicky is introduced to the concept of spirit week by Nile, and through his confusion she explains to him that it’s essentially a week where each day has a theme for the students and the teachers, where they dress up as part of the theme. Nicky is sceptical at first, since he doesn’t know many high school kids who would follow along with the themes  _ and  _ come to school in a costume, but Nile assures him that the students do get dressed up. 

Nile and Nicky are walking upstairs to their classrooms, and during her explanation, she had taken a poster for the spirit week off the wall and handed it to Nicky. Nicky scans the poster as Nile talks, reading what each day of the week was associated with. “It’s fun, Nicky. You should do it with us.” 

“Us?” Nicky asks. Spirit week starts in two weeks, so there’s plenty of time for him to get clothes and costumes ready. Monday is a celebrity look alike day, Tuesday is sweaters day, Wednesday is decades day, Thursday is sports teams, and Friday is class years, so students are supposed to wear their class t-shirts and teachers are encouraged to wear their college apparel. 

“Yeah, me, Andy, Quynh, Booker, and Joe. We usually try and coordinate our outfits and plans.” 

Nicky thinks about it, thinks about dressing up with them and having fun with his costumes, thinks about his students reactions too. “Okay, I’ll do it. Where do you usually go to buy all this stuff?”

Nile shakes her head, finishing her sip of coffee before she speaks. “No, we’ll all go together. Me and Joe are going to get sweaters after work, you can come with us.” 

Nicky nods quickly, accepting Nile’s offer because without her, he may pick something boring and not exciting enough for spirit week. “Okay, thank you. I’ll meet you guys downstairs later?” 

Later being 3:45, when office hours are officially over and Nicky gets to leave work. Nicky meets Nile in the downstairs lobby, and Booker is there too. When Nicky asks him if he’s coming with them, Booker tells him no, that he’s just waiting for his wife to drop his son off here so the two of them could go shop for a school project together. Joe walks into the lobby at the same time Booker’s son walks into the lobby, and it’s Booker’s ten year old son, Jean-Pierre. 

The second Jean-Pierre sees Joe, he lets out a little scream and runs toward Joe, yelling out, “Uncle Joe! Watch out!” Joe drops his bag on the ground immediately and lowers himself so he’s at a good position to catch Jean-Pierre, his hands landing at his waist and swinging him into the air, Jean-Pierre giggling the whole time. 

“Oh, buddy, good to see you!” Joe says, setting Jean-Pierre back on his own two feet. “I hear you’re doing a project for school. What’s it about?”

Jean-Pierre stumbles over his words at first, too excited to tell Joe about his project to speak calmly. Joe waits patiently for him to calm down, for him to find his footing in his speech and explain his project, and Nicky takes that time to die a little bit inside. Nicky thought Joe with his elementary school students was bad, then this is  _ terrible _ . Joe is clearly family to this kid, called him  _ Uncle Joe _ , and obviously loves Jean-Pierre so much. It’s different, seeing Joe talk and play with a kid he obviously loves, a kid who he obviously views as part of his own family. Nicky can’t take his eyes off him, how he laughs at all of Jean-Pierre’s weird jokes, how he tells Jean-Pierre to call him when Booker drops all the glitter on the floor again, how he readily agrees to pick up and twirl Jean-Pierre again when he asks.

“What are you looking at like that?” Nile asks, coming up behind him and surprising him. Nile looks around the area Nicky was looking, and only seeing Joe and Jean-Pierre, her eyebrows scrunch together, confused. Nicky doesn’t know what expression was on his face, probably something hopeless and sappy, but it feels incriminating from how Nile is looking at him right now. 

“Nothing.” Nicky says quickly, probably too quickly. Nicky feels like Nile is already suspicious, though, she’s already working to figure it out. “Are we ready to go?” Nicky asks, hoping that will distract her enough to move on. Nicky should have known better. 

“No fucking way.” Nile says slowly, her eyes flicking back and forth between Joe and Nicky with a big grin on her face. Nicky shakes his head quickly, which basically just confirms her suspicions faster than if Nicky had just admitted it. “Holy shit, you like Joe?  _ You like Joe _ .” 

Nicky feels his blush spreading, embarrassed at being caught with a crush on Joe, one of Nile’s closest friends, and at the possibility of other people hearing Nile. Her voice was rising after each thing she said, her excitement making her voice raise in pitch. Nicky officially turns around all the way to face Nile and waves his hands a little to get her to quiet down. “Please,  _ please _ , can we not do this right now?”

Nile looks like she really wants to talk to Nicky about this now, like waiting any length of time would kill her, but she sighs and agrees. “Fine, but I really do need to talk to you about this. It’s important.” 

“Yes, we will talk later.” Nicky says, not sure if he intends to keep that promise, not sure if he’ll let it escape his memory that he said he would talk to Nile about this later. 

Thankfully, Joe walks up to them, flushed and smiling from playing with Jean-Pierre, and asks if they’re ready to head out. Nile ends up driving them to the store, Joe sitting in the passenger seat and Nicky sitting in the back seat, and Nicky isn’t really paying attention to where they’re going until they park, Joe’s story about a breakthrough he helped one of his juniors through today too interesting. 

Nile drove them to the mall, probably twenty minus out from the school, and Nicky feels like he should be at least a little concerned about how he got lost in Joe’s story and his voice for twenty minutes, but he decides to let it go. Nile links arms with Nicky as they walk through the mall, the two of them lead by Joe, who clearly has a specific store in mind. Neither of them will tell Nicky where they’re going, they say they want it to be a surprise, but it doesn’t matter in the end, because Nicky has never heard of the store when they get there. It looks like it’s meant for people five years younger than him and lifetimes more adventurous than him. Fashion wise, at least. 

Nile leaves the Nicky and Joe to look at women’s sweaters, but tells the both of them to call for her if they find anything she might like. Joe drags Nicky over to the same rack of sweaters, Joe taking one side and Nicky taking the other, and tells Nicky to show him anything he thinks Joe might like. Nicky has a hard time focusing at first, keeps sneaking glances at Joe across the clothes rack separating them, but then he makes himself stop and go through the sweaters. They’re not bad, but he feels like none of them are worthy of wearing to work for a themed day. Nile eventually comes back to them for a second with a sweater recommendation for Joe, a navy blue sweater with a rooster on it, thick white stripes surrounding thinner red stripes which enclose on a single yellow stripe on each of the sleeves. Joe seems to like it, hooks it around his wrist with a “Thank you, Nile.”

“You find anything good yet?” Joe asks him eventually, after they’ve both gone through the entire rack. 

Nicky sighs, looks at the two sweaters he grabbed, but isn’t feeling much toward them. Nicky is the first to say he likes his clothes to be plain and functional, but what he’s seen has just been… boring. “Not really. You?”

“I’m really liking the one Nile grabbed for me. What do you think?” Joe holds up the sweater to his chest, like a mother might do for their child before they’re old enough to judge for themselves if clothes fit them right. Nicky can’t help but smile as Joe fumbles with the hanger still on the sweater, moving it until it’s comfortably out of his face. When Joe looks at him expectantly, Nicky remembers he’s supposed to be offering his opinion. “I like it. I think the blue is a good color.”

Joe nods, pulls the sweater away from his chest to look it over again. “Yeah, I like the blue too. The rooster isn’t too bad either.” 

“Nicky, hey!” Nicky spins around to look for Nile, eventually finding her in the corner of the store, waving a sweater at Nicky over her shoulders. It’s a pink sweater with a bunch of little mice on it, and Nicky raises an eyebrow at it even though Nile can’t really see his expressions that well from where she is. “What do you think of this one? It’s perfect for you!”

“She thinks you’re a mouse, Nicky.” Joe says with a little grin, and Nicky gives Joe a  _ look _ over his shoulder that only makes Joe’s grin grow. Nicky thinks what Joe said is funny, which might be something he reveals to him later, but Nicky feels his casual pettiness rising and he’s pointing to Joe’s rooster sweater and speaking before he can stop himself. 

“I wonder what she thinks of you then?” 

Joe looks down at his sweater and then back up at Nicky, a shocked, but pleased, smile on his face. Joe lets out a laugh that Nicky will never be able to stop thinking about, a surprised scoff at first but quickly turns into a full, deep laugh, and Nicky walks back to Nile with his head ducked down slightly, a little smile on his face. 

Nicky gets to Nile and she immediately wags her finger at him. “Shame, shame, I know your name.” She’s got this teasing look on her face, and while Nicky can’t be one hundred percent sure what she means, the context clues are pretty strong for him to pick it up. He still chooses to pretend to not understand her meaning, though. 

Nicky sighs and takes the mouse sweater from her, looks it over more closely. The mice have one of three expressions on their faces, happy or surprised or sad, and it feels comfortable enough, so he hangs onto it. “I would hope you know my name, Nile. We work together.” 

Nile scoffs and rolls her eyes but lets him have that one. “What do you think? I think the pink would look good on you.” 

“Yeah, I do like the pink.” Nicky says, spotting another pink sweater on Nile’s arm. “Who is that one for?” 

“Oh, it’s for Booker.” Nile says, picking up the hot pink sweater and showing Nicky. It’s an oversized hot pink sweater with a white french poodle on it, and Nile looks very proud of that fact. “Get it? I think he’ll think it’s funny.” 

“Will he?” 

Nile shrugs, not willing to rethink her choice. “Maybe not, but he asked if I could pick out his sweater today because he’s busy, so he doesn’t really get a say. Plus, I think it’s really funny, so.” 

“Can’t argue with that.” Nicky says, looking back to his own pink sweater. It must be clear he’s debating it now, because Nile asks him if he doesn’t like it anymore, what changed his mind. 

“Don’t judge me for this, but…” Nicky says, watches Nile get a judge-y look on her face the longer Nicky hesitates. “I can’t match colors with Booker.” 

“Oh my God, that’s  _ it _ ? That’s ridiculous, Nicky.” Nile says, clearly exasperated and looking like she’s debating ever inviting Nicky on their sweater trip. 

Nicky puts the mouse sweater back, sadly. “It is what it is, Nile.” 

Nicky ends up buying a blue sweater with a thick red stripe across his chest, surrounded by a thin yellow line, with a yellow tiger inside the thick red line, and Nile buys a yellow off the shoulder sweater, thick pink line following the line of her collarbone and shoulders, a paint palette and paint brush on the body of the sweater for herself, and Joe keeps the rooster sweater. Nicky wonders what Quynh and Andy will wear, but figures a little surprise would be good considering he already knows what everyone else is wearing. 

(On Tuesday, Nicky will watch Quynh and Andy walk into the teachers lounge, holding hands, and wearing sweaters that Nicky never would have guessed. Quynh is wearing a black sweater with red, purple, blue stripes by the shoulders and around her chest, JAZZ spelt out in yellow block letters, and a white outline of a saxophone next to the letter Z; Andy is wearing a light green sweater with a pink middle, outlined in white, with the words ‘I’M A LUXURY…’ spelt out in all caps in the pink section. Nicky will listen as Andy fondly tells the story of their first theme week, how they each picked out these sweaters for each other and only revealed the sweaters the morning of. Quynh will tell the story of how they tried to do the same thing again the next year, but in the end, they couldn’t part with their original sweaters. Nicky will laugh when Andy walks out of the room and he sees that the back of her sweater reads ‘... FEW CAN AFFORD’. 

Booker will come into the teachers lounge pulling at the sleeves of his sweater, red faced as everyone not-so-subtly looks him over in his hot pink sweater. Joe will not be able to stop teasing Booker, telling him that the red tone of his skin this morning is clashing with his sweater, and Booker will retaliate by stealing the rest of Joe’s coffee. 

Nicky will be less pleased when Nile points out that he had no problem matching sweater colors with Joe, pointing out that the both of them are wearing blue sweaters with animals on them. Nicky drinks his tea to avoid answering her unspoken question.)

~~~

Nicky is sitting with Andy and Quynh in the teachers lounge a few days after the sweater shopping trip when they ask him what his plans are for spirit week. 

“I already went shopping with Nile and Joe for sweaters, so I guess I just need to plan outfits for the rest of the days.” Nicky says, trying to remember what the rest of the themed days are again, thinking he might have to steal another poster to have it down somewhere. 

“What decade are you being? Me and Andy are dressing like it’s the the 80s.” Quynh tells him, really getting into describing their outfits. “I have a pair of high waisted mom jeans I’ve been  _ dying _ to wear, so imagine those with a belt and a tucked in flowy button down. Andy’s going to wear a pair of pastel bike shorts and a multicolored wind breaker.” 

Andy rolls her eyes, and Nicky isn’t sure at what, until Andy says, “That windbreaker is the ugliest jacket I have ever seen. I don’t even think anyone would have worn it during the  _ actual  _ decade.” 

Quynh nods, a sympathetic look on her face as she rubs a hand up and down Andy’s arm, as if the windbreaker is causing Andy actual pain. “I know, sweetheart.”

“Why don’t you just...buy another jacket?” There is still plenty of time before spirit week actually starts, and Nicky is sure Andy or Quynh would be able to find a different jacket that Andy liked. Quynh, for some reason, doesn’t like Nicky’s question, if her jerky  _ shut up stop talking right now _ motions are anything to go by. Nicky sees her gestures too late though, and at that point, Andy is already starting her response. 

“It’s too much work.” Andy sighs, taking a sip of her coffee. Quynh blinks and stares at Andy, apparently not expecting that to be her response. Nicky eyes the two of them, not sure what Quynh was so worried about Andy saying. “It’s the least visually offensive jacket we could find at the time, even if it is incredibly ugly. And this one doesn’t make that annoying  _ swish _ noise when I walk.” 

Quynh eyes Andy suspiciously, but all Andy does is continue to drink her coffee. Nicky suspects that Andy has a history of complaining about the windbreaker, and Quynh was trying to avoid it and brace Nicky for it. Quynh eventually draws her attention away from Andy and asks Nicky again, “What are you planning, Nicky?”

“Oh, I hadn’t though of it much. I might just pull something from my closet to fit a decade.” Nicky didn’t know what he had in his closet that would look like a particular decade, but he was sure there was something. He could probably pass as someone wearing 90s clothes. 

“No, c’mon, you have to put some  _ thought _ into it, that’s half the fun. I think…” Quynh says, staring at Nicky and clearly thinking of what decade would suit Nicky best. Nicky lets her analyze him, only feeling a little uncomfortable under her gaze. Eventually it must click for her because she snaps her fingers and gets an excited grin on her face when she tells Nicky, “The 70s! The monochromatic suits-- Nicky, I even think you could pull off the ugly moustache everyone had.” 

“A 70s porn moustache?” Andy says, looking offended on Nicky’s behalf. She crunches up her face and shakes her head, like even imagining it hurt. “Quynh, I love you, but not your best suggestion. No one could pull that off, especially not in a school.” 

Quynh won’t let Andy’s words get in the way of her vision of Nicky. Quynh stands by her point that Nicky would look good with the moustache and longer hair, he could be one of the only people who could pull it off. Nicky has to side with Andy, though, he doesn’t think he could make it work for him, despite Quynh’s compliments to his facial features. 

“Sorry, Quynh, I think I have to pass on that one. But I will find a good outfit to wear, just for you.” Quynh had looked a little disappointed, so he reached across the table for her hand and squeezed a little. “I promise.” 

They eventually all go to their classes, but later in the day, Quynh finds him and slips him a fake moustache from the drama room. Quynh assures him it’s “surprisingly high quality, so it won’t be too bad to wear”, and if Nicky is being honest, it was a little creepy to hold a moustache in plastic, but it did look of high quality. Nicky had repeated his concerns of it not being appropriate for a school, but Quynh waved those away, telling him it was just for one day. “Just in case.” she says with a wink before she left him. 

(If Nicky was being even more honest, when he went home that night, he held the moustache up to his face just to see what it would look like. It didn’t look half bad, but Nicky wasn’t sure if that was the truth or Quynh’s voice in his head or the exhaustion from the late hour. Nicky tells himself he’ll try again tomorrow to see if it actually looks good.) 

~~~

The moustache did look good the next day, and Quynh was so excited about her idea, so Nicky decided to roll with it. It was a surprise, though, he refused to tell anyone what he was planning to wear or what decade he choose. Nicky almost cracked when Joe blinked his pretty, big eyes at him, but then Nicky remembered how good the surprise would be, and told him his outfit was staying a secret. 

Nicky had first went to a local thrift store to look for something 70s appropriate, and just when he was about to give up, he saw it. The perfect outfit. Nicky had grabbed it and checked out, immediately went home and tried it on and was thrilled that it fit him. Nicky had chosen a light blue suit, the shirt short sleeved and a button up and the pants bell bottoms and a little high waisted. Nicky may have gone a little overboard with ordering extensions for his hair, making his hair fall past his ears, but it was part of the decade and the whole look was weird without them. 

(Nicky had to video call Alessa to make sure he was putting in the extensions right, both of them avoiding the reason why Alessa would know how to put them in and make it look realistic. Nicky was so close to teasing her for her thirteen year old bad haircut that led to her use of extensions, but he was a believer of the idea ‘don’t bite the hand that feeds you’ when appropriate, so he kept his mouth shut. Once Alessa had assured him that he was putting in the extensions right and that they looked good, Nicky had put on the moustache and showed her his completed outfit. Alessa’s fake puking noises over the moustache were not ideal, but her compliments on his suit were nice.)

Nicky pulls up to the school feeling a little nervous, wondering if he got too invested in his decade themed clothes, but it’s too late, so Nicky steps out of his car and walks through the front doors. Nicky is immediately greeted by Booker, who is standing in the doorway to the library with Nile, who lets out a loud wolfwistle when he sees Nicky. 

Nile is wearing a baby blue sweater, a white skirt with blue lines to make it checkered, and a large white cardigan over her shoulders. Booker went for a grunge-90s look, dark jeans and a plaid shirt. 

“Nicky! Interesting choice.” Booker says, walking toward Nicky with a stunned Nile, who hasn’t said anything since she saw Nicky. Her eyes keep flicking over Nicky’s face, back and forth from his hair to his moustache, occasionally looking at his outfit. Nicky is considering that a good thing. “What inspired this?”

“Quynh, actually. She told me to dress up for the 70s and then she gave me the moustache.” Nicky runs his fingers over the moustache as he talks, self conscious about it over his face. Nicky isn’t one for facial hair, and considering it’s  _ fake _ facial hair, it feels weird on his face. Booker pulls out his phone and sends a text, and Nicky focuses on Nile. 

“Nicky…” Nile says slowly, tilting her head a little while he looks at him. Nicky watches a number of emotions pass over Nile’s face very quickly, from distaste to acceptance to appreciation, before she nods at him and finishes her thought. “You know Nicky, at first I did  _ not  _ like it, but the longer I look at you, the more I like it. I think this really could work for you.” 

Nicky laughs, amused and pleased by her analysis. “Thank you, Nile, but this is just a one time thing. I don’t know how I would handle the moustache full time.” 

“So you’re saying there’s a chance you’ll keep the long hair?” Nile asks, extending her hand a little and asking if she could touch his hair. Nicky nods, bends his head down a little so it’s easier for her to reach. She touches at the bottom of the extensions, rubs the hair between her thumb and fingers before she lets it go. “The extensions feel very real.”

“My sister helped me pick them out, so all the credit goes to her, really. I don’t think it would have looked half as good without her help.” Nicky says, watching Nile continue to stare at him. 

“Sorry I’m staring so much.” Nile says, even though she doesn’t sound very sorry and Nicky isn’t offended by her staring. “It’s just...so  _ weird  _ to see you like this. Especially in this outfit.” 

“Yeah, man.” Booker says, putting his phone away and joining the conversation again. “The hair and the moustache were a shock, sure, but I got over them quickly. But this suit, Nicky, I never thought I would see you in something like this. It’s very...tight.” 

Nicky flushes as he looks down at his outfit. He  _ knows  _ it’s tight, he knows the shirt can pull at his arms depending on how he moves them and that the pants hug his thighs and ass, but otherwise it’s not so bad. Nicky also knows he doesn’t usually wear something so  _ tight, _ so flashy to work, so that adds another element to it. Nicky just shrugs, kicking out his foot a little to see the ends of his pants move. 

Nicky is saved from answering from hearing a shriek across the hallway, looks up to find Quynh bouncing up and down in excitement, Andy and Joe hanging back to stare at him. Quynh and Andy are in their outfits like they said, and Joe is wearing blue Levi jeans and a leather jacket, his curls flattened down with some kind of product, a pair of aviators hanging from the collar of his shirt. He looks  _ good _ . 

Quynh approaches Nicky quickly and Nicky spreads his arms and spins around for her, showing her his outfit. “Do you like it?” Nicky asks, even though it’s obvious Quynh is thrilled Nicky took her suggestion. She’s got a big smile on her face and her hands are clasped together in front of her, and Quynh is bouncing on the balls of her feet as she takes in Nicky’s outfit. “I should have trusted you from the start, the moustache isn’t that bad.” 

“Oh, Nicky, this is perfect. I can’t believe you found this outfit though, it fits you perfectly. Great color, too.” Quynh says as she looks Nicky over. Quynh asks about his hair, and he tells her about Alessa helping him and how she reacted to the moustache. Andy and Joe eventually join them, Andy and Joe going through the same complicated face journey that Nile went through. Andy eventually nods and says, “I like it, but I still think you shouldn’t wear a 70s porn moustache in a school.” Nicky holds his breath waiting for Joe’s response, for his thoughts on Nicky’s outfit and new hair and moustache, but Joe is just staring at him. Nicky can’t tell what he’s thinking, can’t tell if he hates it or likes it, and it’s making Nicky’s stomach twist uncomfortably. 

“ _ Joe,” _ Booker says, nudging Joe with his elbow. Joe blinks and looks to Booker, who raises an eyebrow when Joe is back with them. “What do you think of Nicky’s outfit?”

“Oh, I-” Joe says, eyes wide and looking at Nicky again. Joe looks at Nicky some more, his eyes hovering a little too long around his arms and shoulders Nicky thinks (hopes), and before he can ask if he’s alright, Joe blurts out “Yes, I like it. It, um, the moustache and the hair looks nice.”

(Nicky is too busy being relieved by Joe’s response to see Booker hide his laugh in his hand, to see Nile and Booker have a silent conversation about how ridiculous the two of them are.) 

They all start when the warning bell for first period rings, and they all quickly promise to see each other later and walk toward their classrooms. Andy kisses Quynh goodbye to go to the basement gym, Quynh goes the opposite direction to her classroom, Nile and Nicky walk to the third floor together, and Booker says he’ll walk with Joe to his classroom. Nicky occasionally hears some grumbling from Joe and some loud laughs from Booker behind him, but he’s too focused in his conversation with Nile to pay attention any more than that. 

~~~

Nicky has been avoiding Quynh a little bit, and he’s not proud of it, but he has been ducking around corners and slipping out of conversations when he thinks she’s going to bring up what he’s avoiding. It’s going well for a week, but then Andy intervenes, and Nicky has no shot of avoiding Quynh anymore. 

Nicky, Andy, and Nile are sitting in the teacher’s lounge before school starts, and they’re all sitting in silence drinking their coffee and tea, when Quynh walks in. Quynh sits down right next to Andy, presses a kiss to the top of her head, and then is on Nicky like a pit viper. “Nicky, have you heard about the teacher’s conference? I think you would get a lot out of it, and I’m organizing part of it this year.” 

“Ah, I haven’t heard about it.” Nicky says, glancing at Andy, who is looking at him over the top of her mug. Andy had invited Nicky to sit with her and Nile at the table, insisting after he had declined the first time, telling her he wanted to get to his classroom a little early today. Nicky feels Andy’s foot hook in one of the legs of his chair, feels her jerk her chair just enough for Nicky to feel it, for Nicky to know that Nicky should listen to what Quynh has to say. Andy then directs her attention to Quynh, giving her a fond smile and offering Quynh her coffee. “But teacher’s conferences aren’t usually my thing-” 

“At least hear her out, Nicky. There’s no harm in that.” Andy says, and there is definitely a teasing shine to her eyes, but Nicky doesn’t exactly know where her enjoyment of teasing Nicky ends and her devotion to Quynh’s conference planning starts. Nicky suspects Andy is more for supporting Quynh, but still enjoying teasing Nicky. Nile, who is half asleep in her chair, is only watching with a little smile on her face. Nicky is sure she’ll have lots to say to him later in the day. 

Quynh doesn’t wait for anything else, just jumps into her explanation of the conference and what will be happening. “It’s really fun! There are guest speakers and workshops and team building exercises and you get to talk to teachers from all over the state.” Quynh gives him a pamphlet for him to look through, which has pictures of last year’s event and a list of speakers for the event. Nicky’s eye catches on one name in particular. 

“You’re a guest speaker?” Nicky asks Quynh, shocked. 

“Yup.” Quynh says with a proud smile. “I used to do research on ancient languages before I worked here, for a while actually. I don’t know if you’ve heard of any of my research,-” Quynh doesn’t really phrase it like a question, but Nicky shakes his head all the same. “but I was in Vietnam for a while, then the Balkans-- did you know that the languages used around the Balkans are the oldest, most documented language families still used today? Anyways-- I usually give a talk on how understanding older languages and their practices can help teachers today teach languages more efficiently.” 

“That sounds really interesting.” Nicky says, because it  _ does _ , but he could also just find Quynh’s research online and read her journal articles on her findings, so he doesn’t need to go to a weekend teacher’s conference to learn about that. 

“Tell him about the schedule, Quynh.” Nile says, more like mumbles into her coffee mug, and Quynh gets this betrayed look on her face, and Nicky had already suspected the schedule was Hell, but this isn't looking good. 

“We work from nine in the morning until seven at night, but then after that we can party!” Quynh stops talking then, and Nicky thinks that’s the whole schedule, which isn’t the worst he’s ever heard, but then Quynh starts talking again. “Well, until ten, which is when quiet hours start, so we have a full three hours to go wild. Or-- really two hours, because we need an hour to setup and an hour to clean up.”

“Stop, Quynh, you’re making this sound  _ too _ fun.” Nile says, getting up from her chair to refill her mug with coffee. It’s her third cup this morning, and Nicky eyes her suspiciously. Usually Nile is fine after her first cup. 

Quynh, choosing to ignore Nile’s sarcastic comment, pushes forward. “So, you’ll come? It would mean a lot to me.” Quynh’s got a hopeful look on her face, a little smile pulling at the edges of her mouth, and Nicky can’t say no, can’t let Quynh down when she’s clearly excited about the conference and has put work into it. 

“Of course I’ll come. When is the conference?” Nicky asks, pulling out his phone to put the dates in his calendar. 

“Oh, this weekend. I’ll send you everything in an email.” Quynh says quickly, pulling out a paper from her folder and writing Nicky’s name down on a list on one half of the paper, and then crossing his name off another list on the same page. Nicky smiles and looks at how many people Quynh still has left to ask, and sees she’s got a busy day ahead of her. 

Nicky doesn’t get a chance to look at who else is signed up for the conference because Nile sits down next to Nicky again, falling into her chair with more force than usual. Nicky looks at her with concern. “Hey, are you okay? You’ve had a lot of coffee this morning.” 

Nile nods and looks over at him again, her eyes tired but more or less alert. “Yeah, Nicky, I’m alright. I just had a crazy night last night.”

“That’s one way to put it.” Andy says, smirking at Nile, who rolls her eyes at Andy. 

“I don’t even know how you’re standing right now.  _ No one’s _ favorite drink should be plain vodka, and  _ no one _ should be able to drink so much of it and still be alive the next day.” Nile says, rubbing at her temples after she talks. Andy just nods and rubs her hand across Nile’s shoulders, and while the gesture is meant to be comforting, and it  _ is _ , Nile definitely leans into Andy’s touch, it’s also a little stilted. 

“Me and Quynh took Nile to a bar to meet someone to have a little  _ fun _ with.” Andy says, wiggling her eyebrows when she said “fun”, and Nicky quickly gets the picture. “But there was this bartender who Nile thought was hot, so we decided to keep ordering drinks from him to get him to talk to us, but then Nile got too drunk to go home with anyone. It was not our smartest moment.” 

Nicky nods sympathetically, noticing that Nile finished all her coffee and gets up to refill her cup for her. Nicky remembers being in his mid-twenties, forgetting that he would get bad hangovers now, feeling invincible during the night with his friends and then crashing the next morning, feeling nauseous from just rolling over in his sleep. 

While Nicky is refilling Nile’s mug with coffee, he listens to Quynh and Andy’s little conversation. 

“What’s the name of the bar we went to again? It wasn’t that bad.” Quynh asks. 

“Uh...The Griffin, I think it was. It had that big sign of a bird on the roof.” Andy says, and Nicky tenses for some stupid reason, feels his shoulders tighten when they mention his old bar. It’s not like it’s a secret that Nicky used to work at he bar, except that it kind of is, because the one time it was brought up Nicky avoided the subject and hasn’t talked about what he did before coming to Colebrook since. Nicky doesn’t know why he hasn’t said anything, doesn’t think anyone would say anything mean or look down on him for working at the bar, but he still hasn’t said anything. Maybe he just doesn’t want to talk about how he  _ ended up _ at the bar, why he left his old job and went to The Griffin. 

Nicky gently places the coffee mug next to Nile gently, careful to not make too much noise to disturb Nile. Nile shoots Nicky an appreciate smile, and Nicky makes a mental note to check in on her throughout the day. 

“You ever been there, Nicky? The Griffin?” Andy asks him, and Nicky bites his lip and avoids her eyes before he answers. He decides in that second to tell them, because it really is no big deal, and it’s not like he just quit his other job for no reason, and he  _ liked  _ working at The Griffin, so he has no reason to keep it a secret. 

“I used to work there, actually.” Nicky nods slowly while they all take that in, and Nicky sees something flash in Quynh’s eyes, probably remembering when Nicky dodged her question about when he used to work at a bar at the get together in August. “I, uh, I quit my old job at the catholic high school two towns over, Holy Cross, after one of my students came into my classroom telling me how the priest at the school was teaching the students homophobic things in his sermons, but I didn’t know about it until she told me. I told her that he was wrong about everything, that God loved her no matter what anyone said, that it wasn’t wrong how she was feeling.” 

Nicky swallows thickly, closes his eyes for a second before he continues. He hasn’t thought about that in months, hasn’t had to think of the pain on her face when she told Nicky how she was feeling, how nervous she was to open up to Nicky and ask him questions. How determined she had looked when she left his classroom, how Nicky never got to “I guess she went home and told her parents about what we talked about, because the next morning I got called to a meeting with the principal and Father Miller and-” Nicky laughs humorously, digging his thumb nail into a crack in the table. “and apparently they had been keeping a file of when this would happen with my students, because I would let slip my personal beliefs occasionally, and the principal finally told me to stop or he would ‘ask me to leave’. So I quit that morning, in January, and then I went home to Italy for a month, and then when I came back I got a job at The Griffin for eight months. Then I started here in August.” 

Nicky looks up from the table slowly, taking in their expressions. They’re all looking at him with wide eyes, Andy’s mouth set in a tight line, something heavy in her eyes that Nicky can’t even begin to understand. Quynh looks frustrated, biting her lower lip and shaking her head at Nicky, and Nile is staring at Nicky with her mouth open a little, blinking at Nicky as she grips her coffee mug tight. 

Nicky swallows thickly, not knowing what to do with their silence. It’s not like Nicky figured they would have any kind of positive reaction to the story, but he had forgotten how heavy it could make people feel, how it would change people’s moods in a second. “Um, sorry, I didn’t mean to-” 

Nile is the first to move, practically jumps out of her chair to wrap him in a hug and tell him not to apologize. “Don’t apologize, Nicky. You didn’t say anything wrong. I’m sorry you had to make that choice.” Nicky wraps his arms around her too, not exactly expecting this response from her, but appreciating it. 

“Just out of curiosity, Nicky, what was this priests name?” Andy asks with a dangerous look in her eye, and Quynh scoffs lightly at her.

“C’mon Andy,” Quynh says, standing up to walk toward Nicky too. “You can ask him that later, it’s not the time now.” 

Andy mutters something that sounds like “It’s always an acceptable time for that.”, but it gets drowned out by the warning bell for first period. Quynh wraps him in a quick hug and apologizes and thanks him for telling them that. Andy quickly ruffles the hair at the back of his head and tells him she was serious about getting the priests name, and Nicky can’t tell if she’s serious or not. 

Nicky walks out with the three of them, not feeling lighter exactly, but feeling better. It’s not like he thought about why he left Holy Cross every day, it’s not like he regretted his choices, but he would be lying if he said he wasn’t hesitant to share that part of his professional past. Nicky smiles sadly down at his shoes as he and Nile walk to their classrooms together, feeling foolish for feeling that way, for thinking his friends would react any differently than they did. It was stupid of him to keep any of that a secret, and it was stupid of him to not trust the people he works with, his  _ friends _ . Nicky would have choked up months ago telling that story, but with time he’s been able to make peace with his decisions, and he should have brought that peace with him to be more honest. 

“Um, hey.” Nicky says, making Nile turn to look at him. Nicky knows he’s got a little smile on his face and there’s definitely some kind of glint to his eyes right now, but he doesn’t know if Nile can pick up on it, can tell through her hangover. “Who was it you liked at the bar? I probably know him, I could get you his number.” 

Nile groans and shoves Nicky’s shoulder a little bit, his little smile breaking into a grin. “I’m not saying. I never want to see him again, Nicky.” Nile runs her hands down the side of her face, careful to avoid her makeup. “I don’t ever want to show my face there again.” 

Nicky just shrugs, playing it cool, a serious look on his face now. “I can just ask the people there, you know. They’re all my friends.” Nicky isn’t going to do that, would never do that to Nile, but his lie is worth it for the look on Nile’s face. 

~~~

Nicky is walking with Nile toward her car to drive to the conference together when she turns to him and says, “Oh, hey, I told you Joe was coming too, right?”, and Nile definitely didn’t tell him that, and from the look on her face, she knows it too. 

In addition to avoiding Quynh for a week, Nicky had also been trying to avoid Joe for a little while, just to get some distance between the two of them. Nicky thought that maybe if they didn’t see each other so much, if they didn’t talk so much during the week or see each other in the morning before first period practically everyday, Nicky’s crush would fade. It hasn’t, if anything, it’s only gotten worse. Nicky misses seeing Joe every day, misses his sleepy eyes in the mornings and his little laugh when Booker says something funny but the two of them are fighting and the way he and Nile would always be talking about a new art thing together.

Joe has been trying to talk to him too, and Nicky has tried to keep all their interactions and conversations professional, but it was very difficult. And awkward. Joe had asked him how his weekend was one time, and Nicky had almost dropped all his folders and papers in his haste to get away, telling Joe “That’s personal” before he walked out the door Joe came through. 

(Nicky was glad he hadn’t stuck around after his terrible escape, because Booker had come by his classroom later that day and asked Nicky, “What the hell was that?  _ That’s personal? _ Jesus, Nicky, you might as well have told him to fuck off.” Nicky did feel bad, felt so guilty that he had hurt Joe’s feelings in any way, that he made four batches of salted caramel macaroons that night, one for Booker, one for the rest of their friends in case they were also upset with him, and two for Joe. Nicky handed Booker the macaroons directly, waiting for Booker to take a bite and hum his approval before Nicky ran to Joe’s classroom and left the food in a bag outside his classroom door, a little note attached that said,  _ Sorry, I never meant to make you upset. -Nicky _ . They still haven’t spoken about it.)

Nicky also couldn’t risk learning anything else about Joe, because every little fact about Joe makes him more perfect, more sweet, in Nicky’s mind. Nicky knows that Joe only buys this fancy coffee for himself because it reminds him of home, he knows that Joe likes to leave little sticky notes for himself because he’s forgetful but also because he likes how colorful they make his desk, Nicky knows that Joe rubs at his eyes in the most adorable way in the mornings, he knows that Joe has on open door policy for any of his students to come in and work or just talk after school, and Nicky knows that Joe has an open door policy for the kids who  _ aren’t  _ his students, that he will just listen to any student that comes through his door while he gives them some sculping clay to work through their problems with. 

Nicky can’t take any more of it, because the next thing Nicky will learn is that Joe helped his younger cousin work through her problems and express herself with art, taught her how to focus on creating something instead of getting frustrated, and Nicky literally couldn’t take that. In no reality could Nicky learn that information and not keep himself from kissing Joe. 

So, it’s just better for everyone if Nicky avoids Joe for a little while longer, but apparently Nile never got the memo. “No, Nile, I think you forgot to mention that little detail to me.” 

Nile rolls her eyes at him as she puts her duffel bag in the passenger seat, gesturing for Nicky to do the same. (Nicky is too wrapped up in this new information to find that weird yet.) “C’mon, you can’t avoid him forever. What’s that about anyways?”

“I’m not avoiding him.” Nicky lies, closing the passenger side door with a little more force than necessary. “Sorry.” Nicky apologies before Nile can protest the rough treatment of her car. 

Nile scoffs at him and leans back against her car, Nicky mirroring her. “I really just think you should talk to him. You’re being ridiculous about this whole thing.” 

“Thank you, Nile, but I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

“Alright, fine, but how are you going to avoid him for  _ two whole days _ , in a hotel, at a conference where we’re all supposed to be talking to each other?”

“I’m not avoiding Joe, but if I  _ was _ ,” Nicky says, even though Nile already knows he’s lying and isn’t believing a word out of his mouth this entire time, “it won’t be a problem. We’ll probably never even see each other.” 

Nicky’s prediction is instantly wrong because as he looks up to ask Nile what they’re waiting for, he sees exactly  _ who _ they’re waiting for. Joe is strolling toward them with a duffel bag on his shoulder, his hand in the air in a wave. He’s wearing this black peacoat and a dark red shirt, and he looks fantastic, and Nicky wants to die. “He’s driving with us too?”

“Oh, yeah,” Nile says with a smirk, waving back at Joe, “Did I forget to mention that too?”

“Hey, guys,” Joe says as he jogs up to them, hands Nile his bag when she puts her hand out for it. “You excited for this weekend?”

“ _ Totally _ , I can’t wait to get to know people from a school an hour away and never speak to them again.” Nile says sarcastically, rearranging their bags in the passenger seat and closing the door again. “Not to mention the awkward team building activities.” 

Nicky and Joe laugh, but Nicky’s laugh dies in his throat when he hears Joe’s laugh for the first time in a while, gets caught up in how happy he looks and how deep his laugh is. God, this weekend is going to be torture. 

“We can’t be late, though, Quynh will kill us. You two get in the back together, out bags are in the front.” Nile says, pushing the two of them to open the back doors and get in the car. Nicky’s eyes dart to the passenger seat, realizing that that move was strategic and definitely on purpose. Nicky slowly gets into the back seat with Joe, telling himself that it’ll be fine, Nile will also be in the car with them. Nile can be their buffer. 

“Hi.” Joe says to him the second they’re alone in the car, turns toward Nicky with a little smile. Nicky doesn’t think he’s ever seen a smile that little on Joe’s face the entire time he’s known him, and Nicky feels guilt twist in his stomach all over again. Joe’s eyes are searching his face, big and beautiful and probably wondering if Nicky is going to get weird on him again. 

“Hi.” Nicky finally says back, swallowing nervously. Nicky promises himself he’ll be less distant during the car ride, if only to get Joe to stop looking at him like that, and definitely not because he misses talking to Joe. “So, how involved is Quynh in this conference, usually?”

Nicky can see Joe’s relieved exhale when Nicky initiates a conversation with him, and Nicky feels the guilt eat away his entire stomach this time. 

~~~

The three of them check into the hotel, and Nile asks them what rooms they’re in. “I got 215.” 

“233.” Joe says. 

“234.” Nicky doesn’t appreciate Nile’s loud squawk at that information, but he guesses that if he was in opposite shoes, he would find it amusing too. 

“Can you believe that we’re right next to each other?” Joe asks him, and he’s clearly excited and happy to be close to Nicky, but Nicky can’t appreciate that right now, too focused on how God and the Universe are out to get him right now. 

“No, I really can’t believe it.”

~~~

Nicky catches up with Nile and Andy in a conference room full of people, Andy pointing at people and Nile hiding her laughter behind her hand. Andy points to one older man with thick rimmed classes and says, “dud”, points to another man with a bad haircut and says “goofus”, and then to a women with an armful of books and says, “nerd”. Nile is enjoying it but pretends like she isn’t, lightly telling Andy that she can’t make fun of people so loudly, that pointing kind of defeats the purpose of talking about people in secret.

“I’m not staying in this room, so it doesn’t matter for me.” Andy says, waving at Nicky when he approaches them. “I’m sitting in Quynh’s lecture all day, asking the preprepared questions she wants me to ask so she can talk about more of her research.” 

“Aw, well that’s sweet.” Nile says, and Nicky has to agree. “Quynh is very lucky.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I love my wife so much, I’d do anything for her, she means the world to me.” Andy waves them off, already walking toward the door to leave for Quynh’s lecture. “Don’t let it get around that I’m soft for her, it might ruin my reputation.”

“Everyone already knows that, Andy! It’s basically written on your face anytime you look at her or talk about her or even  _ think _ about Quynh.” Nile says, and Nicky nods along with her. Everyone already knows Andy is hopelessly gone for Quynh, and Nicky is a hundred percent sure Andy would never care about her ‘reputation’ or ‘image’ is being in love with her wife. Nicky thinks Andy would love that, for everyone to see how happy she makes Quynh, how happy Quynh makes her. 

Andy flips Nile off, and then she’s gone, and Joe is suddenly taking her place. Joe looks like he’s about to say something, and Nicky is quick to deflect. “Hey, let’s grab out seats. I think it’s about to start.” Nicky turns around before he can see Joe’s face fall, before he can see the hurt flash across Joe’s eyes. Nicky makes it so that Nile sits between him and Joe, returning Nile’s “You’re weird, you’re a weirdo” when she whispers it to him. 

The speaker does come out, a short woman with a soothing, slow voice; she’s wearing a flowy dress and large, dangling earrings, and introduces herself as an “education guru.” Nicky zones out for the first part of her talk, if he’s being honest, relaxed by the tone of her voice and the slow pace of the lecture. Nicky is only brought back to the present when Nile’s phone buzzes a few times, and she smiles before she stands up to leave. 

“Wait, Nile.” Nicky whispers, trying to be respectful. “Where are you going?”

“It’s my brother, I want to see what he’s saying. Relax, I’ll be back soon.” Nile says, and then she’s quickly leaving the conference room, and Nicky is left alone, with Joe, without any kind of buffer. 

“Today, we will learn about our fellow educators, their hopes, their dreams, their bitter regrets. Things they wish they had said to their birth mothers.” Nicky pays attention to their speaker again, laughing when Joe lets out a quiet “oof” at the last part of her sentence. “So, partner up!”

Joe turns toward Nicky, and Nicky turns toward Joe in return, already knowing what Joe is about to say. “Do you want to be my partner, Nicky?”

Nicky blinks, wishing he could hear those words in the context that he so desperately wants to, that Joe would mean that question the way Nicky wants him to. Nicky isn’t going to be a complete dick this weekend, could never really say no to  _ everything  _ Joe says to him, so he puts on a smile and accepts Joe’s offer. 

Joe slides over into Nile’s old seat, sits right next to Nicky, and looks forward when their speaker addresses the room again. “Alright, everyone, please look at your partner, take their hand, and say, ‘I’m excited!’”

Joe quickly reaches out for Nicky’s hand, and Nicky is just as quick to accept Joe’s hand, because Joe is so close to him and he smells so nice and he’s so handsome and his hand is so big and warm and Nicky is  _ weak _ . “I’m excited.” Joe says, and while Nicky repeats it back to him, he’s really thinkinking, “ _ Oh, fuck _ .”

~~~

“Each of you holds a set of cards with questions for your partner. You must uncover the answers, begin.” 

Nicky looks down at his cards, shuffles them a little for absolutely no reason, other than nerves. Nicky starts, reads the first question for Joe, who is bouncing on the balls of his feet, waiting for Nicky. “What gets you out of bed in the morning? Wait, wait, let me guess.” Nicky interrupts Joe before he can even say anything, but Joe looks happy to let Nicky talk, happy to give Nicky the opportunity to tease him. “Your mother, who you still live with, knocks on your bedroom door and tells you that your breakfast is getting cold.” 

Joe huffs a laugh, and Nicky waits for Joe’s real answer. “The thought that any ordinary day could be the day that I look back on, when I’m older, as being the best day of my life. You?” Joe just  _ says  _ that, just says that perfect, heart wrenching thing, and expects Nicky to follow that. Nicky would probably have ended up saying something similar anyways, but all he’s able to get out is a choked “Same- same for me.” 

“What was your favorite animal as a little kid and why?” Joe says, looking particularly interested in this question. Nicky thinks for a second, and when he remembers he feels a little smile break out on his face. “I, um, I don’t know how to say it in English.” Nicky does know how to say it in English, he just...doesn’t want to, really, and he knows it’ll sound better in Italian. It will sound how he wants it to if he says it in Italian. 

“So tell me in Italian.” 

Nicky nods and starts talking. “ _ The panther was one of my favorite animals as a child. I remember like it was yesterday the day my parents took me to see her at the zoo, and my amazement in front of that creature, that night-black mantle, shiny and iridescent, with bluish reflections, and that deep, rhythmic breathing. Finally, particularly indelible in my mind is the feeling of sovereign calm that emanated from the animal.” _

“That’s beautiful,” Joe says, and he sounds like he means it, like he understood Nicky at all, but before Nicky could ask any questions, Joe is telling him his favorite childhood animal. “Mine was a ladybug, I thought they were cute.” 

Nicky smiles at Joe, a big, goofy grin, and feels his heart rate pick up when Joe smiles back at him. This is not how Nicky planned for the weekend to go, but if this is where it’s going, he might as well embrace it. For a little while, at least. 

“What goes in your ideal picnic basket?” Joe asks Nicky, and Nicky purses his lips as he thinks of an answer. Nicky hasn’t been on many picnics in his life, but if he were to go on one, “I think that there is an art to making a picnic basket, like-- an apricot jam would never go with a sesame cracker, it would go with--”

“Of course not, it would go with--”

“A flaky baguette.” They both say at the same. Joe’s smile when he and Nicky say the same thing at the same time could power cities, could power an entire empire with how bright it is. Nicky closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, forcing all thoughts of compatibility out of his mind. These are just silly little questions, and Nicky shouldn’t read into the fact that they’re agreeing on every single one. 

“Next is the obstacle course, which will really test you and your partners compatibility!” the speaker says, gesturing for all of them to follow her to the obstacle course. Nicky has never read into any of those ‘God has a sense of humor’ sayings, but Nicky is starting to get what everyone meant now. “Nothing crazy, of course, you’ll just be blindfolded and depend on your partner to lead you through the course.” 

Nicky and Joe get in line, about ten people from the start, and Joe nudges Nicky’s shoulder with his own. Nicky looks to him, takes in the worried look on his face and how he’s biting his lip, and Nicky knows instantly that he’ll do anything to take that look off Joe’s face, to get rid of any worry that he has. “Can you be blindfolded? I don’t really…” 

Joe trails off, but Nicky doesn’t need him to finish. It’s not important why Joe doesn’t want to do it. “Yes, I’ll be blindfolded. No problem.” Nicky takes the blindfold from the person handing them out and wraps it around his hand, holding it until it’s their turn. 

“Oh, good, thank you.” Joe lets out a little sign of relief, and Nicky is glad that he’s feeling better about it. It’s eventually their turn, and Joe takes the blindfold from Nicky and ties it around his eyes, gently. Nicky holds his breath, waiting for Joe’s hands to be off him, but then Joe takes Nicky’s hand and slowly walks him to the front of the obstacle course. Nicky must flinch or jump or do  _ something  _ small but noticeable enough because Joe whispers to him, “Don’t worry, I won’t let anything happen. I’ll be right next to you the whole time.” 

Nicky nods as Joe lets go of his hand and instead puts a hand on his shoulder, telling Nicky to stop walking. Joe squeezes his shoulder before he presumably takes a few steps away from Nicky, and then the speaker is blowing her whistle and they’re starting. Nicky saw the high hurdle at the very beginning of the course before they started, so he’s ready for Joe’s instructions on that one, but the rest he’s clueless about. 

They’re have to be some kind of cones on the ground next, because Joe is telling him to go left and then right at different times, and then there has to be a series of low hurdles because Joe is telling him to take a few high steps, and then Nicky just stops getting instructions from Joe. Nicky stands still for a moment, his hands out in front of him, his eyes moving uselessly behind the blindfold. “Joe?” 

“Sorry, sorry-- I’m here.” Joe says, taking one of Nicky’s hands again. All the other teachers around then are cheering loudly, so Joe has to get close to Nicky’s ear while he talks so he can hear Joe, and it’s taking everything inside Nicky not to shiver at Joe’s voice and how close he’s standing. “I don’t know how to explain this part to you. It’s like, ropes on the ground.” Joe is quiet again, and then he’s squeezing Nicky’s hand and explaining something really fast. “No-- okay, imagine, like, a ladder that’s laying flat on the ground, and you have to walk in the empty spaces between the rungs.” 

“Okay, I can do that.” Nicky says, taking a step forward, and then another. Joe tells him to make his steps longer, so Nicky does. Nicky can hear Joe at the end of whatever this rope-ladder thing is, telling Nicky, “come to me, come to me, you’ve got this.”, and everything inside Nicky wants to win this because Joe is so loud and excited and Nicky is a little (a lot) competitive, and Nicky can feel Joe’s fingertips with his own, so he has to be  _ close _ , but then he trips. 

Nicky’s foot has to get caught in one of the rope rungs, because one second he’s flying through the air and trying to take his blindfold off, and the next second he’s in Joe’s arms and not on the ground. One of Joe’s hand wraps around his waist and the other around his shoulders, and Nicky is quick to throw one of his arms around Joe’s neck to keep him from falling any further. Nicky pushes the blindfold off the rest of the way, immediately getting caught in Joe’s eyes, breathing heavily. 

“I got you, I got you. You okay?” Joe whispers. They’re so close, Nicky in a position to do nothing except stare into Joe’s eyes, his charming, delightful, sparkling eyes, and Nicky feels the breath get knocked out of him for a reason unrelated to his fall. Nicky’s mouth falls open as he just stares at Joe, watches his eyes and catalogues his freckles and the little scars by his temple and loving how his curls are almost brushing Nicky’s forehead from how close their faces are. Joe has this cautious smile on his face, like he’s not letting himself smile how he wants until he knows Nicky is okay, and Nicky blinks when he remembers Joe asked him a question. 

“ Sì, I’m okay.” Nicky whispers as Joe slowly lifts Nicky so they’re both standing, Joe’s eyes not leaving Nicky the entire time. Joe’s arms are so solid around him, so warm and secure, and Nicky physically aches when Joe lets him go. Nicky briefly touches at his face, doesn’t really know why, from shock or to check if he was blushing, just knows that he can’t look away from him even as their speaker announces they’ve set a new record and everyone claps around them. 

~~~

Nicky doesn’t know how it happened, but one minute Joe and Nicky were sitting through another boring lecture, sharing dry looks and smiles, and the next minute they were giggling as they walked into Nicky’s hotel room, Joe going for the minifridge quickly. Joe holds up two little bottles, vodka and rum, with a question on his face, and Nicky is quick to take the rum. They drink the liquor quick, the two of them falling onto the floor in front of Nicky’s bed when they’re done. 

Joe’s got his head resting on the foot of Nicky’s bed, his neck stretched back and his eyes closed, and Nicky forces himself to look away even though Joe’s eyes are closed. They’re sitting in silence, and it’s not awkward at all, it might be the most comfortable Nicky’s been in a while, and it’s that a terrifyingly wonderful thought? Nicky twirls the now empty bottle of rum in between his fingers, but doesn’t look over when Joe picks his head off the bed and looks at him. 

“Can I ask you something?” Joe asks tentatively, like he’s worried Nicky will say no. Like he’s worried Nicky will avoid him again, like Nicky will dodge his questions again. Nicky is hating his decision to avoid Joe more and more, hates himself for making such a stupid, heartless decision, because it’s not like him at all to do that. Nicky nods to Joe’s question, not looking at him yet. 

“What was with the macaroons? They were very good, like everything you make, but…” Joe trails off, scratching at his beard while he waits for Nicky to answer. Nicky bites his lower lip at Joe’s compliment, glad Joe liked them. It was really the least Nicky could do, after coming clean about everything. 

“It was after I ran away from you last week. I wanted to apologize for being a jerk.” Nicky knows his voice is weak, but he can’t take back what he did, how he made Joe feel, he can only move forward, apologize. Nicky looks up see Joe with a shocked expression on his face, like he didn’t expect Nicky to say that, of all things. “I really am sorry, it wasn’t right of me to do that.

“Nicky, you don’t--”

“Yes, I do. We’re friends, and I don’t ever want to make my friends feel bad.” The word friend has never tasted so sour in his mouth, but that’s what he is to Joe, that’s what they are. Friends. “I don’t ever want to make you sad.” Nicky says, feeling like that was an important addition. 

Joe sucks in a breath in surprise, but Nicky doesn’t know what he has to be surprised about. Nicky cares about Joe, and Nicky would never want anyone he cares about to be sad, especially by his actions. “Why were you avoiding me? Did I do something to offend you or hurt you?”

“No, of course not.” Nicky is quick to reassure Joe, shifts so that he can’t miss Joe’s eyes. “Really, you didn’t do anything wrong. It was all me, I was just being stupid, and I- I’ll never do it again.” 

“You promise?” 

“I promise.” Nicky says, sticking out his pinky finger for Joe. Joe just looks at him, his mouth falling open at Nicky’s finger. Nicky feels anxiety twist up in his stomach, afraid that he went too far. Nicky thought it was cute, something to ease them back in to comfortable, playful conversation. “What? It’s a pinky promise, that’s what you call them here, yes?” 

Nicky’s question brings Joe back to himself, a laugh shaking his chest and a smile breaking out over his face. Nicky feels pride swell in his chest at making Joe smile again. “Yes, that’t what we call them. I just haven’t made a pinky promise in at least twenty years.” 

Joe tangles his pinky finger with Nicky and brings them up and down, resembling a handshake, which is new part of the gesture for Nicky. Nicky tugs once on Joe’s pinky finger before he lets his hand drop, thinking of something to say. “Can I ask you something now?” Joe hums his approval of being asked a question, and Nicky asks, “Why’d you become an art teacher?” 

“Oh that’s easy.” Joe says, like Nicky just asked him a simple math question, like Nicky didn’t just ask him why he decided on his entire career path. “My little cousin, she had a lot of anger problems as a kid, and my uncle and aunt tried everything, and I was taking an art therapy class in college at the time, so I offered to help. She… she was having some speech problems at the time too, which wasn’t helping her anger, so the art helped her communicate and gave her a sense of control over how and what she expressed herself.” Joe sighs, and Nicky can’t is speechless. This can’t be real, this can’t possibly be happening. “She got better eventually, and I realized I wanted to do that for the rest of my life, wanted to help kids create and express themselves in different ways.”

“Oh, God.” Nicky groans as he gets up to get water, to get away from Joe and how perfect he is. Nicky can’t believe he predicted that earlier, can’t believe how perfect Joe is. Nicky wants to scream into his pillow, like ever protagonist in a teen movie, wants to throw himself down on his bed and scream until his chest is empty of feelings for Joe. 

“What?” Joe asks, curious, following him to his duffel bag. Nicky takes a sip of water from his water bottle and offers it to Joe, just in case. 

“Nothing, you’re-- it’s just too perfect.” Nicky covers himself poorly, almost tells Joe that  _ he  _ was too perfect. Like that would have made a difference after this whole day, but still. 

“It’s actually more common than you would think. Especially with the speech problems.” Joe says, thankfully oblivious to Nicky’s internal breakdown over how unreal he is. 

“I know.” Nicky says, grabbing his wallet and phone from the table he threw them on when they got to his room, handing Joe his own stuff too. “Let’s go listen to Quynh’s lecture, it sounded interesting.” If Joe is surprised by Nicky’s quick change of the subject he doesn’t show it, probably because he’s excited to listen to Quynh’s lecture too. Joe spends the entire elevator ride to the conference rooms talking about Quynh’s past lectures, how people always want to visit her room and listen to what she has to say. They find Andy in the conference room and sit down in the two open seats next to her. When Quynh comes out on stage and everyone claps, Nicky catches Andy giving Quynh a subtle thumbs up, and Nicky smiles at that, thinking of Andy sitting in the same seat all day, giving Quynh a thumbs up every time she begins her lecture. 

Nicky feels foolish for a lot of reasons today, but the biggest reason would be his earlier reluctance to come to this conference. Nicky makes eye contact with Quynh and gives her an encouraging look, and Quynh smiles before she begins her lecture. It’s perfect. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the nicky background in the series is really getting into what happened at holy cross and his time in Italy and his time as a bartender. it all happens in january-march before nicky starts working with everyone here. 
> 
> sorry if that expiration/part felt rushed here i just had to put it somewhere and this seemed like the best spot for it, and i didn't want it to take up too much focus in this part 
> 
> it's all posted and finished in the next fic in the series but again u don't have to read it to understand anything in this fic, i only didn't put it in as another chapter in this fic bc it was already getting super long and i didn't like the angst vibe of the background for this fic


	5. december

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "C’mon, come dance with me!” Joe says, holding out his hand for Nicky to take to the dance floor. Joe has a tentative smile on his face, like he’s worried that Nicky will say no to him, like Nicky isn’t into the idea of dancing with Joe. Nicky is so into the idea, Nicky wants more than anything to take Joe’s hand and dance with him, but…
> 
> “I don’t dance.” Nicky says with a wince, hating to disappoint Joe in any way, even though this is for the best. Nicky doesn’t think he could take the embarrassment of dancing in front of Joe, doesn’t know if he could survive seeing Joe after this if he actually _danced._ Nicky is awkward at best when he dances, has never been sure what to do with his hips or his arms, no matter how much he tries to learn. 
> 
> Joe apparently doesn’t share his fears. “Everyone can dance, Nicky. I’ll show you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we have winter school dances and goodbyes for winter break and families!! the school dance scene was one of my fav things to write for this so i hope u guys like it <3

**_December_ **

Andy texted everyone to come to the gym thirty minutes before the dance started to help with set-up and organizing, telling them that if they didn’t show up there would be consequences. Nicky didn’t want to know what kind of consequences Andy was threatening, so he made sure he was at the gym thirty minutes before the dance started, ready to help. 

Nicky walks into the gym slowly, taking everything in. This dance is technically the winter formal, for everyone in high school, but it also has a Valentine’s day feel to it. Nicky looks up at the arch way he walks through as he enters the gym, white and silver balloons wrapped around light pink fairly lights covering the arch way. There were blue and white cut outs of hearts all over the walls, a projector showing large snowflakes onto the ceiling that Nicky would vaguely see with the lights still on, and on the tables spread out around the room, there were little bunches of little flowers that look like bulbs. Just outside the doors the gym, there’s one board covered in fake roses and another covered in a white sheet, and under the sheet, there are bright fairly lights, each board for taking pictures. 

Nicky looks around for Quynh, wanting to congratulate her on her decorating talent, but as Nicky walks further into the gym, Andy appears in front of him and grabs his arm to pull him out into the hallway. Nicky stumbles and grabs her arm for support, Andy not giving him time to turn around and walk before she pulls him out of the gym. “Andy, what-”

“Shh, I’ll explain in a second.” Andy says to him, finally letting go of his arm when they stop in the hallway. Nicky looks around, expecting to see someone or something that they had to deal with, but it’s just Andy and Nicky standing in the hallway. Nicky blinks at Andy, taking in her black suit and white button down, the lightest peach eyeshadow Nicky has ever seen covering her eyelids. Nicky has only ever seen her in workout clothes or jeans, has never seen her look so dressed up. 

“Andy, you look beautiful.” 

“Thank you, Nicky, but I’m already married.” Andy says, winking at Nicky. Nicky rolls his eyes at her but accepts her response, figuring he wasn’t going to get a thank you or an acknowledgement of her wearing a suit. “You clean up nice too. I’ll be right back.” 

Andy disappears back into the gym, and Nicky stands there, looking around the hallway again. There aren’t many decorations in the part of the hallway Andy dragged him to, but there was a long handmade banner lining the wall that said “Love is Forever and Ever”, with six extra ‘ever’s trailing after it. Nicky isn’t waiting long before Joe and Booker stumble in with Andy, Nile walking calmly behind Andy. While Nicky is taking the three of them in, Booker says something about why Nile isn’t being dragged by the arm, and Andy tells Booker it’s because Nile is responsible and trustworthy. 

Nicky’s eyes land on Joe first, in a dark blue suit with a light blue button down underneath. There’s a little turtle pin that catches Nicky’s eye on the lapel of Joe’s suit jacket, and Nicky’s brain short circuits immediately at the sight, even though he hasn’t even properly taken in the rest of his suit yet. The suit fits him perfectly, hugs his arms and chest and legs  _ just _ right, and Nicky isn’t even trying to be subtle as his eyes sweep over Joe’s body, just hoping that no one is paying attention to him. Joe moves his arms for some reason, making his shirt pull tight over his chest, and Nicky’s mouth goes dry watching the fabric move over Joe’s chest. Nicky wants to touch him, wants to run his hands over his shoulders and down his arms, maybe even hold his hand a little bit. 

Nile is wearing heels, making her a little bit taller than Nicky tonight, so when she elbows him it lands uncomfortably on his shoulder bone. “Ow.” Nicky says, rubbing his shoulder and looking at Nile in surprise. 

“You’re staring.” Nile whispers to him out of the corner of her mouth. Nile is wearing an off the shoulder, knee length, light pink dress. She has gold eyeshadow on and a light blush on her cheeks, and she’s wearing some kind of glossy lipstick. She looks beautiful, it’s a perfect color on her, and Nicky would tell her that if his shoulder didn’t still hurt. 

“No, I’m not.” Nicky whispers back, clearly lying, as he stares some more at Joe. Joe and Booker are talking, joking around about something, and Joe is smiling at whatever Booker is saying, bright and beautiful and wide enough to make his dimples show. God, what Nicky would do to be on the other side of that smile right now. 

“Okay, okay, everybody listen.” Andy says, clapping her hands to get everyone’s attention. Joe and Booker turn to Andy, and when Nicky briefly catches Joe’s eye, Joe shoots him a little smile and Nicky is helpless to smile back. “First, thank you all for volunteering to be chaperones tonight.”   
  
“None of us volunteered. You made us sign up.” Booker says, earning a shove from Joe. Booker doesn’t look as dressed up as the rest of them, just wearing a pair of dark jeans, a maroon shirt, and a leather jacket. It’s a good look for him, though, Nicky will admit that. 

“That’s not relevant right now.” Andy waves off his comment, moving on. “Second, this dance is incredibly important to Quynh and she’s worked so hard to make sure everything is perfect, so it has to be a perfect night. There will be no fooling around tonight and you will listen to everything that I am about to say.” 

Nicky has a passing thought about how scary Andy can be, how in another life she would have been a good spy or some kind of agent, but then Andy is pointing a pen she pulled from somewhere at him, and Nicky makes sure he’s paying attention. 

“Nicky, you are on snack table duty, so keep the food out and make sure no one spikes the punch.” Andy opens her eyes wider, making sure Nicky is looking at her and listening. “This is very important, food is essential at these things, but I know you can do this.” 

“Okay.” Nicky says, nodding slowly and holding her eye contact. “Got it, the snack table will be well taken care of.” 

When Andy is assured he can handle his responsibilities, she moves onto Nile. “Nile, you will be at the front table checking students in for forty-five minutes, and then check in with me when you come into the gym and I’ll assign you somewhere.” Nile smiles and nods, accepting her task. 

“Joe, you’re on the dance floor. Keep an eye out for anything that looks suspicious and make sure no one goes under the bleachers.” Joe scrunches up his face in disgust, but he wisely doesn’t argue, just nods and tells Andy he’s got it covered. 

“Booker, you’re on parking lot duty. Check for stragglers, bring them inside if they’re acting out.” Booker doesn’t look happy with his assignment, but he doesn’t argue either, just mumbles something about how it’s cold outside and how he could be spending time with his  _ own _ kids tonight, and not babysitting other people’s kids. 

Andy glares at him, but Booker doesn’t seem affected, just huffs at her but stays quiet. “This is important to Quynh, so it’s important to me, so it’s important to you guys. Stay on top of everything, and don’t let these little bastards get under your skin and throw you off, because they will and they can.”

“Do you think you should be calling your students bastards?” Joe asks, raising an eyebrow at Andy. Nile hums in agreement, pointing a finger at Joe to show just how much she agrees with him. “Also, I think we’re all old enough to not let a bunch of fifteen year olds hurt our feelings.” 

“It’s fine, they know I love them.” Andy shrugs, not looking bothered at all. Nicky suppresses a smile at hearing Andy’s words, liking this side of Andy. “I love them with all my heart, but they will figure out your biggest insecurities and purposely hurt your feelings.” 

Booker purses his and nods slowly, and Nicky feels like they should address how sure of that statement he looks, but Andy is moving on and Nicky can always talk to Booker later. 

“So, stay sharp, keep everything perfect for Quynh, and have fun.” Andy ends her sentence with a smile, and Nicky smiles back, feeling soft over how much Andy cares about the dance because Quynh cares about it. Andy leads them all back to the gym, and when they’re all walking through the arch, Andy hisses at them, “Please compliment something to Quynh too. Everyone has to pick a different thing to compliment, though, so please coordinate about that.” 

Andy abandons them as soon as they’re through the archway and she spots Quynh, wrapping her arms around Quynh’s shoulders and pulling Quynh against her chest. Andy sways them back and forth a little bit, pressing a kiss to Quynh’s temple and then leaving her lips there, and Nicky watches as Quynh exhales heavily into Andy’s neck and her whole body relaxes. 

“They’re really something, huh?” Joe says, sneaking up behind Nicky. Nicky startles a little but relaxes when he realizes it’s Joe, glancing at him out of the corner of his eye. Joe is standing next to Nicky so their shoulders are lined up, his hands in his pockets. 

“Yeah, but it’s nice that they have each other. They’re good together.” Nicky says, watching as Quynh pulls herself back from Andy and walks her over to one of the tables on the floor, sitting together. Nicky hadn’t seen Quynh before Andy got to her, and Nicky can only imagine that she was very stressed, but now that she’s with Andy she looks calm, happy about the dance instead of worried. 

“Yeah.” Joe says, but his voice sounds far away, and when Nicky looks over at him, Joe is already looking at Nicky. Joe has this soft, gentle look in his eyes, a little smile on his face, and it’s directed at Nicky. Nicky looks at Joe, can’t bring himself to look away, can only imagine what his expression must look like to Joe. In moments like this, Nicky thinks about telling Joe, considers telling Joe that he has a hopeless crush on him, wonders if Joe would like it if he kissed him, but then Joe blinks and the look is gone from his face, and Nicky is brought back to reality. They’re friends, coworkers, and Nicky has to respect that. 

“What are you going to tell Quynh you like? I was thinking of taking the hearts.” Joe says, pointing to the heart cut outs on the walls. 

Nicky takes a little deep breath, centering himself. “I was going to do the flowers on the tables.” 

“Ah, good choice.” Joe nods, looking around the room. The dance is probably fifteen minutes from starting, and Nicky still needs to take care of the snack table and tell Quynh he likes her flower choices, but Nicky doesn’t really want to move away from Joe, even if they’re not saying anything to each other. 

Joe surprises him by saying, “I like your suit. You look nice.”, with a little smile, almost like he’s nervous to compliment Nicky. Nicky feels his heart flutter at the compliment, feels a little smile spread across his own face. Joe thinks he looks  _ nice _ , Joe likes the suit he picked out (a black suit and a dark purple shirt). His face warms up a little, blushing, and he hopes it isn’t too obvious to Joe but he knows it is.

“Thank you, Joe. You look good too.” Nicky says, rubbing at the back of his neck. Joe does look good, he looks  _ better _ than good, but as the words leave his mouth, he knows they’re different than what Joe said to him. 

“I look  _ good _ ?” Joe has a dangerous smile on his face, like he’s seconds away from teasing Nicky over his word choice. Joe turns to fully face Nicky, keeping his hands in his pockets, and Nicky is once again struck dumb by his shirt pulling across his chest. 

Nicky rolls his eyes, but he’s not all that bothered by Joe’s teasing. He likes that he and Joe have that kind of relationship now, that Joe is comfortable joking around with him. Nicky tries to not make a big deal of it, though, tries to take attention away from what he said. “What, I can’t say you look good? Are we twelve years old?”

Joe just shrugs, that stupid grin still on his face, driving Nicky wild. Joe jerks his head toward where Quynh and Andy are now sitting at a table and going over last minute stuff together, gesturing for Nicky to follow him. “C’mon, let’s go talk to Quynh before Andy yells at us again.” 

Nicky snorts, following Joe when he starts walking. They get to Quynh and Andy soon enough, and Nicky rushes to tell Quynh how beautiful the dance looks, how much he loves the flowers she picked out. Joe tells Quynh how much he likes the hearts and how good of a job she did at covering up all the ugly parts of the gym with her decorations. Quynh pulls them into a hug as soon as they’re done complementing her skills, wrapping one arm around Joe and her other arm around Nicky at the same time. 

“Oh, thank you both. I really needed to hear that.” Quynh sighs, letting go of Joe and Nicky so she can talk to them. Quynh is wearing a floor length white dress, her makeup subtle like Andy’s is. “Thank you for volunteering too, that means a lot to me.” 

“It was no problem.” Nicky says, keeping the fact that Andy basically threatened all of them to volunteer, since it wouldn’t be helpful at the moment, and because he would have volunteered to help Quynh without the threats. “You really should be proud of yourself, you did a great job here.” 

Quynh swats at Nicky’s shoulder, a little smile on her face. “You’re too sweet, Nicky. Thank you, really.” 

Nicky excuses himself to set up the snack table, leaving Quynh, Andy, and Joe to talk. As Nicky is walking away, he sees Andy give him a secret thumbs up that is so much like  _ Quynh _ that Nicky is still smiling as he walks too the snack table. Nile and Booker come up to the table and ask Nicky what parts of the dance he and Joe already complimented, and when Nicky tells them, Booker groans and tells Nicky he took his thing. Nicky just shrugs, casually opening a bag of chips and pouring them into a bowl like that doesn’t bother him at all. Nile laughs at them as she leaves, not waiting for Booker to follow after her. (Nicky  _ does _ look bothered when Booker takes a handful of chips with him as he leaves, but Booker just shrugs back at him with a smirk.)

Soon enough the students start pouring into the gym and the lights turn off and the music turns on, and the dance officially starts. A lot of it is music Nicky doesn’t recognize, but he does recognize a few songs here and there, thanks to Alessa and her insistence that she control the music whenever Nicky sees her. Nicky bops along to the music in his corner by the snack table, occasionally getting visits from Nile and Andy, but mostly he gets quick visits from students getting drinks. Nicky doesn’t know most of them, a lot of the students who come up to the table are underclassmen, but they’re all polite enough. 

Joe comes up to the snack table to visit him about an hour into the dance, grabbing a cookie to eat while he stands next to Nicky. Joe doesn’t say anything for a little while, just stands with Nicky and eats his cookie, but it’s a nice moment. 

“How is watching the dance floor?” 

“Oh, it’s so much fun.” Joe puts an exaggerated look on his face, raising his eyebrows and smiling a little bit. “I love checking behind the bleachers to make sure kids aren’t making out. Or worse.” Joe shudders at the end, a disgusted look falling over his face. 

Nicky nods, can only imagine how terrible that would be. Nicky has the urge to touch Joe again, to rest his hand on his back to reassure him, but he doesn’t let himself. “Well, if you need to eat your feelings, I know just the thing.” 

Joe definitely looks interested, curious, so Nicky ducks under the table and comes back up with chocolate chip cookies,  _ better _ cookies than the ones that are on the table now. They’re the soft kind of cookie, with twice the amount of chocolate chips as the cookies on the table now. Nicky opens the box and holds it out to Joe, offering him as many as he wants. “If you want any, I suggest you take them now, before the kids do.” 

“Oh, Nicky.” Joe takes three cookies, eating the first one slowly, like he wants to savor it, wants it to last forever. Joe hums as he keeps eating, and Nicky barely catches the sound over the music, but he does, and a feeling of pride washes over Nicky, even though he had no part in bringing in the cookies. He’s just happy he improved Joe’s mood, even if it’s only a little. “You’re a lifesaver. I don’t know how I was going to last until the end of the dance.”

Nicky checks his phone, seeing that the dance is over in ninety minutes. “I can switch with you, if you want? You can take my spot here.” 

“Nah, it’s alright.” Joe shakes his head, eating the last bite of his first cookie. “‘M just being dramatic. Thank you, though.” Joe wraps his two remaining cookies in a napkin and puts them in his pocket, saving them for later. Joe starts to sway with the music, matching the pace of the song playing, occasionally bumping into Nicky, and Nicky can’t tell if it’s on purpose or not. Every part of Nicky wants it to be on purpose, wants Joe to want to touch him too, no matter how small the contact is, but Nicky doesn’t learn anything when he glances over at Joe. 

Joe is looking out onto the dance, a little smile on his face, like he doesn’t even know he’s smiling. “I miss school dances.” Joe says suddenly, making Nicky focus fully on him. “I miss getting dressed up, getting all excited to dance with your friends or maybe even someone you liked. The embarrassing moments with your parents before the dance started.” Nicky bites his lip when Joe says  _ someone you liked _ , but nods along with what he’s saying, sensing that Joe has more to say and not wanting to interrupt. “But now that I’m an adult and I can see it like this… I think I like school dances even more.” 

“Why?” Nicky says, feels like it comes out like a whisper, but Joe definitely hears him.

Joe takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, shrugs like he doesn’t know where he’s going with all this, but he clearly does. “I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been a teacher for so long or because I’ve been teaching  _ these  _ kids for so long, but I like seeing them happy. I think it’s funny to see them try and act older than they are, seeing them so carefree and excited. Kind of reminds me when I was a kid.” 

Nicky can’t take his eyes off Joe, in his beautiful suit and his gentle eyes and his little smile, the lights from the dance occasionally flashing over his face and illuminating his expression even more. Nicky searches Joe’s face, trying to see if he’s sad or upset after his little speech, but Nicky doesn’t think he is. Joe just looks purely nostalgic, not in a bad way, but like he’s happy that these kids can experience all that too. 

Nicky opens his mouth to respond to that, to say something reassuring or agreeing, but the song changes and Joe’s face instantly changes, goes from nostalgic to elated. Joe turns to him with a big smile, lightly bouncing on his feet. “Nicky, oh my God!”

“What?” Nicky says, his brain lagging from processing how  _ cute _ Joe looks right now, how Nicky only wants to see him this happy forever. 

“The song!” Joe says, like that would clear things up for Nicky or make him magically know the song. “C’mon, you don’t know this song?”

Nicky takes a second to listen to the song, not recognizing the pop song playing. Nicky grimaces, an apology on the tip of his tongue even though he doesn’t know why he’s apologizing. Joe’s eyes widen when it’s clear Nicky doesn’t know the song, a hand coming up to cover his mouth in shock. 

“It’s not that big of a deal, Joe. It’s just a song.”   


Joe looks so offended by what Nicky just said, looks like Nicky just told him that he hated everything he’s ever personally made or touched. “ _ Just  _ a song? Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepson is not  _ just a song _ .”

“What’s so special about it?” Nicky says, still watching Joe, now dancing a little bit next to Nicky. Joe is just kind of rocking side to side and making coordinated movements with his feet, but it looks restrained, like he wants to move more out of the restrictions he’s made for himself. Nicky still can’t take his eyes off him. 

“I can’t explain it, just- c’mon, come dance with me!” Joe says, holding out his hand for Nicky to take to the dance floor. Joe has a tentative smile on his face, like he’s worried that Nicky will say no to him, like Nicky isn’t into the idea of dancing with Joe. Nicky is  _ so _ into the idea, Nicky wants more than anything to take Joe’s hand and dance with him, but…

“I don’t dance.” Nicky says with a wince, hating to disappoint Joe in any way, even though this is for the best. Nicky doesn’t think he could take the embarrassment of dancing in front of Joe, doesn’t know if he could survive seeing Joe after this dance if he actually  _ danced _ . Nicky is awkward at best when he dances, has never been sure what to do with his hips or his arms, no matter how much he tries to learn. 

Joe apparently doesn’t share his worries. “Everyone can dance, Nicky. I’ll show you.” Joe jerks his hand in front of Nicky again, encouraging Nicky to take his hand. Nicky has a second to think about how it would feel to hold Joe’s hand, to tangle his fingers with Joe’s, to feel its warmth and solidness, and Nicky throws out any potential embarrassment and takes Joe’s hand. Joe beams at him and tightens his hand around Nicky’s, leading him to the dance floor. 

Nicky feels vaguely uncomfortable about dancing around students, but Joe doesn’t bring them into the middle of the dance floor, just keeps them on the edges of all the students. Joe turns them to face each other, singing along to the lyrics with a smile on his face, “ _ Where you think you're going, baby? _ ”, before immediately jumping to the next lyrics, singing loudly. Nicky smiles back at him, feeling less awkward already, pleased that Joe is still holding his hand. 

Nicky, true to his word, doesn’t know how to dance, and just rocks his body a little to the music. Joe is essentially doing the same thing, moving his body to the music, but it just looks more fluid than Nicky will ever achieve. Nicky can’t take his eyes off how Joe’s dancing, how Joe is so confident in his movements, how happy he looks. Joe smirks at Nicky, pulling him closer by his hand. “Look, just- relax a little.”   


Joe coaches him a little more, tells him to just listen to the music and _feel_ _it_ , but it doesn’t really help Nicky. Joe doesn’t let go of his hand for any of it, just lets their arms hang next to their bodies even though it would have been helpful during Joe’s coaching for him to let go. Joe makes no move to ever let go of Nicky’s hand, and Nicky certainly isn’t going to drop Joe’s hand for anything. Nicky has never been so happy while dancing, has never smiled so much doing something he was objectively bad at. Nicky gets flashes of them dancing in a different setting-- slow dancing together, pressed close, his hand resting on Joe’s lower back and Joe’s arm wrapped around his shoulders; the two of them dancing in a club, Joe’s back to Nicky’s chest. (Nicky cuts that thought off at the root, can’t have it playout while he’s at a school dance.)

Joe sings out the next part of the song, a big smile on his face, looking directly at Nicky the entire time. Nicky bops along to the song too, picking up the lyrics quickly, singing along with Joe quietly, a smile on his own face. Nicky tries not to read into Joe’s eye contact, tries not to connect it to the lyrics in any way, but it’s difficult not to. Nicky’s brain, usually so full of thoughts of Joe and his crush on Joe, can’t bring itself to focus on anything but the possibilities, the chance that Joe might like him back. 

_ Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy _

_ But here's my number, so call me maybe _

_ It's hard to look right at you, baby _

_ But here's my number, so call me maybe _

At one point, Joe brings his other hand up to Nicky’s waist for a second, probably to show him how to move in a particular way, but by the time he realizes what he’s doing, it’s too late, and his hand is already on Nicky’s waist. Joe gets a panicked look on his face, but before he can say anything, Nicky shakes his head and leans into his touch. If Joe is offering, Nicky isn’t going to turn him away.

Joe searches Nicky’s face for a moment, but then he pulls Nicky closer just a little bit, just enough for the energy to change between the two of them. The song slows down, causing Joe to slow his movements, making Nicky slow down too. Nicky’s breath catches in his throat, waiting for Joe to do something else, to do something more with his hand on Nicky’s waist. All they’re doing is standing there, but it’s making Nicky’s heart race, making butterflies erupt in his stomach, making him feel like he’s a boy dealing with his first crush again. 

_ Before you came into my life, I missed you so bad _

_ I missed you so bad _

_ I missed you so, so bad _

_ Before you came into my life, I missed you so bad _

_ And you should know that _

_ So call me maybe _

Joe looks down with a bashful smile on his face, takes a deep breath, and looks back to Nicky with a familiar confident look. The song is clearly ending, little twinkling notes playing throughout the gym, and Joe winks at Nicky before he slowly raises their joined hands above Nicky. Nicky is barely done processing the wink before his brain registers that Joe wants to  _ twirl _ him, wants the final part of their dance to be something that is considered (at best) vaguely romantic. Nicky blushes, thankful for the darkness of the gym, his brain scrambling to deal with the wink and the twirl at the same time. Joe gives him an encouraging look before he spins his arm gently around Nicky’s head, keeping his other hand on Nicky’s waist, letting Nicky’s body spin against his palm on Nicky’s body. 

Nicky makes his way back to Joe, ends the twirl scrambling to take in Joe’s expression. Joe looks-- he looks so  _ open _ , so breathtakingly beautiful and warm, letting a gentle smile grow on his face the longer Nicky stares at him, his eyes becoming the brightest thing in the room. Nicky thinks about kissing Joe then, thinks about just doing it, because there is no way Nicky is interpreting this incorrectly, no way that Nicky is reading too much into this. Joe is still holding Nicky with both his hands, seems to have no intention of letting Nicky go anytime soon, and Nicky… all the little excuses he’s created for himself to not ask Joe out fall away.

Nicky licks his lips, not entirely sure if it’s on purpose or not, lets his eyes flick down to Joe’s lips for just a second, steps barely closer to Joe, and he’s  _ so close _ to kissing Joe when he hears a group of little giggles come from behind Joe. Nicky rips his gaze away from Joe’s face and finds a group of girls staring at Joe, giggling and whispering to themselves as they clearly talk about Joe. 

Nicky falls away from Joe, falls out of Joe’s hands, and composes himself in a way that he hopes isn’t obvious, boxes up his disappointment to be dealt with later. Nicky doesn’t look at Joe, doesn’t think he could handle seeing Joe’s expression right now, keeps his focus anywhere but Joe’s face and his eyes. “I, uh, think you have some admirers over there.” 

Nicky points subtly behind Joe, and Joe turns around to see the girls. The group of girls promptly panic when Joe looks over at them, lightly screaming and turning in on their group to form a huddle. While Joe is turned away from him, Nicky takes a deep breath and runs a hand over his face, gathering himself in the precious seconds he has. Nicky could run out of the room with some flimsy excuse, but that would be too obvious, too clear that whatever just happened with Joe is what’s upsetting him. 

Joe turns back around to face him, not worried about the girls. “Nicky-” Joe starts, a sad look on his face, but he just shakes his head, still avoiding eye contact with Joe. Nicky feels Joe’s eyes on him, can practically feel his worry as Nicky closes in on himself, but Nicky can’t deal with that now. Nicky let himself believe he could kiss Joe, believed he could have what he’s wanted for months, no matter how briefly, but it just...disappeared. Nicky knows that it’s a bad idea to pursue Joe, remembers all his excuses as to why it would be bad to ask Joe out or date him, and pretends that it doesn’t make his heart feel heavy. 

“I should get back to the snack table. I don’t need Andy throwing around any more threats.” Nicky finishes with a laugh that sounds weak to his own ears, and Joe gets out a little “Okay” before Nicky is taking off, leaving Joe on the dance floor. 

Nicky closes his eyes briefly as he walks back to his table, taking a few more deep breaths to gather himself. It’s fine, he’s been going like this for months, he can keep going like this until his crush fades or he finds someone else to like. Nicky throws around empty excuses for himself until he gets behind the snack table, reorganizing the snacks after the kids made a mess in his absence. Nicky tries to keep his eyes off Joe, but he eventually caves and sees Joe standing with Booker against the back wall, watching the students dance. Nicky could have sworn Booker was still monitoring the parking lot, but maybe Andy had him come back inside at some point now that the dance was winding down. 

Nile eventually comes and stands with him behind the snack table, presses against his side until their shoulders are touching. She doesn’t say anything for a while, just eats some snacks and stands with Nicky, and Nicky is forever grateful for it. Nile eventually nudges his shoulder with her own shoulder, waiting to speak until Nicky looks at her. “You wanna talk about it?”

Nicky shakes his head, not bothering to pretend like he doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Nicky knows she knows about his crush, has known ever since she made a point to bring it up wherever she could, but Nicky can’t find the energy to play dumb. “Not now. But thank you.” 

Nile hums, not saying anything else but not leaving his side either. Nicky offers her a little smile in thanks, thanks for being there and for being a good friend and understanding, and Nicky hopes it all comes across in his smile. Nile nods at him with her own little smile, so Nicky figures she gets it. 

Nicky will get over this, will come into work tomorrow and make sure everything is fine with Joe, make sure that there is no awkwardness between the two of them. Joe has become one his closest friends since he started here, and Nicky would hate to lose that over an almost moment. Their little dance was fun, Joe was excited and happy over his song, and enjoying dancing, and Nicky just got caught up in the moment, got caught up in the dramatics of it all. Nicky brings himself out of his thoughts to talk to the kids who come up to the snack table, stays focused for the rest of the dance to make sure that it goes well for the students and Quynh. 

~~~

Winter break comes sooner than any of them expected, and soon Joe is packing up his special brushes for his art program and Nicky is sitting in Joe’s high school classroom, grading exams and listening to Joe’s soft pop playlist play quietly throughout his classroom. There are a couple of students working on their final projects in the classroom, Joe giving them all the extra time they need, but they aren’t paying any attention to Nicky or Joe, only glancing over at Joe when they need his help. 

Nicky is sitting at Joe’s desk, occasionally looking around the desk to take in all the sticky notes and little drawings and clay statues placed around the desk. The sticky note to Nicky’s right, where Nicky’s wrist rests on the desk, is filled with a list of things Joe still needs to pack for his trip to DC, and Nicky thinks the list is surprisingly long for someone who leaves in two days. 

Joe had told them he had been accepted when they were all hanging out in the teachers lounge before first period, drinking their coffee or tea to stay awake. Joe said it casually, like it wasn’t a big deal or something to be celebrated, like he wanted it to be something that was just mentioned in their morning and then they all move on. They were all silent for a second, processing what Joe told them, and then they all stand up quickly and congratulate him, pulling him into hugs and telling him how proud of him they all were. (Nicky will never forget what it was like to hug Joe, to have Joe’s arms around him and Joe whispering “thank you” close to Nicky’s ear when Nicky told him congratulations.) 

“Hey.” Nicky says, abandoning his exams and spinning in the chair to face Joe. Joe looks up from what he was doing, carefully putting his paint brushes back in their original box and putting them in his bag, planning to take them to DC in case he hates their paint brushes. “Don’t you think-”

The words die on Nicky’s lips, his sentence trailing off as he stares behind Joe, stares at a wall of Joe’s room covered in art, stares at  _ his  _ art (if Nicky could call it that), sees his shark painting from months ago taped to Joe’s wall. Nicky blinks, his mouth falling open in shock. How long has that been there? Why did Joe keep it? Why did Joe bring it fro his elementary school classroom to his high school room? Why is it on his  _ wall _ ?

“What? Do I think what?” Joe asks, quickly looking behind himself for what could be distracting Nicky. He doesn’t notice Nicky’s painting, so Nicky brings it up in the worst way possible. 

“That’s my shark.” In Nicky’s defense, his brain is still trying to process that Joe  _ kept  _ his painting, that Joe thought it was important or special enough to hang on the wall. Joe looks at him like Nicky is in need of medical attention immediately, so Nicky points at the wall behind Joe. “That painting-- I did that, months ago. The shark.” 

Joe turns around to look, but Nicky already saw the starting of a blush on Joe’s face before he could turn his back to Nicky. Joe turns back around with a sheepish smile on his face, unsure about what to say to Nicky. “I...yeah, it’s yours.”

“You kept it?” Nicky picks his first question carefully, like if he asks too many questions at one time they won’t all be answered. 

“Yeah, you left it for me.” Joe says, like it should be obvious that anything Nicky left or made for Joe would be kept, valued. “You put it on my desk with the...the sticky note.” Joe takes a deep breath during his pause, scratching at the back of his neck like he would rather have kept that part to himself. 

“You kept the little note I wrote you, too?” Nicky asks, not even really sure what he wrote down. He remembers it was something nice about Joe’s students, but that’s about it. Joe nods and sighs again, walks over to the painting and takes it off the wall. Nicky thinks Joe is giving it back to him, that his shock and questions made Joe believe that Nicky wants it back, and Nicky stomach twists up at the idea. 

Joe holds out the painting in front of Nicky, and Nicky takes the second to look it over again before Joe flips the paper over, his sticky note taped to the back of the painting. Nicky was right, the sticky note says something about how creative and wonderful Joe’s students are and how Nicky hopes he has fun on his field trip, but Nicky doesn’t really care about what the note says. Nicky cares about the fact that Joe  _ saved  _ it, taped it to the back of his painting so the two could never be separated, that Joe thought it was important enough to save. Nicky never expected Joe to keep either one of them, the note or the painting, but Joe is always surprising him. 

“I just didn’t think you would end up keeping these.” Nicky says as Joe takes his painting back to the wall, retapes it so it won’t fall down. Something settles in Nicky knowing that Joe is still keeping his painting and note. Nicky watches as Joe handles the painting with great care, holding the paper in both hands so carefully and making sure all four corners were stuck to the wall before coming back to Nicky. “I certainly didn’t think it would make it onto your wall.”

“Why not? It’s a good painting.” Joe says, using that voice again, like he doesn’t know why Nicky would think so little of his own work, like Joe is offended by Nicky’s words on Nicky’s behalf. 

Nicky scoffs and shakes his head with a little smile, trying to keep his smile at bay. It’s  _ not  _ a good painting, not even the best on that part of Joe’s wall, but Nicky likes that Joe thinks it’s good. “Are you doing anything special over break? Besides your art program.” Nicky asks, changing the subject, not sure how much more he could take of Joe complimenting his painting. 

“Uh, I don’t celebrate Christmas, but since I get the time off anyways I usually go to my parents house for a little bit. Some of my aunties and uncles come over too, just for a day or two.” Joe is back to packing his bag, his focus mostly on what else he’s taking to DC. Nicky takes the sticky note off his desk and hands it to Joe, who takes it with a grateful smile. 

“Well, that sounds nice.”

Joe shoots him a dry look and says, “It’s complete chaos. Someone is always fighting with someone else, and someone is getting a divorce, and Mama gets upset that someone didn’t like her food, and they always ask me when I’m going to get married.” Joe shakes his head and puts something in his bag with a little more force than necessary, and Nicky feels bad for bringing it up. “It makes me wish for my kindergarteners and a box of glitter.” 

Nicky makes a sympathetic noise and crosses his legs while sitting in Joe’s chair so he can grade his exams while still facing Joe. “Sorry I asked.”

“No, it’s fine. I love my family very much, but when they all come to my parent’s house at once it stresses me out.” Joe looks up at Nicky and takes a deep breath, lets it out slowly as he takes in how Nicky is sitting in his chair. Joe smiles at him before he puts some kind of oil in his bag. “What are you doing over break?”

“I’m going home to Italy for two weeks. I leave in a few days.” Nicky twirls his pen between his fingers, checking over one of his students answers. It’s not  _ wrong _ , the statistics could have been explained better in simple terms, but Nicky doesn’t want to give too harsh grades right before winter break, so he just makes a little note next to their answer explaining how they could have been more specific in terms of which group was most affected. “It’s just going to be the four of us-- me, Alessa, and my parents, so it’ll be nice to spend time together again.” 

Nicky flips the test closed and goes to start grading another one, but the next one he flips too is already done. He’s done grading exams, and that means he really should get to his computer and put in the final grades, and  _ then _ he should go home and pack for Italy, but instead Nicky stays with Joe until the last possible second, stays well past a normal hour while Joe waits for his students to finish their work. To kill time, Joe and Nicky play a less structured game of pictionary, where Joe starts to draw whatever comes to his mind on a sticky note and Nicky has to guess what he’s drawing. Nicky is not very good, but Joe keeps drawing new things for Nicky, smiles along with Nicky when he guesses correctly. 

They draw their goodbye out as long as possible, but when it’s dark outside and Joe’s final student leaves their classroom, they really have no reason to be there anymore. Joe eyes Nicky carefully before he steps right into Nicky’s personal space and wraps his arms around Nicky. Nicky sighs into Joe’s shoulder, takes a second to pray that Joe didn’t hear him, and wraps his arms tight around Joe in return. 

~~~

Joe texts Nicky  _ Merry Christmas Nicky _ with a Christmas tree emoji and a heart emoji on Christmas day, and Nicky smiles at his phone for so long that Alessa takes notice and tries to see what he’s smiling at. Nicky, who has a lot of practice keeping things out of reach from his younger sister, avoids her grabby hands and ignores her threats to tell Papà that Nicky is on his phone today when it’s supposed to be about family. 

_ Thank you Joe _

_ I hope you aren’t feeling too stressed out today _

Nicky is prepared to put his phone down and spend the rest of his day with his family, when suddenly his phone starts buzzing and Joe’s contact fills his screen. Joe is calling him. Nicky turns to Alessa and says, “I’ll go with you to that shoe store you like if you cover for me for ten minutes.” 

Alessa considers her offer and Nicky grips his phone tighter, silently begging her to come to a decision faster. Alessa narrows her eyes at him, evaluating him and thinking about Nicky’s offer. “The shoe store  _ and  _ you’ll buy me something at the bakery on our way home.”

“Deal.” Nicky says, ruffling her hair before he runs out of his living room and out the front door. Nicky quickly accepts the call and sits down on his front steps, looking over his silent street. 

“Hi, Joe.” Nicky wraps his arms around himself the best he can while on the phone, debating going back inside to get his jacket but ultimately not willing to risk getting caught on the phone. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, course. I just wanted to, uh…” Joe trails off, and Nicky hears a click and a sudden lack of background noise, like Joe is also hiding out somewhere so he can talk in private. Joe huffs a laugh, and Nicky can just  _ picture  _ the way he’s smiling now, looking down and rubbing the back of his neck. “I actually don’t know why I called you.” 

“Oh.” Nicky scuffs his shoe against a step, not sure how to take that. Nicky misses Joe, no question about it, and he had thought that Joe missed him a little too. That Joe called him because he misses seeing Nicky multiple times a week, misses hanging out with Nicky during free periods or office hours or in between classes. Missed him enough to randomly call him and talk about nothing for a few minutes. “If you don’t-”

“No, no- not like that. I  _ do  _ want to talk to you.” Joe rushes to say, and something in Nicky’s chest unwinds. “I just didn’t have anything specific to talk to you about.” 

“Oh.” Nicky says again, but this time it’s with a happier note. Maybe Joe does miss him a little. “How, um, how are you doing with all your family there?” Nicky remembers how Joe got slightly tense when he brought up his family visiting, and Nicky wants to make sure he’s doing okay, that he knows he can vent to Nicky if he needs to. 

“Yeah, I’m good. I’ve been hiding out in the kitchen with Baba for a little bit, so that’s helped. He’s been teaching me a few secret family recipes to keep us busy.” 

“Yeah? What kind of recipes?” Nicky asks, hugging his knees to his chest now to try and stay warm. 

“They’re  _ secret _ recipes for a reason, Nicky. I can’t just tell you.” Joe says, and Nicky can just picture the grin on his face, can see his dimples and how happy he looks to be teasing Nicky. 

“You can’t even tell me what you’re making?” Nicky knows he’s smiling at his shoes, knows that he must look ridiculous right now, but he can’t bring himself to care. Nicky had a little fear that their conversation would be awkward, that they wouldn’t be able to talk like they do in person over the phone, but he’s glad to be proven wrong. 

“Sorry, rules are rules.” Joe sighs deeply, being dramatic on purpose, Nicky knows. “I can’t be the one who ruins the family secrets after eighty-two years. I have to leave something for my cousins.” 

“You’ll just have to save some for me then, for when we go back to work.” It’s out of Nicky’s mouth before he’s even thought about it, and he instinctively closes his eyes in embarrassment. What he said wasn’t embarrassing really, but the  _ way _ he said it, soft and gentle and  _ obvious _ . 

Joe is silent for a second, and then another. Nicky is about to make some excuse to hang up, but then Joe says, “Yeah, I guess I will have to save some for you.” in a similar, if not the same, tone Nicky used. 

Nicky presses his forehead to his knees, overcome with how much he’s enjoying their short, stupid phone call. Nicky hasn’t felt this many butterflies in his stomach while talking on the phone since he was a little boy, twirling the cord of the landline around his finger as he made plans with a classmate. Nicky picks his head up off his knees, looks around his childhood street at thirty years old, and wonders how Joe can make him feel like he’s still thirteen again, praying that a boy liked him back. “I’ll bring you back something too, then. Just so we are even.” 

“Oh, of course. So we’re even.” Joe says, sarcastically but with an obvious smile, his happiness basically cutting out any of the intended sarcasm. There’s some commotion on Joe’s end, what sounds like a door opening and someone speaking in Arabic, and then Joe responds in Arabic too. Nicky listens, not understanding a word of it, just likes the sound of Joe’s voice. The door on Joe’s end closes and he sighs. “I have to go. Mama doesn’t approve of me hiding out in my old room to call you.” 

Nicky is suddenly flooded with thoughts of what Joe’s childhood bedroom looked like, what posters he had on the walls, if he had any awards or trophies from school or sports, if there was any of his art from when he was a kid in his room. Nicky bites his tongue to keep quiet, to prevent himself from asking for pictures or a description of the room. “That’s okay, I should probably go too.”

They’re silent for a moment, neither of them knowing how to say goodbye, or in Nicky’s case, not wanting to say goodbye. Joe is the one to say goodbye first. “Bye, Nicky. See you soon.”

“Bye, Joe.” Nicky ends the call with a sign and ends up staying on his front steps a little longer than necessary. He’s missed being home, missed his street and the familiar houses and being able to hear Mamma cook through the open windows, missed how something inside of him just  _ settles _ when he’s home, when the wind brings the salt smell of the sea to his neighborhood. Nicky pushes off the steps with a groan, slightly worried about how much his knees crack when he stands up. 

As soon as Nicky walks back inside, Alessa is asking him questions. Nicky barely has time to lock the door before she drags him back to the couch so they can talk. “Who were you talking to? And why were you smiling so much?”

“Were you watching me?” Nicky shouldn’t be surprised at this point, but he didn’t expect Alessa to spy on him while he was talking on the phone. They weren’t children anymore, and surely Alessa has other, better things to occupy her time now. 

Alessa widens her eyes and raises her eyebrows like that shouldn’t even be a question. “Obviously.” Nicky sighs and falls further into the couch cushions, hoping that they’ll swallow him whole. “Do you have a new lover?”

Nicky closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “Please don’t ever call someone my lover again.” Before Alessa can get any ideas, Nicky quickly says, “And no, I don’t have a boyfriend.” 

Alessa makes a disbelieving humming noise, but drops it. Maybe he’ll tell her about Joe later, when he’s feeling a little less emotionally charged, when their parents aren’t on the other side of the very thin wall dividing the living room and the kitchen. Alessa drops her head onto Nicky’s shoulder, and Nicky looks over at her, curled up on her side of the couch, using Nicky as a pillow. 

“I missed you.” Alessa whispers, staring straight ahead, not a chance of her making eye contact with Nicky right now. Nicky smiles down at her, rests his own head on top of hers. Nicky picks up a blanket from the back of the couch and throws it over the both of them, making sure Alessa got a bigger portion of the blanket wrapped around her. 

“I missed you, too.” Nicky whispers back, still resting his head on top of Alessa’s. The two of them sit together, not speaking, just listening to Mamma and Papà argue over how much garlic to put in the sauce, like they do every year, until they reach a compromise of three cloves, like they do every year. Nicky missed everything about home, but he did miss Alessa especially, even if she can’t take his sincerity for more than a few minutes. 

“Because, you know, you leave me here with Mamma and Papà,  _ alone _ , and they come to me for everything now, so it would be nice if you picked up the slack-” 

Nicky throws his portion of the blanket over her face, Alessa cutting herself off with a little scream. It might be his best Christmas yet. 


	6. january

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well that makes sense. Joe minored in stats in college.” Nile says casually, like she isn’t telling Nicky important, new, life changing information. Nicky wants to ask a million follow-up questions, but Nile has other responsibilities. “I’ve gotta get back to my class, we’ll talk later?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was one of the first things i wrote for this fic and the main idea of this chapter is one of my favorites of all time so i especially hope u all like this

**_January_ **

Nicky is having a terrible, awful day, and there is no way around it. He doesn’t like to be so negative first thing in the morning, but the hour that he’s been awake has been less than ideal. For one thing, he overslept by so much more than he normally allows himself, so he was already going to be late to work without the traffic he’s currently sitting in. 

Nicky tightens his grip on his steering wheel, breathing through the frustration of being forced to sit still when he knows he’s going to be late. Nicky shifts to look down the highway, trying to see if any cars are moving or if there is any hope of them moving soon. They’re not. 

Nicky sighs and pulls his phone out of his bag on the passenger seat and picks Nile’s contact to call. Nicky could call Copley and tell him he was going to be late, but there’s still a chance, however small, that he might make it to work on time. Nicky would rather not have Copley know he’s going to be late if he doesn’t absolutely have to. The line only rings a few times before Nile picks up, who immediately tells him to wait before he speaks. 

Nicky waits since that’s the  _ only _ thing he can do right now. Nicky hears what he assumes are cabinets opening and a coffee mug being placed on the counter and is ready to wait a little while longer. Nicky knows Nile likes to have at least half a cup of coffee before she talks to anyone in the morning. 

“Okay, sorry. What’s up? I haven’t seen you at work this morning.” Nile says, making Nicky smile at the knowledge that Nile noticed he wasn’t around like he usually is. 

“About that…” Nicky sighs. “I think I’m going to be late to work. If I’m not there in time for first period, can you tell admin to send a substitute to my class, please?” 

“Oh, shit. Yeah, I can do that.” Nile says, and there’s some commotion on the other end of the line that worries Nicky, but Nile just keeps talking. “Did something happen this morning?”

“I’m stuck in traffic on the highway, and I may have overslept this morning.” Nicky mumbles the last part, hoping that Nile won’t hear him perfectly and just move on, but Nicky was stupid to think that would ever happen. 

“Ooh, Nicky, that’s not a good way to start the morning.” Nile teases him, and Nicky just rolls his eyes and accepts it. “You really should wake up at the same time every day.” 

Before Nicky can respond, he hears more commotion and another voice on the other end of the line. Nicky tries to listen more closely, but all he can hear is a hissing voice and the occasional thud. “Oh my God,” Nile says suddenly. “Nicky, Joe says hi.  _ And _ good morning.” Nile adds the last part after Nicky hears another voice in the background, who he now knows is Joe.

Nicky smiles at his steering wheel, picturing Joe pestering Nile until she told Nicky hi. Nicky suddenly doesn’t feel so bad about sitting in traffic. “Tell Joe I say good morning and hi back.” 

“Nicky says hi and good morning. You can just call him after, you know that, right?” Nile says, and Nicky assumes the end question was directed at Joe after Nile is silent for too long and Nicky hears Joe talking to Nile. Nicky tries to listen closely and figure out what Joe is saying, but he can’t hear anything specific. 

There is some shuffling through the phone, Nicky hears Nile groan, and then Nicky can hear Joe much more clearly. “Hi, Nicky. It’s Joe.” 

“Hi, Joe.” Nicky says dumbly, smiling again. Joe must have been bothering and fighting with Nile to give him her phone so he could talk to Nicky. The fact that Joe couldn’t wait a few minutes for Nile to hang up and then call Nicky himself has Nicky’s heart beating a little faster than it should be. 

“I looked it up, and there was an accident on the highway. I don’t think you’re gonna make it in time for first period.” Joe says, and Nicky sighs. Nicky had hoped to make it in time for first period, but he knew it was a long shot. 

“Is it a bad accident?” Nicky asks, wondering if anyone was hurt. He would feel even worse if he was complaining about being late to work when someone was injured from the accident. 

“Uh, hold on. I’ll keep reading.” Joe mumbles. Nicky sits in silence for a few moments, listening to Joe’s breathing and the sound of stand-still traffic around him. “It doesn’t say anyone was hurt, so that’s probably a good sign?” 

“Yeah, probably.” Nicky says distractedly, checking to see if any cars are moving ahead of him yet. Nicky knows he only gets more disappointed every time he looks and sees no one moving, but he can’t help it. 

“Do you want me to check what subs are available?” Joe asks, and Nicky quickly accepts his offer with a thank you. Nicky knows this is a very last minute pick, but if he can choose someone he knows is good from whoever is left, maybe his students can have a reasonably okay first period. “Nile is checking for you now. She wouldn’t let me use her computer.”

Nicky hears Nile tell Joe “Be happy I’m doing this at all. I could have made you walk all the way back to your classroom so you could impress your-”, but Joe cuts her off with a rushed “ _ Shh!” _ , and then Nicky hears nothing. Nicky waits, but when he’s been waiting for a suspiciously long time for a phone call, he pulls the phone away from his ear to check that the call didn’t drop before he says “Joe? You still there?”

“Yeah, sorry about that. Nile’s room is, um, kind of a dead zone.” Joe says, and Nicky hears Nile cackle suspiciously loudly. Nicky has never had any problems with his phone in Nile’s room, and the rest of their conversation was coming in fine, but Nicky has other things to worry about than that train of thought. 

“So, the substitutes?” Nicky asks, hoping to lead them back to normal conversation territory. “Who is available?” 

“Uh, about that…” Joe trails off, not giving Nicky any more information. Nicky’s stomach drops, assuming there are no more substitutes available and no one will be able to watch his students. Not that they really need to be  _ watched _ , since they’re all seniors in his first period, but rules are rules. “What if we call the college nearby and ask if they can send someone over? I’m sure they have an overachiever who would love to take advantage of this opportunity.” 

“I don’t think that’s allowed. Is there really no one available?” 

Joe’s suspicious silence returns, but Nicky is able to hear background noise this time. Like, Nile’s scoff and demand for the phone as she calls Joe ridiculous. “Nicky, there is someone available, but it’s William.” 

Nicky lets his head  _ thunk _ against his steering wheel, not sparing a second to worry about the red mark it’s going to leave, because he’s going to be stuck in traffic for hours so it’ll fade in time when he makes it to work  _ tomorrow _ . “I have not heard good things about him, Nile.” 

“Yeah, that’s because he’s a fucking dick, Nicky.” 

Nicky doesn’t even blink at how Nile describes William, because  _ yeah _ , that’s what Nicky has heard about the man. Nicky has never personally met William, but he’s heard horror stories from other teachers and from his students. From what Nicky has gathered from other people’s conversations, William is anywhere between eighty-five and one hundred years old, he’s too strict and harsh with the students, he always leaves a negative note for the teacher at the end of the day no matter how the class behaved, and he tells strange stories that make the students uncomfortable. Nicky would rather chop off his own arm than subject his students to that.

“No, I like Joe’s idea. Let’s get a student from the university and give them two hundred dollars to just sit and take attendance until I get there.” 

Nicky hears Joe shout “ _ Ha _ ! It was a good idea.” to Nile through the phone, and for a moment he forgets about how he’s going to be late for work and how he will probably have to send in a terrible substitute to his students. Nicky is glad that he’s alone, though. He would never want anyone to see the stupid smile that spills across his face when he hears how happy Joe sounded when Nicky said he liked his idea. 

“Nicky, c’mon. Just pick William, and then when you get here, you can tell him to get out of your classroom and let your students watch a movie for the rest of class.” Nile says. Nicky picks his head off the steering wheel and thinks about it, how it really is his only option at this point, no matter how terrible it makes him feel. 

Nicky groans and tells Nile, “Okay, pick William. I will apologize to my students when I can.” Nile hums and tells Nicky to wait while she sets everything up with William and the administrative offices. “Thank you for doing this, Nile. I owe you one.” 

“It’s really no problem. You wanna cash in on that favor now?” Nile asks, but Nicky doesn’t know how he would even begin to do that from his car. “Talk to Joe while I do this. He’s been bothering me to talk to you this whole time. 

“Oh, yeah, okay.” Nicky quickly agrees, because it’s not like talking to Joe is a hardship for Nicky. Talking to Joe is the exact opposite of a hardship, it’s usually the best part of Nicky’s day, so Nicky would never turn down the opportunity to talk to Joe. Especially when he’s stuck in traffic and is about to send an awful substitute to his students and could use a pick me up. 

“Hey, Nicky. Is traffic moving yet?” 

“No.” Nicky mumbles, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back against the headrest. Maybe if he keeps his eyes closed, he can trick himself into believing that he’s in the break room with Joe. “Have you ever used William as a substitute before?” 

Joe laughs, but it’s not even really a laugh, it’s basically just a controlled shout mixed with a snort. “No way.” 

“Oh, God.” Nicky groans, rethinking everything. “Maybe I shouldn’t-”

“No, no, Nicky.” Joe rushes to reassure him, even though the damage is already done. “It’s fine, really. There’s nothing you can do at this point, anyways.” 

“I don’t like that thought, but okay.” Nicky sighs, opening his eyes to see the line of cars ahead of him. Nicky takes a deep breath, letting all of his frustrations from the morning go, and focuses on a more important topic. “Were you really bothering Nile so you could talk to me?”

“I-well, I wouldn’t say I was  _ bothering _ her.” Nicky waits for the second half of Joe’s explanation with bated breath. “I just wanted to give you updates on the traffic, or- I just wanted to talk to you.” 

_ I just wanted to talk to you _ . 

“Oh.” Nicky whispers, feeling the blush spread across his face the more he replays Joe’s sentence in his head. Nicky would give anything to be able to see Joe’s right now, to see his expressions or how he’s holding himself. It’s not like it was entirely a secret to Nicky that Joe wanted to talk to him when Nile was on the phone, but to hear Joe say  _ I just wanted to talk to you _ is putting butterflies in his stomach. “I wanted to talk to you too.” 

“Yeah?” Joe asks, and he sounds so excited, and Nicky can just  _ picture _ how wide Joe’s smile is and how his eyes are shining. Nicky desperately wants to see him, wants to be next to Joe for this conversation, but he’ll settle for his imagination. 

“Yes, but that should not be such a surprise to you at this point.” Nicky thumbs at his steering wheel, trying to relax his heart rate to a normal speed. “I talk to you every morning now, so it would have thrown off my whole routine if I didn’t talk to you before first period.” 

“I didn’t know our morning conversations were so important to you that they were worked into your routine.” Immediately after Joe says that, Nicky hears Nile let out a long “ _ awww _ .”, which reminds Nicky that she’s still next to Joe and that their conversation isn’t totally just between the two of them. 

Nicky represses the strong urge to tell Joe “everything you do is important to me, everything  _ we _ do together is important to me.” and instead thinks about what Joe said a little more. Because  _ yeah,  _ their morning conversations aren’t really of any substance because Joe never seems fully awake and Nicky is too distracted by how cute he thinks Joe looks when he’s sleepy to contribute meaningfully to a conversation. Nicky holds all his morning, coffee dependent conversations with his coworkers close to his heart, but he knows that on the off chance he doesn’t see Joe in the morning, he feels that absence for the rest of the day. 

“Oh, hold on a second, Nicky.” Joe’s sudden comment brings Nicky back to reality enough to hear Joe and Nile talking. Nile says something about “disgustingly cute” and Joe says something about “obviously, but it’s private” before Joe gets back on the phone. “Hey, Nile sorted out everything for your sub, so you’re all set.”

“Oh, good. Tell her thank you for me, please.” Nicky listens to Joe relay the message with a little smile, enjoying Joe and Nile’s playful banter through the phone. Joe is interrupted by the warning bell for first period, and Nicky hears Joe sigh through the phone. 

“Nicky, that’s the-” 

“No, I know. Go, it’s okay.” Nicky doesn’t want to sit in traffic alone after having Nile and Joe to talk to, but it’s what he has to do. 

“Okay, talk to you later. Let me know when you get to school.” Joe says, and then he immediately hangs up, not giving Nile back the phone to say goodbye. Nicky puts his phone back in his bag next to him and looks through the windshield, getting used to his view for the foreseeable future. 

The foreseeable future ends up being only forty minutes and Nicky parks in his parking spot ten minutes before second period. Nicky rushes to park and grabs his bag, figuring he can make it to his classroom before first period is over and get William out of there. 

As if the universe is personally out to get him this morning, it starts raining as soon as he opens his car door. Not even a light rain, which Nicky would have gladly accepted at this point, but an absolute downpour that would soak through every layer he’s wearing by the time he reaches the front door. Nicky doesn’t even have an umbrella, since he didn’t have the time to check the weather this morning before he rushed out the door. 

Nicky groans and bites back a handful of swears as he grabs his jacket to hold over his head. Nicky makes sure his car is locked before he runs across the parking lot, the jacket hanging over his head doing nothing to protect him from the rain. Nicky bursts through the front door soaking wet and frustrated, resisting the urge to shake out the rain in his hair and clothes in the lobby. 

“Nicky!” Nicky picks his head up and finds Booker peeking his head out of the library doors, a smug smile on his face. “How’s your morning going?”

“Not now, Booker.” Nicky rolls his eyes and convinces himself to not walk over to Booker and shake himself dry right next to the man. “I need to go rescue my students from an evil substitute.” 

“Oh, yes, I heard all about it from Joe.” Now it’s Booker’s turn to roll his eyes, like listening to Joe complain on Nicky’s behalf was very taxing for him. It might have been, for all Nicky knows. “William is a real creep.” 

“You are not helping. Did you need something from me?” Nicky is still standing by the front doors, but every word out of Booker’s mouth is making Nicky reconsider his stance on not getting Booker wet. 

“Joe wanted to make sure you remembered to text him when you got in. He has a surprise for you.” Booker raises his eyebrows suggestively, and Nicky’s mind flashes through a hundred different surprises Joe might have for him. At least half of them are not appropriate for work. 

Nicky steps closer to Booker, curious at what the surprise could be. “What kind of surprise?”

Booker shakes his head firmly at Nicky’s question, but Nicky can tell he’s enjoying this. “I can’t tell you, I was sworn to secrecy.” Booker gives Nicky an expectant look, so Nicky pulls out his phone and texts Joe. 

_ I am very curious as to what this surprise is  _

“Happy now?” Nicky asks as he puts his phone back in his bag, wincing as he hears the wet sound it makes. 

“Horribly so.” Booker says with wide eyes and ducks back into his library. 

Nicky walks calmly down the hallway until he’s out of Booker’s line of sight and then he rushes down the rest of the hallway and up the stairs. Nicky knows there is no way Joe is at his classroom already, but the faster he gets upstairs, the faster he can get Willam away from his students. 

Nicky pushes through the stairwell door to the third floor and bursts into his classroom. Nicky watches his students faces go from boredom to shock to happiness. Nicky warms with the knowledge that his students are happy to see him, even if it might only be because they no longer have to deal with William. 

“William. Thank you for coming in last minute.” the  _ but you can leave now _ is unsaid but heavily implied, and Nicky hopes William is smart enough to take the hint. 

William stares at Nicky as he enters his classroom and takes off his coat and puts his jacket over the back of his chair. “Mr. di Genova. You’re wet.” 

“Yes, it’s raining.” Nicky resists the urge to roll his eyes and instead keeps his face neutral. He really is as weird and rude as everyone says. “And, please, call me Nicky.”

“A grown man should not have the name of a child.” William says as he collects his things to leave Nicky’s classroom. Nicky stares at him with wide eyes but bites his tongue. Nicky has so many things he would like to say to this man, at least five at the tip of tongue, but he doesn’t say any of them. They’re not things he would say in front of his students. 

Nicky takes a deep breath and walks William out of his classroom. “Again, thank you for coming in.” Nicky is so eager to get William out of his classroom that he doesn’t notice Joe standing right in his doorway, inches from where William stopped walking to prevent himself from running into Joe. 

Joe sticks his hand out for William to shake and Nicky does a double take at the gesture. Nicky considers himself a good and kind person, and he knows Joe is a kind, warm, thoughtful,  _ sweet _ man, but Nicky wouldn’t offer William his hand for anything. “Oh- hello, I’m Joe.”

“Joseph, nice to meet you. I’m William.” William takes Joe’s hand and Nicky stares daggers at it, knowing William doesn’t deserve Joe’s kindness and is irrationally jealous that William gets to have Joe’s hand in his. 

Joe takes his hand back and puts it in his pocket, standing tall. “Oh, no my name isn’t Joseph. It’s just Joe.” 

Nicky thinks William will just leave it at that and walk out of Nicky’s classroom, but Nicky should have known different. William opens his mouth and Nicky  _ knows _ , he knows what William is about to say, but Nicky isn’t quick enough. “A grown man should-”

“Yes, yes, we know. A grown man should not have the name of a child.” Nicky gestures William out of his classroom, and Joe backs up into the hallway to let William past him. Nicky turns back to his students and tells them to relax until the bell rings before he closes the door. “But a man of your age should know the value of kindness and politeness.” 

Nicky hears Joe try to hide his shocked laugh in a cough, but he doesn’t do a good job, and when Nicky glances his way it’s very obvious he wants to smile. Nicky lets a little smile show for Joe before he turns back to William, expression serious again. William huffs like he’s offended but he turns around and walks down the hallway, and Nicky thinks about letting him know the closest stairs are the other way, but he doesn’t. 

Nicky backs up until his body hits the lockers that line the walls and lets his head  _ thunk _ against them too. Nicky closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, but he opens them when he hears someone else rest against the lockers next to him. It’s obviously Joe, but Nicky still feels his breath catch at the sight of him so close. Nicky wants to trace his freckles. 

“Hi.” Nicky whispers, his head turned toward Joe. Nicky doesn’t know why he’s whispering, but Nicky can feel Joe’s arm pressed against his from how close he’s standing, and he feels like if he spoke at a normal volume he would ruin the moment. “I could really use that surprise right now.” 

“Well, I actually have two surprises for you. First…” Joe shoots Nicky a sweet smile and hands him a mug of tea that Nicky hadn’t noticed, and Nicky knows instantly it’s his secret tea he hid in the teacher’s lounge. He apparently didn’t hide it well enough. 

“I hid this. How did you find it?” Nicky asks, quickly taking a long sip from the mug. Nicky feels it warming him up from the inside, chasing away the chill his rain soaked clothes left behind. “Also, thank you.” 

“I hide my good coffee in the back of the same cabinet. I’ve known since the first day you brought it in.” Joe has a smug smile on his face that Nicky can’t take his eyes off of even if his life depended on it. “Also, you’re welcome.” 

Nicky feels his chest warm and expand at the gesture, at the thought Joe put into this, knowing that Nicky would appreciate the tea and Joe coming up here. Nicky does appreciate it, he values this and will hold this memory close to his heart for a long time. Nicky thumbs the label of the tea bag that’s wrapped around the mug handle and smiles. He doesn’t know if he’ll have the heart to throw it away later. 

“I think Andy has been stealing your coffee for a while.” Nicky shrugs, shifting his eyes to look at his students through the window in his door. From what he can see, they’ve clustered themselves into their friend groups and are talking and showing each other stuff on their phones. “Just so you know.”

“Yeah, I’m working on that.” Joe sighs, reaching for his back pocket. “Here is your second surprise. This one is much cuter.” 

Joe presents Nicky with a homemade card, a piece of orange construction paper folded in half. On the front, in neat block letters that are messily filled in with every color crayon imaginable, are the words  _ Sorry about your morning _ . Nicky opens the card slowly and sees messy handwriting wishing him a better morning, apologizing for the traffic, and hoping that the card would make him feel better. Nicky smiles at the kids well wishes and their big, sloppy handwriting. Nicky reads what he kids wrote more closely, laughing a little when the kids call him Mr. Nicky. Joe was right, this surprise is much cuter. 

“Did your students make this?” Nicky asks, turning to face Joe fully. Nicky searches Joe’s face, for what he’s not sure, but what he sees fills his heart with joy. Joe’s eyes are big and sparking and he’s smiling, but his mouth is scrunched up to the side, like he’s trying to contain his happiness for some stupid reason. Nicky would kill to be on the other end of Joe’s entire smile, to be able to see Joe’s eye crinkles and his dimples. 

“Speaking of your students, who is watching them right now?” Nicky asks distractedly, looking back to the card and reading more of what Joe’s students wrote. 

“Their teacher, it’s fine.” Joe says, throwing his hand to the side to wave the matter away. “But, yeah, they worked hard on it all morning. Each letter on the front was colored by a different kid.” Joe says, looking down at the card proudly. Nicky flips back to the front of the card and looks at the letters, understanding why the card was so intensely colorful now. “I did that, though.” 

Nicky turns the card over to look at the back of the card where Joe is pointing. Nicky’s face is going to be sore from how much he’s been smiling in the last few minutes. Joe drew Nicky’s morning in a comic book format, each event drawn in a neatly made box. First, Nicky is in his car, stuck looking at all the cars ahead of him, crying. Nicky looks back up at Joe and tells him “I wasn’t crying this morning.” 

“It was the artist's interpretation of the event at the time. It’s out of our hands now.” Joe shrugs, like he isn’t the artist and he didn’t draw this forty minutes ago. 

Nicky narrows his eyes at Joe but accepts it, returning his attention to Joe’s drawing. The second box is of Nicky and Booker talking across the lobby, where Nicky looks hopeful and Booker looks bothered. Booker has a speech bubble above his head with the caption “Surprise for you!” and Nicky has a handful of question marks over his head. Nicky is impressed with Joe’s accuracy when he wasn’t even there. 

The third, and final, box has Joe and Nicky together outside of Nicky’s classroom. In the drawing, Joe is handing Nicky his tea and the card at the same time, and Nicky is smiling wide with a little heart over his head. Nicky looks up from the card and back at Joe, taking in all Joe has done for him this morning. “I love it. Thank you.”

“Yeah? I’m glad.” Joe says, turning his own body to face Nicky. Both of their shoulders are pressed against the lockers now, they’re basically leaning into each other’s personal space at this point. Nicky would really only need to take a step or two to be entirely pressed against Joe. “I thought you might like it. I wanted to make sure at least one part of your morning went well.” 

Joe looks away and scratches his beard after he says that, but he still has that scrunched up smile on his face. Nicky desperately wants Joe to look back to him, if only so Nicky can see if Joe is actually blushing or if Nicky is just imagining that. Nicky bites his lower lip to keep his smile at bay, but it’s useless. 

“Hey.” Nicky says, waiting to continue until Joe was looking at him again. “This made my morning a hundred times better. It was incredibly thoughtful, so thank you, really.” If Nicky is being too sincere, even though he doesn’t think he is, it’s only because Nicky knows Joe likes to be verbally appreciated. Nicky has noticed how Joe lights up when someone tells Joe they like his art, how happy he gets when someone close to Joe tells him they love him. “You have gone so out of your way this morning, and you didn’t have to do any of this, but it really means a lot to me.” Nicky waits a beat before he continues, “Your drawings are incredible, like always, despite the inaccuracies.” 

Joe looks at him with what starts out as a small, disbelieving small but turns into the biggest smile Nicky has ever seen. Joe’s eye crinkles and dimples come out in full force, and if Nicky wasn’t already halfway in love with Joe, he would have been in that second. Nicky lets out a little breath, feeling truly relaxed for the first time all morning. 

“Are you doing anything after work?” Joe asks tentatively, twisting his ring around his finger. Nicky shakes his head, searching Joe’s face for any sign of why he might be nervous. Nicky’s traitorous brain hopes Joe is about to ask him on a date, but Nicky kills that idea quickly even though everything inside him is screaming  _ ask me, ask me, ask me. _ “I was wondering-”

Joe is interrupted by one of Nicky’s students, Emily, coming out of the classroom with Nicky’s bag. “Sorry. Mr. di Genova, your phone rang like, three times.” Emily holds out Nicky’s bag for him to take, looking vaguely uncomfortable the entire time she has the bag in her hands. 

“Oh, thank you Emily.” Nicky says, watching her duck back into his classroom quickly. Nicky grabs his phone without really looking, instead he turns back to Joe so he can finish whatever he was going to ask Nicky. “Sorry, what were you going to say?”

“It can wait, you can check who called you. In case it’s an emergency.” 

Nicky checks his phone, muttering “It’s my landlord” as he looks back to Joe, like he might know why his landlord is calling. Nicky’s stomach twists up, imagining every bad scenario which would cause his landlord to call him three times in a row. Nicky doesn’t have to wait anxiously for long, since his landlord picks up on the first ring and starts talking immediately. 

“Nicky. Is there any way you can make it back to your apartment now?” Nicky’s landlord, Oliver, asks. Oliver sounds panicked and like he’s near running water, which does absolutely nothing to ease Nicky’s nerves. 

“I’m at work right now. What’s wrong?” Nicky runs a hand through his hair, pushing it away from his forehead. Nicky sees Joe mouth “is everything okay?”, but Nicky just shrugs his shoulders with wide eyes. 

“A pipe burst on your floor. It would be great if you could make it back as soon as possible.” Oliver says before he lets a few swears slip. If Nicky didn’t feel like the floor just fell out from under him, he would have been impressed with the creativity of Oliver’s choice words. 

“Alright, okay.” Nicky says tensely, trying to quickly come up with a last minute plan for his students. “I’ll be there soon, okay.” Nicky hangs up quickly, picking his bag up off the floor and shoving his phone back in it. 

“Is everything okay? Are  _ you _ okay?” Joe asks, putting a gentle hand on Nicky’s arm. Joe’s eyes are searching Nicky’s face, looking for any kind of clue as to what Nicky is feeling or what is making him panic. Nicky focuses on Joe’s hand on his arm, letting the warmth and pressure ground him enough to answer Joe’s question. 

“Uh, a pipe burst in my building. I- I have to go there now.” Nicky runs both his hands through his hair now, unfortunately dislodging Joe’s hand. Joe’s eyes widen and his mouth drops open slightly, surprised by the cause of Nicky’s stress. “I don’t- what am I going to do about my students? I’m going to have to call William back, right?” 

“Nicky, Nicky-” Joe starts, but he’s already pulling up his phone again to call the administration offices to see if they can get William back upstairs. A little part of Nicky dies inside knowing that he  _ needs _ William to come back, but Nicky pushes that part of himself aside right now. No one picks up the phone at the front desk, and Nicky is about to call back when Joe’s hand wraps around his own, preventing his fingers from moving. 

Nicky’s head snaps up so fast he almost clips Joe’s nose with his forehead. Joe backs up a little bit but doesn’t take his hand off Nicky’s, instead squeezing it a little tighter. “Go, I’ll take care of this.” Joe looks so earnest and sincere, looking at Nicky so intensely that Nicky feels his breath catch in his throat. 

Nicky shakes his head quickly, not accepting Joe’s offer. “No, no, I can’t ask you to do that for me. You have your own work, you have  _ classes _ -” 

“You’re not asking, I’m offering, Insisting, really. I can take care of this, just go.” Joe insists, and Nicky debates with himself before he lets himself leave. Nicky doesn’t really have the time to call the administration offices back, for all their niceness they are sometimes unreliable with the phones, and his apartment is probably flooding more and more the longer he waits. On the other hand, Joe has already done so much for Nicky this morning, and Nicky can’t have him skip out on his own responsibilities because Nicky is having bad luck today. But Nicky doesn’t have  _ time.  _

“You promise it won’t be an inconvenience for you?” Nicky checks, making sure one last time that this isn’t getting in the way of Joe’s plans for the day. 

“Yes, I promise.” Joe says, practically pushing Nicky toward the stairs by the shoulders. “Just come back when you can.” 

Nicky turns around to look at Joe one last time before he leaves. Joe looks sure in his decision and honest, like he really isn’t messing up his day to cover for Nicky. Nicky sighs and grips Joe’s arms, a little bit above each elbow. “You’re a lifesaver, thank you. I promise I will make all of this up to you somehow.” 

Nicky rushes down the stairs with the memory of Joe’s smile when Nicky called him a lifesaver in his mind. Nicky drives back to his apartment at a dangerous speed, but once he makes it inside his building and is stopped at the first floor, it’s clear there has been a mistake. Nicky lives on the third floor, but  _ Nicholas _ , who goes by Nick, lives on the first floor, which is where the pipe burst. Oliver got their nicknames confused in his haste to call the people who live on the first floor, mistaking Nicky for Nicholas. Oliver realizes his mistake as soon as he lays eyes on Nicky and apologizes profusely, reassuring Nicky that his apartment is fine and he’s okay to go back to work. 

Nicky walks back to his car calmly, more relieved that his apartment is dry than frustrated that he rushed to his apartment for nothing. He  _ is _ frustrated that his morning has been nothing short of disastrous, but he’s trying to put everything into perspective. His apartment could actually be flooding, for one thing. Once Nicky gets in the driver's seat, he closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths, letting go of the tension and stress this morning has left in his body and starts driving back to work. 

Nicky is a few blocks from school when he sees the corner store, so Nicky makes what is probably an illegal U-turn and pulls into the parking lot. Nicky makes sure he has his wallet on him before he goes into the store, returning the smile and polite greeting the woman at the front counter gives him. Nicky walks around the aisles for a while, searching for any little things he thinks Joe might like. Just by chance, Nicky sees the fancy gel pens Nile loves, so he picks up a few packs to thank her for this morning too. 

Nicky checks out quickly and finishes his drive back to school. Nicky takes the stairs that lead to the right side of the third floor so he can drop off Nile’s pens before he goes back to his own classroom, anticipating the interaction being short. Nicky pops his head in Nile’s open doorway and catches her attention before he smiles and sets the pens on her side table next to the door. 

Nile is speaking about a play her class is reading,  _ A Raisin in the Sun _ from the looks of it, but she stops her train of thought when she sees Nicky. “Okay guys, uh, keep talking amongst yourselves about what Mama’s plant symbolizes in the play. I’ll be back in a few.” 

Nile gestures for Nicky to step out into the hallway with her, keeping her door open a little so she can keep an eye on her students. Nile looks at Nicky with wide eyes, clearly shocked to see him for the first time in the middle of second period. “Are you just getting in now?” 

Nicky winces, not keen on recounting his hectic morning. “Kind of. I got here in time for first period, but then my landlord called me and told me a pipe burst on my floor. It wasn’t actually on my floor, so I was able to come back.” 

Nile raises her eyebrows as Nicky gives her the abridged version of his morning, 

“Jesus, that sucks. At least you’re back for good now, no more surprises.”

“Yes, knock wood.” Nicky says, tapping his knuckles on Nile’s doorframe, realizing too late it isn’t actually made out of wood.

An amused, little smile flashes on Nile’s face before it disappears too quick for Nicky to think about it any longer. Nile glances quickly at her students, but then her eyes land on the pens Nicky gave her. “What’d you put on my table, anyways?” 

“Oh.” Nicky says as Nile reaches for the pens. “I bought you your nice pens as a thank you for helping me this morning.” 

Nile clutches the packs of pens to her chest as she fake pouts, like the gift is making it impossible for her to not feel this emotional. “Nicky, you didn’t have to do that! Thank you, though, it’s very sweet.” Nicky isn’t expecting Nile to pull him into a hug, so he’s a little stiff at first, but he wraps his arms around Nile soon enough, remembering at the last second to drop the bag he’s holding so it doesn’t swing against Nile’s back. 

“Anyone ever tell you that you give really good hugs?” Nile asks into Nicky’s shoulder, which makes Nicky laugh. A number of people have told Nicky that he gives nice hugs, and he tells Nile as much. 

Nile pulls back first, looking into the bag on the floor. “What’s all that?” 

“It’s for Joe. He offered to watch my class while I went to my apartment, so I got him a few things too.”  _ A few things _ might be a bit of an understatement, since Nicky may have gone a little overboard at the store. Nicky hopes Nile doesn’t look any further in the shopping bag, already knowing Nile would never let it go if she saw everything that Nicky bought for Joe. 

“Well that makes sense. He minored in stats in college.” Nile says casually, like she isn’t telling Nicky important, new, life changing information. Nicky wants to ask a million follow-up questions, but Nile has other responsibilities. “I’ve gotta get back to my class, we’ll talk later?” 

“Yes, I will see you later.” Nicky says as Nile ducks back into her classroom, his mind still spinning with the fact that Joe studied statistics. Really, it shouldn’t be that shocking, since Joe has many talents and he’s incredibly smart, but Nicky can’t get over it. Nicky doesn’t know why Joe didn’t tell him, why this fact hasn’t come up between the two of them before. 

Nicky walks quickly, but quietly, down the hallway to his classroom, more than a little curious to see Joe teaching his class. Nicky didn’t leave Joe any of his notes or lesson plans, so it isn’t like Nicky expects him to be going over regression models and correlations like Nicky would be. If Nicky walked in and saw Joe put on a movie for his students or is letting them talk and be on their phones, that would be completely fine, but Nicky doesn’t think that Joe would do that. Joe would if his students really insisted that they just wanted to relax for fifty minutes, but it isn’t like Joe to not try first. 

Nicky gets to his door and slows his steps, sets his shopping bag down very carefully so it doesn’t make any noise. Nicky sees Joe behind his desk, in front of Nicky’s two whiteboards, and the whiteboards are covered in equations, drawings, and explanations for the drawings and equations. Nicky only needs a second to see that almost everything is related to correlation and regression models, but the rest of what Joe put on the board is lost on Nicky. Nicky doesn’t even want to guess what it could be, it looks too theoretical for Nicky to even vaguely understand. 

Nicky is broken out of his observations when a student ask’s Joe a question. “Mr. al-Kaysani, can you go over the equation again? I don’t really get what all the variables mean.” 

Joe spins back around to the whiteboard, somehow still not seeing Nicky. “Absolutely, let me rewrite it over… here.” Joe had to look for a clean spot on the whiteboard to rewrite and re-explain the equation, and the clean space he finds has him turning his back to Nicky. “I’m a little rusty with all this, so forgive me if my explanations are lacking. Please feel free to ask as many questions as you need.” 

At this point, most, if not all, of his students have spotted him, but Nicky holds a finger to his lip to ask them to keep quiet. They all nod and turn back to Joe when he starts talking, and Nicky does the same. 

Joe rewrote the equation on the board,  _ Y= a + bx _ , and Nicky can’t drag his eyes away from where Joe is using his fingers to point to each variable as he explains them. “So, x is essentially the independent variable in the problem, and y would be the dependent variable in the problem. B is the slope and a is the y-intercept when making a graph.” 

“And the point of doing a linear regression is to predict the relationship between the two variables. So, using x to predict y.” Nicky watches as Joe waits for his students to write that down before he continues. Nicky can’t help but stare at Joe, who claimed to be ‘a little rusty’, but Nicky wouldn’t have explained linear regressions any differently. If Nicky didn’t know any better, he would have assumed that Joe taught statistics regularly and for many years. Nicky looks at his students, checking to see if they understand what Joe is saying, and none of them look confused, no one is pretending to write in their notebook to avoid eye contact or staring out the window with a black look on their face.

Nicky can’t take his eyes off Joe, who looks comfortable and relaxed teaching in Nicky’s classroom, explaining a topic probably hasn’t studied since his early twenties. Nicky feels a slow smile form on his face watching Joe move around his room and answer questions like it’s second nature to him. “It might make more sense if I talk you guys through a problem. Does anyone have a textbook I could borrow?” 

“Mr. di Genova doesn’t use a textbook. He says they’re scams.” 

Nicky can’t help but let out a little snort at what his student said, because Nicky has said that and stands by it. Joe spins around at the noise, mouth open and a definite blush high on his cheeks. Joe opens and closes his mouth repeatedly, looking for the right words, but Nicky doesn’t need any. He’s seen all that he needs to, and it’s better than he could have ever imagined. 

Nicky picks up his shopping bag and walks into his classroom, stopping at his desk and opening the drawer he keeps the student work in. Nicky whispers to Joe, “Stay if you can. I have something for you”, before he addresses his students and explains why the teaching situation today has been so weird. 

“Here are some problems on regression models. As always, if you can do them now, great, but if you can’t, don’t stress. We will go over it again tomorrow or at my office hours.” Nicky says as he hands out the papers to his students. “If anyone knows how to connect the projector and the computer, you can watch a movie that you all agree on. A _school_ _appropriate_ movie.” Nicky adds, just to be safe, in case anyone walks by his classroom and sees what movie they picked. Nicky knows his students though, they won’t be able to pick a movie by the time class is over.

Nicky makes his way back to Joe and looks him over, noting the blush was fading fast and he looked more sure of himself. Nicky still has no idea why he was so quiet when he saw Nicky in the doorway, like he didn’t know what to say to Nicky when he saw him teaching statistics. “You’re back earlier than expected.” 

Nicky shrugs, leaning back against his desk as his students talk about what movie they want to watch. Joe is still standing in front of the whiteboards, in front of all his math and drawings that Nicky doesn’t understand. “The first floor was flooding, not mine. My landlord got me and someone who lives on the first floor confused.” 

“Ah, lucky you, then.” Joe says, but Nicky knows he isn’t really paying attention. Joe is not-so-secretly trying to look in the bag Nicky brought in, trying to figure out what Nicky bought him. Nicky smiles fondly at Joe and toes the bag closer to him, letting him know he can properly look. 

“It’s a thank you, for this morning and for teaching my class right now.” Joe looks up at Nicky, surprise and happiness written all over his face. “Which I have many questions about, but that can wait.” 

“It’s not that much of a story. I needed a math credit for college, and I had already taken stats in high school so I knew I was good at it, so I took intro stats as a freshman.” Joe says as picks up the bag and finally looks inside. Nicky watches as a smile breaks out on his face when he pulls a few packs of Post-Its Nicky knows Joe uses to remember deadlines and little notes to himself. 

“These are my favorite colors.” 

Nicky just shrugs, trying to play it down that he remembered which color Post-Its Joe liked to use the handful of times he’s seen his desk. “Nile told me you minored in statistics in college.” 

Joe puts the Post-Its back in the bag, which he puts on the floor, leaving the rest for later and giving his full attention to his conversation with Nicky. Nicky could drop the conversation and let Joe get back to his day, and he would if Nicky thought Joe didn’t want to talk about this, but Nicky isn’t sensing any discomfort or resistance from Joe. Nicky is just  _ curious _ , he wants to know more about this side of Joe that he hasn’t seen before. 

“I liked it and I was good at it.” Joe says, shrugging like it really was that simple. “It was an easy choice for me after I realized that.” 

Nicky nods, accepting that answer gladly. Nicky gets it, he teaches statistics for a living, Nicky likes the subject and it comes naturally to him too. Nicky wants to ask why Joe never told him, why Joe didn’t bring it up at the hundreds of opportunities he’s had, but Nicky guesses it doesn’t really matter in the end. He knows now, and that’s all that really matters. 

“Well, you are a very good statistics teacher. I wouldn’t have explained anything any differently.” Nicky says, and as suspected, Joe appreciates the compliment. Nicky would give him a hundred more compliments if it meant he could keep that smile on Joe’s face and Nicky would still have a hundred more left over. 

“What is this?” Nicky changes the subject, pointing to Joe’s math and drawings. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen it before.” 

“Oh, it’s math people usually use for art.” Joe explains, moving to stand next to Nicky, leaning against the desk with Nicky. Nicky warms with how close Joe stands next to him, physically and emotionally. “I kind of got sidetracked for a little bit after you left.” 

Nicky turns his head to look at Joe, taking in how happy he looks to be talking about all this with Nicky. Joe always looks happy when he explains his art to Nicky or shows Nicky some of the art his students made, but this is different. Nicky gets the impression Joe doesn’t get to talk about his interest in math often, so when he’s finally able to, he bursts with it. Nicky desperately wants to hear Joe explain it, wants to hear Joe speak about something that he is so clearly passionate about, wants to see more of this side of Joe. 

“Tell me about it? Please.” Nicky still has his head turned toward Joe when he asks his question, so when Joe turns his head toward Nicky at the question, their noses are practically touching. Nicky feels his breath catch, he’s  _ so close _ to Joe, he can see all his freckles and exactly where his beard is starting to grow out of line. Nicky forces his eyes to stay focused on the top half of Joe’s face, even though everything inside of him wants to glance down at Joe’s lips, just for a second, but he knows it would be too obvious if he did that when he was this close to Joe. Joe blinks slowly a couple times, and Nicky is helpless to watch how his eyelashes fall against his face. 

Joe recovers much faster than Nicky ever would have, pulling back and facing the board again with a little laugh. “Um, so.” Joe starts, scratching at his beard as he concentrates. Nicky minutely shakes his head, composing himself so he can listen to Joe. “That over there is the golden ratio, which is how each part of the artwork can be done in the most pleasing way for the eye. It’s actually a proportion, which I think is really interesting.” 

Joe goes on to explain the proportion and how the proportion works out so that if someone kept drawing repeating rectangles in the artwork, they would each be the same size. Joe then points to a different drawing, explaining how perspectives give depth and space to a room by drawing lines to focus on a center point in the room. Nicky is hopelessly confused, he gave up trying to understand after Joe explained what the golden ratio actually was, but he doesn’t stop Joe to ask any questions. Nicky knows it wouldn’t have helped, he is never going to get a good understanding of this past the most basic point. Instead, Nicky watches as Joe lights up talking about how famous paintings and how the golden ratio applies to them; how he became obsessed with finding other artworks that fit the golden ration when he first learned about it, spent hours and hours working out the math and proportions to see if it fit. Nicky bites back his smile the entire time, feeling lucky to see this side of Joe, to be able to see how passionate and in love with this he really is. 

“I think people forget how much math is actually in every piece of art we make. With all the perspectives, planes, and patterns, it’s impossible to take math out of the art we make- even in dance, music, or architecture. You can’t have one without the other.” Joe points to all his drawings on the white board, and Nicky might not have been able to see it before, but he sees it now. Nicky sees how it would not be possible to produce art if they didn’t understand the mathematics behind it, how a rich appreciation of art becomes even richer if it comes from an understanding of the underlying math. 

“A mathematician once said, ‘the keys to mathematics are beauty and elegance, and not dullness and technicality’, and I haven’t been able to forget that quote since the first time I heard it. It’s not just numbers, it’s- it’s a common language, we can communicate with everyone through it, and we produce beautiful works of art everyday with a few equations.” Joe finishes, sighing a little, like it was so perfect to him that it weighed heavy on him sometimes. 

Nicky doesn’t say anything for a moment, taking in everything that Joe just said. It was all incredibly well thought out and beautifully said, and Nicky will be thinking about it for days, but all Nicky can think at the moment is  _ you’re beautiful, I want to see you like this always. _ Nicky stares at Joe’s face, taking in how Joe is still looking over the white board, like he’s still taking it all in and processing his thoughts. 

“Sorry.” Joe says suddenly, crossing his arms over his chest and laughing like he’s embarrassed and regretting what he said. “That probably sounded really pretentious.”

“No.” Nicky is quick to reassure him, wanting to get rid of that thought immediately. Nicky doesn’t know who put that thought in Joe’s head, whether it was himself or someone from his past, but Nicky doesn’t like it either way. “I just… I have never though about art this way, I was never taught to think about art this way. I think it’s beautiful.” 

For all Nicky wanted to make Joe happy this morning with the gifts, he knows Joe is much happier having heard his compliment and reassurance. Joe looks at Nicky out of the corner of his eye with a close mouthed smile that stretches across his face, threatening to break and turn into a grin at any moment. Joe’s eyes are so scrunched up with the force of his smile, his eye crinkles more prominent than Nicky has ever seen before. Nicky’s heart rate picks up at the sight, feels like his heart is going to beat out of his chest and fall into his hands for Joe to take. Nicky blinks and Joe’s pressed smile turns into a little smile, but it’s still obvious that he’s happy. 

“You didn’t have to get me anything, you know. It wasn’t like some big burden for me to get my students to make you a card and then cover your class when I had a free second period.” Joe says, and Nicky is surprised for a second by the change in subject. Joe is back to looking at the whiteboards, but he still has that little smile on his face that is driving Nicky wild.

“Maybe, but I wanted to. It was a lot to have you do on such short notice.” Nicky turns around to face his desk, organizing the papers that are spread out on his desk. Nicky assumes some of them are leftover from William, but the rest have to be from Joe since they’re his lesson plans on what Joe was teaching. Nicky puts the lesson plans back in his drawer, already knowing he isn’t going to formally teach the rest of his class periods to keep them all on track with each other. 

“Maybe, but I wanted to.” Joe repeats back to him, finally looking away from the whiteboard with a smirk. Nicky rolls his eyes fondly but accepts the statement. “Thank you, it was very thoughtful.” 

“You’re welcome.” Nicky focuses back on his students, and as suspected, they’re still bickering over what movie to watch. He listens to what they’re saying for a few moments, and it sounds like the final choice is between an action movie and a romantic comedy that Nicky has never heard of. Nicky looks back at Joe, who is already looking at Nicky, and he freezes when he sees the look on Joe’s face. Joe’s expression is so  _ open _ , his eyes are big and soft, and that little smile is back on his face. Nicky wants to ask Joe what’s going on, what is making him look at Nicky like that, but the bell rings to signal the end of second period. 

“I, uh,” Joe starts, scratching at the back of his head. Nicky thinks Joe wants to say something, he keeps looking around the room and then back at Nicky, but he never ends up saying anything new. “Thank you, again. Really.” 

“Thank  _ you _ , really.” Nicky says, stressing how much Joe helped him today. Joe grabs the shopping bag before he leaves Nicky’s classroom with all his students, and Nicky inhales and exhales deeply during the second he’s alone. Nicky felt like there was something Joe wanted to ask him all morning, starting in the hallway and then in his classroom, and Nicky also suspected that it wasn’t a casual question. Joe normally has no problem asking for what he wants, saying what’s on his mind, so all the hesitation was making Nicky uneasy.

Nicky greets his third period students as they come in before he turns back to his whiteboard, hesitating. Nicky doesn’t want to erase anything that Joe wrote, even though he would have to if he wanted to write anything new on the whiteboard. Nicky goes back and forth with himself over it before he decides to leave it. Nicky will have no problem teaching from what Joe wrote on the board, but he will have a problem keeping his focus off Joe’s drawings and scribbled explanations. 


	7. february

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicky looks back at Joe, suddenly not sure what to say, so what comes out is, “I’m kind of drunk.”
> 
> Joe’s little smile turns into a big grin as he laughs loudly. Nicky smiles back at Joe, not worried that Joe is probably laughing at him. Nicky knows how he looks when he’s drunk, he gets flushed and a little loud and lets lose in a way he normally doesn’t, so it’s probably funny for Joe to see for the first time. Nicky tracks Joe’s movements as he sits down next to Nicky, following the line of his legs as they rest on the lower bar of the stool and how his arm rests on the bar counter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so this takes place in nickys bar 'the griffin' and it's during present times so when nicky is working w everyone at his current school. nickys coworkers+friends from the bar are featured in this chapter, as is alessa  
> (cw for nicky being like tipsy-drunk, but no dangerous drinking or graphic descriptions of being drunk here)
> 
> the only reason i broke up this chapter and the next one are bc it was over 10k and i figured that was a lot to put in one chapter and there was a place for a clean break, but i promise after this it's all get together and fluff <3 
> 
> if u made it this far thank you sm for reading and for being so patient lol

**_February, The Griffin_ **

Joe finds him at his old bar, even though Nicky doesn’t remember telling him he was there. Joe walks in through the front door, looking around the room, probably for Nicky. His eyes scan the bar, and when they finally land on Nicky sitting at the bar with Amy, a coworker from his time at the bar, a little smile breaks out on his face and he walks over. Nicky takes a deep breath, focusing on not making a fool of himself in front of Joe while he’s a little drunk, well into buzzed territory. Amy shoots him an amused glance, poorly hiding her smile. 

Nicky spins around on the bar stool, stabilized by Amy’s helpful arm, when Joe gets to them. “Hey.” Nicky says, probably too loudly, then he tries again. “Hi. What are you doing here?”

“You texted me, you don’t remember that?” Joe asks him, speaking slowly, like something is wrong with Nicky. The little smile on Joe’s face hasn’t disappeared yet, and Nicky is locked in on it. Joe pulls his phone out of his jacket pocket and shows Nicky their messages, and Nicky blinks before he can read them. 

Joe had asked him what he was doing tonight, if he wanted to hang out, and as Nicky reads the texts, the memory comes back to him. Nicky and Amy had been drinking, celebrating her quals being over and her finally having time to breathe and relax, when Joe had asked him what he was doing. Nicky was definitely not sober when he got the texts, and when Amy had looked over his shoulder to read them and asked who Joe was, Nicky couldn’t resist telling her everything about him. How they work together, how Joe is an artist and a writer, how beautiful and smart and kind he is, how Nicky is hopelessly in love with him. 

Amy was also a little drunk, so she was understandably overjoyed with the news and wanted to meet Joe, so she convinced Nicky to invite Joe to the bar. (Nicky didn’t actually need that much convincing, he would always want Joe around.) Nicky flushes when he reads the texts he sent, hadn’t really been paying attention to what he was saying at the time. 

_ Drinking with Amy at my old bar _

_ Well it’s not mine really but it is in a sense _

_ You should come over  _

_ If you want to  _

_ It’s fun, we’re celebrating good news for Amy _

Nicky sent him the address after that, somehow not making any typos to confuse Joe. Joe pockets his phone again when Nicky is clearly done reading, a curious look on his face. Nicky wants to explain, to tell Joe that he’s a little drunk so that’s why he responded like that, but Amy speaks first. 

“Jesus, Nicky.” Amy whispers, a little drunk herself, so her filter is basically gone at this point. 

“Shh.” Nicky tells her, waving his hand a little in her direction. Nicky looks back at Joe, suddenly not sure what to say, so what comes out is, “I’m kind of drunk.”

Joe’s little smile turns into a big grin as he laughs loudly. Nicky smiles back at Joe, not worried that Joe is probably laughing at him. Nicky knows how he looks when he’s drunk, he gets flushed and a little loud and lets lose in a way he normally doesn’t, so it’s probably funny for Joe to see for the first time. Nicky tracks Joe’s movements as he sits down next to Nicky, following the line of his legs as they rest on the lower bar of the stool and how his arm rests on the bar counter. 

Amy taps him on the shoulder and Nicky spins around, not expecting her touch. Nicky will admit that he forgot she was there for a second, and he does feel very bad about that, but it’s  _ Joe _ . “I’m gonna get more drinks from Derek, okay? I’ll be back.” Amy turns her attention to Joe, asks him, “You want anything?”

Joe shakes his head, tells her, “No thanks.”, and then Amy is on her way. 

Nicky turns back to Joe, searching his face for any sign of how he’s feeling. Joe looks amused, definitely, but he also looks happy, looks comfortable sitting at the bar with Nicky. Nicky had been serious about inviting Joe to the bar, drunk or not, but he doesn’t want Joe to feel like he  _ has _ to be here. But Joe doesn’t look uncomfortable or like he wants to leave, so Nicky doesn’t bring it up. 

Joe puts his hand further on the bar counter and leans closer to Nicky. Once Nicky’s eyes lock in on Joe’s hand against the dark wood, it’s impossible to look away. Joe’s rings are very distracting. “You come here often, then?” Nicky raises an eyebrow at Joe, looking at him to catch Joe’s smile at Nicky’s reaction. Nicky likes that he can make Joe smile, likes knowing that he’s the reason Joe is happy and laughing. Joe bites his lower lip and continues speaking. “Is that why it’s  _ your _ bar?”

“Oh.” Nicky says, suddenly remembering that Joe wasn’t in the room for that conversation. “No, I used to work here. For eight months.” Nicky watches as Joe blinks in surprise before his expression returns to normal. “It was after I left Holy Cross-- my old teaching job. I needed a job but, um, it was February and no schools were hiring.” Nicky leaves out the parts about running away to Italy, doesn’t want to bring the mood down on a night meant for celebration. 

“I didn’t know that.” Joe says, staring at Nicky with his big, soft brown eyes. Eyes Nicky could get lost in forever, if he let himself. Nicky knows he’s staring too much, but he can’t stop himself. Nicky will blame it on being drunk, if it comes up. 

“It wasn’t on purpose.” Nicky says suddenly, wanting to reassure Joe that Nicky wasn’t keeping this from him specifically, that Nicky didn’t trust Joe with this information. “It just never came up when you were around, but if you had asked I would have told you. I swear.” 

“Hey, it’s okay.” Joe reassures him, probably noticing how worried Nicky is getting at the idea of Joe thinking Nicky kept things from him. Joe looks at him under his eyelashes, tilts his head a little to get Nicky to focus on him.  _ God _ , Joe’s eyes, how could they possibly be this bright in this old, unlit bar? “I believe you, it’s alright.” 

Nicky nods, accepting Joe’s answer and relaxing. “How do you know Amy?” Joe asks him after he’s sure Nicky is relaxed again. 

“She’s in grad school but she works here sometimes to get a little extra money. We worked together a lot, the two of us and Derek.” Nicky glances at where her and Derek are talking, Derek working tonight and Amy probably talking about how happy she is that her quals are over. She deserves it, Nicky thinks, deserves to talk everyone’s ear off about her exams and her research and her thesis. She works hard, and she should be proud of herself. 

“She reminds me of Alessa too, so I kind of have a soft spot for her.” Nicky whispers, like that’s some big secret between the three of them and not something Derek would tease him over when Amy wasn’t around. Amy knows, Nicky thinks, but she’s never said anything about it, so neither has Nicky. 

Joe nods, that little smile back on his face, fond and only for Nicky. Nicky’s drunk brain can’t take it, can’t take all the soft attention Joe is giving him right now, can already feel something irresponsible and reckless building inside him. Nicky is reminded of the winter dance, of when Nicky almost kissed Joe, when Nicky let himself think for a second that Joe might return his feelings. Nicky thinks about finishing his drink right now, but decides against it. 

Amy comes back without their drinks but with a dangerous look on her face. Nicky widens his eyes and shakes his head in what he hopes is a discreet way, but Amy just ignores him. “So, Joe, how did you and Nicky meet?”

“We met at work, on his first day actually. I showed him around a little bit and then we saw each other again at an after work get-together thing.” Joe says, looking between Amy and Nicky as he talks. Nicky likes to imagine that Joe’s eyes are a little warmer when they land on him rather than Amy. “Then I just kept seeing him around and with my other friends, so he kind of snuck his way into our group.” Joe leans closer to Amy, a playful look on his face like he has a secret. “To be honest with you, we only let him stay because he brings us really good food.” 

Amy lets out a crackle that she never would have if she was sober, and Joe leans back looking proud of himself. Nicky rolls his eyes but stays silent, taking a sip of his drink while Amy and Joe laugh next to him. Nicky likes that they’re getting along, likes that two important people in his life can spend time together, but it also feels a little dangerous for Nicky. Amy has too many embarrassing stories of Nicky, and Nicky knows she would just  _ love _ to share them. 

“But seriously, Nicky is...he’s very kind, and genuine, and I liked that about him. He cares about his students and he wants to help them succeed, he only wants to do good by them, and that just shines through in everything he does. It’s really special to be able to see that.” 

Nicky inhales a shaky breath, staring wide eyed at Joe, taking in all that he said. Joe isn’t looking at Nicky, hasn’t looked at Nicky since he started talking, is focused on a little cut in the counter that he keeps running his thumb over. Nicky doesn’t know what to say to that, doesn’t know what else to think other than  _ I love you, I love you, I love you _ . Nicky finally exhales, still shaky, and puts his hand on Joe’s shoulder, gently. Nicky feels Joe’s shoulder drop, just enough so that if Nicky wasn’t touching him he wouldn’t have noticed, and Joe turns to look at him, finally. 

Whatever Joe sees on Nicky’s face must be reassuring, comforting, because Joe relaxes even more under Nicky’s hand. “I, um… thank you.” Nicky says, stumbling a little because he  _ doesn’t  _ know what to say to that. He’s never been the best with words, he’s always been better at showing his appreciation through actions, but Joe doesn’t seem to mind Nicky’s simple response. 

Derek comes with their drinks then, breaking any awkwardness or tension that was bound to come from Nicky just staring at Joe. Derek and Joe introduce themselves, Derek sticking around the three of them to talk and catch up. 

“Nicky said you guys are celebrating something for you?” Joe asks Amy, and Amy looks so excited to have someone new to talk to about her accomplishments. 

“Yeah! I just finished my quals today, and my advisor overheard the committee talking and they liked what I wrote and said. So- so I can finally stop studying after  _ months  _ and have a night out.” Amy is using her forearms to lean across Nicky and talk to Joe, and Nicky sees her wobble a little, so he puts a hand on her back, just in case. “Do you want to hear about my research?”

It’s not all that complicated, what Amy is researching, but it’s very interesting, and Nicky knows she could talk about it for hours, but he’s curious to see how well she explains it when she’s drunk. Joe, predictably, says yes, so Amy launches in her big speech about how she’s studying immune responses in pregnant mothers and how those immune responses affect the fetus, neurologically and developmentally. Joe looks very interested, even asks a few questions, and Nicky has to bite his lip to contain his smile. Seeing Joe with his friends, seeing Joe get along and  _ like  _ his friends, is doing something complicated to Nicky’s heart. 

“That sounds really interesting. Congrats on finishing your quals, that’s a huge accomplishment.” Joe says, and he sounds so honest and nice that Nicky immediately needs to put his attention somewhere else.

Nicky raises his glass and says, “To Amy, salute!”, and Joe and Derek join in on the cheers. Amy and Nicky continue drinking throughout the night, Joe sitting with them the entire time, Derek coming back to them when he has a free minute and more drinks. For some reason that Nicky can’t remember, he leaves Joe with Amy and sits with Derek on the other side of the bar, and Derek places a large glass of water in front of Nicky and watches him until he drinks all of it. “ _ So _ … what’s his deal?” Derek asks, nodding his head in Joe’s direction. 

Nicky looks over to Joe, who is already looking at Nicky and is still sitting where Nicky left him, with Amy. Joe raises an eyebrow at Nicky, probably wondering if everything is okay, so Nicky smiles at him to rid him of any worry he may have. Joe smiles back, and he’s so  _ beautiful _ and wonderful that Nicky can’t help but keep smiling at him. Nicky is only snapped out of his love-struck daze when Derek lightly punches him on his bicep. “Man, you got it _ bad.”  _ When Derek laughs at Nicky this time, Nicky doesn’t like it as much. 

Nicky pouts and rolls his eyes at Derek but he doesn’t bother denying it. “Have you  _ looked _ at him? Look at him and tell me he isn’t the hottest man you have ever seen.” Nicky is basically whining now, and he’s glad Joe isn’t close enough to hear what his voice sounds like. 

Derek glances at Joe again and agrees with Nicky. “Yeah, he’s crazy hot.” Nicky knows Derek only checked Joe out and said he was hot because Nicky asked him to, but he doesn’t like hearing the conformation as much as he thought he would. Nicky snaps to get Derek’s attention away from Joe, and the grin Derek shoots him is dangerous. 

“Oh, relax Nicky. You don’t have to get all jealous, I was only agreeing with you.” Nicky must not look pleased from that reassurance, so Derek tries something else. “Even if I was going to make a move, which I’m  _ not _ , he obviously wouldn’t be into it. He’s totally gone on you, Nicky.” 

Nicky’s mouth drops open and his eyes widen, but he quickly schools his expression into something resembling being calm, even though that’s the exact opposite of how he’s feeling. “No, he doesn’t like me. How do you know?” Nicky says both things back to back, practically making it all one word, eager to hear what Derek thinks. 

“You should have seen the way he was looking at you when you were being all drunk and stupid.” Nicky starts to say how that isn’t a good enough reason, Derek rolls his eyes at him. “Then why is he here, Nicky?” Derek asks, and that shuts Nicky right up. “He obviously cares about you a lot to show up here and not even drink.” 

Nicky shrugs, not willing to read too much into it. They work together and they have mutual friends, and if Nicky asked him out and Joe said no, Nicky would ruin everything. He’s  _ friends _ with everyone at his job, and if he ruined that because he got too confident and asked Joe out, he would never forgive himself. Not to mention that Joe is just  _ like _ this, would come to the bar if Nicky asked him to come when he was already looking for something to do. “We… we work together, I don’t want to make him uncomfortable if he doesn’t feel the same way or if I read too much into it.” 

“Yeah, that’s fair. I’ll drop it after this, but I think you should give yourself a chance. You’re never going to know if you don’t ask him out.” Derek says, and Nicky is reminded of all the terrible movies Derek made him watch where the protagonist’s best friend encourages them to go and get the guy. “You good with him driving you home?”

Nicky doesn’t know what time it is, but it’s probably pretty late if Derek is asking about going home. Nicky probably should get going, he doesn’t want to get to bed too late before work tomorrow. 

“Yes, I…” Nicky whispers, looking over to Joe to make sure he’s still okay. Nicky smiles at what he sees, Joe talking and laughing with Amy. Nicky remembers helping her study for her quals when things were slow, teaching her how to make the basic drinks and trying not to cough when she made them too strong, and pretending not to know that she was planning a surprise party for him when he was leaving. Nicky watches as Joe and Amy keep up a good conversation, not surprised that they hit it off with Joe’s warm and inviting personality and Amy’s love for talking, and drunkenly thinks that Joe could fit here, in his life. “I trust him.”

The smile Derek shoots him can only be described as fond, but Nicky pretends he doesn’t see it. Nicky, suddenly exhausted, folds his arms on the counter and rests his head in his arms. It  _ has  _ to be late, and it doesn’t help that Nicky is tipsy. Derek shouts and waves Joe over in their direction, and Nicky sees Joe gesture for Amy to follow him over to Nicky and Derek. Joe grabs everything he left on that side of the bar and brings it over to Nicky while also keeping an eye on Amy as she walks next to him. Nicky watches as Joe tilts his head at Nicky and twists his mouth in a smile, his eyes scrunching up with the force of it. Nicky blushes at the attention, but he doesn’t take his eyes off Joe. 

Amy sits down heavily next to Nicky and gives her phone to Derek, asks him if he would call her girlfriend to come down and pick her up. Nicky picks his head off his forearms and looks at Amy, also looking sleepy but satisfied, relaxed in a way that shows how stressed she had been about her quals. Nicky is glad she was able to celebrate, even a little, even if it wasn’t what she had in mind. 

“You ready to head out, Nicky?” Joe asks, placing a hand on Nicky’s shoulder blade. Derek shoots him a look that Nicky desperately tries to ignore, instead focusing on the weight of Joe’s hand on his back and secretly wishing that Joe would rub his back a little. Nicky shakes his head of that thought and nods, ignoring the headrush he gets, and pushes off the counter when he stands up. Joe hands him his coat and Nicky tries to put it on while Derek and Nicky talk. 

Nicky is only vaguely listening to the two of them talk, too focused on trying to put his arm through the sleeve of his coat, but he notices when they fall silent and stop talking. They’re both staring at him, but while Derek looks like he’s about to make fun of Nicky, Joe is already reaching out to help Nicky with his coat. “Here. Give me your arm, I’ll help you.” 

Joe gently moves Nicky’s left arm through the sleeve of his jacket, and then adjusts the right shoulder before moving Nicky’s right arm through. Nicky thinks he stops breathing the entire time Joe is touching him, trying to focus entirely on putting on his jacket and not how gentle Joe is being with him. Nicky feels like he’s sixteen again, holding hands with the first boy he liked and barely keeping it together, distracted by the warmth and closeness he is feeling. When Nicky has his coat on, he reflexively pats his pockets for his wallet and keys, but he only finds his wallet. “Where… I don’t have my keys.” 

Nicky’s head snaps up when he hears the sound of keys clinking next to him. Joe has his keys looped around his middle finger, wiggling his fingers so that they make as much noise as possible. Nicky reaches for his keys, but Joe pulls his hand back quickly and Nicky is grasping at the air. Joe winks at him, and Nicky feels his whole face flush. Joe just  _ winked _ at him. “I’m driving.” 

“It’s my car, you know.” Nicky mumbles, only putting up a fight for appearances. He would never get behind the wheel of a car right now, probably couldn’t even  _ start _ his car right now, and Joe seems to know this too, if his laugh is anything to go by. 

Before Nicky leaves, he tells Joe to hold on a second and turns to Amy. Nicky holds his arms out for a hug and Amy falls into them, her head resting on his shoulder. Nicky tightens his arms around her, half to make sure she doesn’t bolt when he starts talking and half for stability. “I’m so proud of you. You worked really hard for months, and it was all worth it in the end. You are doing great things, Amy, and I just know you’re going to keep impressing me for a long time.” 

Nicky hears Amy sniff into his shoulder, feels her take a shaky breath, her hands tightening on his jacket, so he keeps holding her until she’s ready, until she shows him he’s ready for him to pull away. Nicky passes his hand over her shoulder a few times, comforting her and trying to get her to relax. Eventually Amy inhales deeply and pulls away, pressing her middle fingers against the bottom of her eyes, keeping her tears at bay. 

“I really am proud of you, okay? You deserve this, and a lot more.” Nicky tells her, wanting to make sure she believes him. Amy nods quickly, her nostrils flaring and her smile tight, like she’s keeping back tears. Nicky can see a certain shine to her eyes though, can see a light layer of tears just waiting to fall. Nicky doesn’t mention that, though. “Thank you.”

“Do you want me to wait here until your girlfriend shows up?”

Amy sniffs, wipes at her eyes again, but she’s smiling a little now. “No, go home. I don’t want you to complain too much in the morning about your hangover, old man.” 

Nicky huffs like he’s offended or embarrassed, but he’s glad that she feels like she can joke with him. Nicky says goodbye to Derek, promising that they’ll hang out soon, and Joe and Derek shake hands and tell each other it was nice to meet the other. Joe and Nicky walk outside toward Nicky’s car, quiet until Joe breaks the silence. 

“What was all that about with Amy? If you don’t mind me asking.” 

Nicky isn’t surprised that Joe is asking, because it was obvious that Derek and Joe were listening even though they were pretending not too. “Oh. Her family situation, it’s uh, complicated.” Nicky says, and Nicky thinks that Joe gets the picture that Nicky is using the word  _ complicated  _ liberally. “I don’t know if anyone is telling her things like that, so I wanted to make sure she heard it at least once tonight.” 

Nicky stumbles a little on a crack in the parking lot, and Joe puts a hand on his lower back reflexively. Once Joe is sure Nicky is okay they keep walking, but Joe doesn’t take his hand away. Nicky looks over at him from the corner of his eye, curious but not mad about it. It feels nice. 

“Well, what you said was really nice. Amy looked liked she needed to hear it, I think.” Joe says, and Nicky nods in agreement. That’s why he laid it on a little thick, why he told Amy he was proud of her twice. Nicky liked that Joe noticed that too.

They finally reach Nicky’s car, and Joe unlocks and opens the passenger door for Nicky, and slowly helps Nicky into the passenger seat. Nicky lets his head hit the head rest, rolls his head so that he’s facing Joe, who is backlit by the lights in the parking lot and the bar sign. “Thank you, Joe.” Nicky whispers, maybe a little more earnestly than is appropriate for the situation. 

Joe smiles at him and reaches toward Nicky’s face, and for a terrifying second, Nicky thinks Joe is leaning in to kiss him. All the air leaves Nicky’s lungs and his face goes blank and he sits motionless as Joe leans closer and closer to him, resting a hand next to Nicky’s shoulder inside the car. Nicky has thought of nothing but kissing Joe for months now, but now that he might get the chance, he doesn’t know if he wants their first kiss to be like  _ this _ . Nicky is drunk, and they’re in the parking lot of Nicky’s old bar, and it isn’t romantic, or special, and Nicky is  _ drunk _ , and he wants to remember everything about their first kiss the next morning. 

Nicky is about to object and put a hand over Joe’s lips, which seems like an acceptable thing for him to do, when all Joe does is reach for his seatbelt.  _ Oh. _ Joe was only trying to buckle him in. Nicky exhales heavily, feels his shoulders relax back into the passenger seat. Joe leans across Nicky’s body and does the buckle, and when he stands up straight and looks at Nicky again, he looks worried. “You look really pale. You’re not going to throw up, are you?” 

Nicky rolls his eyes at Joe, his head still in a position to gaze at Joe as he stands next to Nicky’s car. Nicky immediately regrets rolling his eyes when it causes pain to bloom in his temples. Nicky groans, rubbing at his temples. “No, I’m fine. I will fall asleep, though, if you don’t start driving soon.” 

Nicky thinks he hears Joe mumble “Guess you’re a sleepy drunk, huh?” as he closes the passenger side door, but Nicky can’t be sure. He is tired. Joe gets in the driver’s seat and starts the car, backing out to where the opening of the parking lot meets the road. Nicky watches as Joe turns half his body toward Nicky and stretches his arm behind Nicky’s seat, checking to see if it’s safe to back out. Nicky can’t take his eyes off him. It’s not even something that should be hot, and Nicky could never put it into words, but there’s just  _ something  _ about how Joe stretches his arm behind Nicky’s seat and how focused he is on driving. 

Nicky is pulled back to the present when Joe asks him for direction back to his apartment. Nicky sits up straighter in his seat, pointing for Joe to go right, and watches as Joe checks the road before he turns into the street. 

Wanting to fill the silence, even though it’s not awkward, Nicky blurts out “You’re a very good driver, Joe”, and regrets it instantly. God, he sounds like a grandparent driving with their grandkid for the first time, or even worse, a driving instructor. Nicky just isn’t going to talk anymore, he’s only going to open his mouth to give directions and say thank you when Joe drops him off. 

Joe seems to appreciate his awkward compliment for reasons Nicky can never begin to understand. “Thank you, Nicky.” Joe doesn’t look away from the road, but he’s smiling, biting his lower lip to try and contain it. 

Nicky tells Joe to keep driving after they stop at a stop sign, and that he’s going to take a left after the next three lights, and then adds “No one likes how I drive here” for some godforsaken reason. What happened to keeping his mouth shut. 

Joe lets out a loud laugh at that. “Really? Why don’t people like how you drive?” 

Nicky shifts to get more comfortable in his seat, bending his right leg at the knee so his leg rests against his door, and leans his head against the window. “People say I have bad road rage, but I don’t.” Nicky rolls his eyes, forgetting in the last few minutes what a bad idea that is. “It is not my fault that everyone else is a bad driver.” 

“Of course not.” Joe says, finally looking at him now that they’re stopped at a red light. Some of the red light filters into Nicky’s car and it makes Joe’s eyes shine. “I’m sure you’re a very good driver, Nicky.” 

“Oh, thank you.” Nicky says sarcastically, pointing for Joe to turn right down a side street after he finishes his left turn. Nicky nods his head at an apartment building, telling Joe that’s his building. Joe signals and turns into the parking lot, and then drives to the back of the building when Nicky tells him that’s where he likes to park. There’s a family of stray cats that live somewhere around the back of his building, and Nicky likes to pet and feed them before he leaves for work. 

When Joe turns off his car and Nicky undoes his seatbelt, something occurs to him. “How are you going to get home?” Nicky quickly shifts to face Joe, but Joe doesn’t seem too worried about how he’s getting home, slowly putting the emergency break down and undoing his own seatbelt. 

“I was just going to take a cab back to the bar and get my car.” Joe says, handing Nicky back his keys, which he absently shoves back in his coat pocket. Joe smiles at him to ease his worry, and Nicky is pleased to find that it does relax him a little. But only a little. 

Nicky is about to ask Joe if he just wants to spend the night at Nicky’s instead of going back to get his own car, but he quickly stops himself, considering all the faults with that plan. One, Nicky only has one bed in his apartment, so that would mean they would have to share his bed or one of them would sleep on the couch. Nicky would never make Joe sleep on his couch and Nicky is not sharing a bed with anyone tonight, so that wouldn’t work. Two, Nicky is still drunk, and inviting Joe upstairs while he’s drunk is just a bad idea all around. Not that Nicky would try anything, and Nicky knows Joe would never do anything with him when he’s drunk, but it just feels like a bad idea. Three, they have to work tomorrow, and Nicky would have to drive Joe back to the bar early in the morning to get his car so he could go home and get ready for work, and Nicky is already anticipating being hungover and sleeping until the last possible minute tomorrow. Nicky is not too keen on Joe seeing him in that state. 

So, inviting Joe to his apartment is a bad idea, and Nicky doesn’t think on it for another second. 

They’re still sitting in Nicky’s car, so Nicky shifts in his seat so he’s facing Joe, both of his knees facing Joe’s seat and his back against the passenger side door. Joe moves accordingly but with less freedom because of the steering wheel, just bending one leg up onto his seat. “Let me give you money then, please-”

“No, no, Nicky. You don’t have to do that.” Joe pushes Nicky’s hands away when Nicky offers him money, but Nicky tries again. It’s already bad enough that Joe drove out to the bar and ended up driving him home, but Nicky can’t stomach the idea of Joe spending money on a cab tonight. Even if Nicky only lives ten minutes from the bar.

It takes a little bit, but Nicky eventually convinces Joe to take some money, but when Joe finally accepts, Nicky quickly places the money in Joe’s hand and forces his fingers around the bills, making it almost impossible for Joe to secretly slip the money back into Nicky’s pockets. Nicky wants to keep his hand wrapped around Joe’s for a lot longer than is socially acceptable, but he forces his fingers to uncurl from around Joe’s hand after he gives him the money. 

Nicky looks back up to thank Joe again for the ride home but stops when he finds Joe staring at him. Joe’s eyes are moving around Nicky’s face, like he’s trying to search for something that only Nicky can show him. Or maybe Nicky just has something stuck to his face. Nicky lifts a clumsy hand, trying to see if he does actually have something on his face. “What? Do I have something on my face?” 

Joe blinks, and then shakes his head. The roaming look in his eyes is gone. “No. Well, actually-”, and Nicky  _ knows _ that tone, he knows what’s going to follow like he knows how to get around his childhood home in the dark, he knows what’s coming next because he’s had a younger sister for twenty-five years of his life and she never let the joke die. “It’s like, right in the middle of your face, kinda big-”

Nicky groans and gets out of his car, and Joe follows him, laughing the entire time. “Very funny. You should quit teaching and start doing stand-up.” Nicky stands on the passenger side of his car, and Joe stays on the driver’s side of the car. Nicky thinks he will do something terribly irresponsible if he crosses that barrier. 

“I’ll see you at work tomorrow, yeah?” Joe asks, and Nicky groans again, lets his head drop into his folded arms on the roof of the car. “C’mon, your hangover probably won’t be so bad you can’t teach. You seem pretty coherent.” 

“I have never been hungover at work before.” Nicky says, picking his head off the roof of his car and getting his keys out of his coat pocket. Nicky is not looking forward to seeing if the horror stories he’s heard about teaching hungover are true or not. 

Joe doesn’t believe him, if his scoff is anything to go by. “Really? You’ve never taught with a hangover?” 

“Some of us believe in being responsible teachers, Joe.” Nicky says, but there is absolutely no heat behind it, and Nicky even lets his mouth quirk up a bit in case there’s any doubt in Joe’s mind that Nicky is joking. 

“Well, some of us believe in having  _ fun _ , Nicky.” Joe teases back, and Nicky scoffs at him. The only reason he doesn’t roll his eyes is because he remembers how much that would hurt this time.

“Sorry, I didn’t know teaching at seven-thirty in the morning while hungover was considered fun.” Nicky says, and he still hasn’t moved away from his car, but neither has Joe. They’re both leaning on the roof of the car and most definitely making too much eye contact as they smile at each other. Nicky knows he should go upstairs and sleep as much as he possibly can, but the thought of leaving Joe to go to his empty apartment is not appealing. “I will be sure to let you know how badly it goes.” 

Joe rolls his eyes at him, and Nicky is jealous that it doesn’t seem to hurt him. “Like you still wouldn’t be the best teacher in the entire school, even with a hangover.” Joe says casually, like he isn’t making Nicky’s face flush and heart skip a beat with that compliment. Nicky knows he’s good at his job, but being the best teacher in the _entire_ _school?_ Especially coming from Joe, who Nicky has seen flawlessly teach first graders and high school seniors, who is so gentle and patient with every student who walks through his door, who seems to never run out of compliments for his students projects, who is always ready to offer them help when they’re feeling discouraged or stuck on an idea. 

Joe, who gives his students a relaxing, comfortable space to express themselves and present a piece of themselves without judgement; Joe, who is always ready to offer some clay and an ear to a student who needs to vent; Joe, who is constantly showing his students how to be proud of themselves, how to respect and care for others, and how to express themselves in beautiful ways. Nicky knows he can teach his students formulas and how to turn statistical data into an understandable explanation, but Nicky thinks what Joe is teaching his students is far more valuable. Joe is the best teacher in the entire school, and Nicky doesn’t have to think about it for more than a second. 

Nicky doesn’t know how to respond to Joe without telling him everything he just thought, which is off the table, but thankfully Joe has other things to say. Joe’s eyes flick up to Nicky’s apartment building quickly, and Nicky knows he has to go inside now. They have to work tomorrow, and it’s getting late. “You okay to get to your apartment by yourself?” 

Nicky nods, quickly glancing up to a third-floor window that he knows is his. His curtains are open but his lights are off, so all that’s really visible are the edges of his dying succulents. (Alessa thought they would be good for Nicky to have in his classroom when he started teaching, but Nicky would always forget about them, so he brought them back to his apartment to try and save them. They’ve been in a constant state of ‘half dead’ for far too long, but Nicky doesn’t have the heart to get rid of them. His sister got them for him.)

Nicky doesn’t want Joe to be disappointed in his dead succulents, so Nicky just vaguely gestures to the third floor to show he doesn’t have to go far. “Yeah, I’ll be okay.” Nicky stares at Joe one final time, taking in his little smile and the crinkles that form next to his eyes when he’s happy, and pushes off from his car. 

“Um, thank you, again, for driving me. I really appreciate it.” Nicky hasn’t made much progress toward the back door to his apartment building other than pushing off his car and taking a few steps to the right, but Joe hasn’t gone very far either. Joe has only moved off Nicky’s car and taken a few steps back, but they weren’t big steps. Nicky knows it’s because Joe is waiting for Nicky to get inside his building before he leaves, but Nicky imagines it’s because Joe wants to drag this out like Nicky does. 

Joe shrugs, like it’s not a big deal to him that he drove Nicky home, and just tells him, “Of course.” Joe stands relaxed in front of Nicky, his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket and one of his legs bent at the knee where he stands, and it’s all very distracting to Nicky, who is suddenly paying attention to what Joe is wearing. The leather jacket looks taken care of but well-worn, like Joe has had it for a while but makes sure to keep it clean, and he’s wearing black jeans that have zippers and patterned patches spread around the front. Joe looks  _ good _ in this outfit, and Nicky knows Joe looks good in everything he wears because how could he not, but the leather jacket and dark jeans combination is just… 

Joe clears his throat, and Nicky’s head snaps up to see Joe raising an eyebrow at him. “You alright, Nicky?” Joe doesn’t ask like he’s calling Nicky out on his staring, there’s nothing in his voice that should make Nicky feel like Joe knows he was staring, but Nicky feels like Joe definitely noticed and is just protecting Nicky’s feelings. Nicky feels like he could not have been any more obvious, so now Joe has to  _ know _ , and Joe will let him down gently and then things will be weird at work, and Nicky will have to look for another school to work at, even though he really doesn’t want to. 

Nicky realizes he’s taking too long to answer, so he makes a desperate noise that sounds like a “yes” as he backs up toward the door to his apartment building, only stumbling a little bit. He yells a quick goodbye and another thank you to Joe, who looks a little confused about Nicky’s quick exit, as the door closes behind him, and when he hears it click shut, he exhales and lets his body fall back against the door. Nicky feels relieved at finally being able to be mortified in peace, but then quickly feels the regret set in when he realizes he forgot to do something. Nicky groans and pushes the door open and walks outside just in time to catch Joe turning around to walk to the front of his building, with his hands buried in his curls so his elbows stick out. 

“Joe!” Nicky shouts, but stays in the doorway. Nicky doesn’t think he can get close to Joe without going red. Joe spins around at the sound of Nicky’s voice, but he doesn’t take his hands out of his curls, and he looks surprised to see Nicky back outside. “Wait! You’ll text me when you get home safe?” 

Joe’s surprise quickly turns into happiness. “Yeah, I’ll text you!” Joe shouts back, and Nicky feels the tension he didn’t know he was holding in his shoulder drop. Maybe Nicky won’t have to quit. Maybe Joe didn’t notice, maybe Nicky is just tipsy and overreacting. Nicky waves goodbye to Joe to go back outside, but Joe stops him. 

“Hey, hey- Nicky!” Joe says, finally taking his hands out of his hair and walking a little closer to Nicky so he doesn’t have to shout. “Come see me tomorrow during a free period?” 

Joe looks at Nicky with his big, warm eyes, like he’s hoping Nicky will say yes, and Nicky finds he can’t say no, even if his stomach twists up at the request. There is only one reason Nicky can think of that Joe would specifically request Nicky visit his classroom tomorrow, and Nicky doesn’t see it ending well for him. Nicky knows Joe would never let Nicky down in a mean way, but that doesn’t mean he’s looking forward to it. “Yes. I’ll see you tomorrow, then.” Nicky watches as Joe nods and finally turns and walks away, and Nicky rushes to go back inside and pull out his phone. 

Nicky squints when his phone screen is too bright, and once he adjusts the brightness and can see again, he pulls up his conversation with Alessa to send her a text that he’s sure is riddled with typos. Nicky uses one hand to type the message and his other to hold onto the railing, making sure he doesn’t stumble too much when he isn’t paying attention. 

_ Call me tomorrow 11:30 am my time please. Be prepared to talk at length about a pretty coworker of mine _

Nicky finally reaches his apartment door and unlocks it quickly, throwing his coat and keys onto his couch to be dealt with tomorrow. Nicky changes out of his jeans and button down and into his sweatpants and a t-shirt and brushes his teeth slowly so he doesn’t throw up. Nicky hears his phone buzz in his bedroom, and he knows it isn’t Joe because it’s too soon for him to be home, so Nicky knows it’s Alessa. Nicky didn’t expect her to respond so quickly, since it has to be early morning in Rome and Alessa has always been one to wake up late. 

Nicky goes back to his bedroom and checks his messages, smiling when he sees all of Alessa’s messages. 

_ OMG NICOLÒ  _

_ YES FINALLY _

_ I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT FOR YEARS  _

_ God has finally answered my prayers _

_ what’s his name  _

_ do you have any pics of this man  _

_ i want to see who has captured the heart of my older brother  _

_ let’s talk about him now please i’m too excited to wait  _

Nicky responds before he can think better of it, knowing that once Alessa knows he’s still on his phone and able to talk about this she won’t wait until 11:30. 

_ His name is Joe _

_ No I’m not sending you any pictures of him _

_ We can talk about this tomorrow I’m kind of drunk right now _ __

Alessa sends him back a string of shocked emojis and exclamation points, which Nicky pretends to not understand. Nicky sees the bubble pop up to show Alessa is typing something, but it quickly disappears and a few texts replace it.

_ JOE i love that  _

_ why won’t you send me pictures :( _

_ nicolò is this like a crush where he’s a little ugly  _

_ you can tell me the truth i won’t make fun of you for long  _

Nicky feels offended that anyone would even think of calling Joe ugly, and Nicky knows it’s bait to get him to send a picture of Joe or describe him in some way, and his drunk brain thinks it’s a good idea to take the bait. 

_ He is NOT ugly Alessa _

_ He’s the most beautiful man in the whole world  _

_ His name is Joe al-Kaysani you can look him up on the school website  _

Alessa doesn’t respond to him for a few minutes, and Nicky takes great pleasure in imagining that she is stunned into silence by Joe’s picture on the website. It’s a very nice picture of him, he’s smiling big and his curls look really soft and he shaved his beard so it’s only scruff and his eyes are crinkled at the edges and-

Alessa’s next texts to him come through too quickly for him to keep up at first.

_ NICOLÒ _

_ NICO _

_ OMG JOE  _

_ first of all “most beautiful man in the whole world” BARF  _

_ second of all… WOW he is way out of your league nico _

Nicky decides to ignore her for that comment during the time it takes for him to get settled in his bed and plug in his phone for the night. Nicky knows that Joe is drop dead gorgeous, a phrase he learned from Amy when he worked at the bar, but Nicky likes to think that he is also in the same ‘league’ as Joe. 

_ Don’t be rude  _

_ I can cancel our phone call tomorrow and you will have no new information  _

Alessa sends Nicky a gif of a woman hitting another woman with a purse with the text ‘don’t be fucking rude’, and Nicky genuinely does not understand that one. Was she calling Nicky rude too for threatening to cancel their phone call? Was she saying that she’d like to hit Nicky with her purse? 

_ NO nico please don’t  _

_ i really do want to hear about joe  _

Nicky is going to respond to Alessa, but then a text from Joe comes in and that is much more important. Nicky opens the text immediately and smiles, even though it isn’t a particularly sweet message. There aren’t even any cute emojis. 

_ Made it home safe Nicky  _

Nicky doesn’t know how to respond at first. He doesn’t know if he should say something sweet, like ‘ _good, can’t wait to see you tomorrow’_ , or just say something boring, like ‘ _glad to hear_ _it_.’ Nicky feels like both options are the wrong choice, and Nicky would rather die than ask Alessa for advice on how to respond to Joe, so he just leaves it opened for a second while he responds to Alessa. 

_ I know  _

_ We can talk more tomorrow but I need to sleep now  _

Alessa responds, and Nicky feels his chest tighten with how much he misses her. They give each other a hard time and tease each other, but Nicky knows there is nothing he wouldn’t do for her, and Nicky knows Alessa feels the same way. Even if neither of them would ever admit that. Nicky is more than content with the life he built here, but when he misses Genoa so much he feels it in his heart, Nicky wonders if he made the right choice in moving 4000 miles away. But then Nicky wakes up the next morning, and after a healthy amount of sleep and some coffee, Nicky knows he doesn’t have any regrets. He just misses home, sometimes. 

_ okay nico goodnight we’ll talk tomorrow  _

_ hope you have a good hangover tomorrow <3 _

Nicky quickly responds to Alessa’s text, telling her goodnight as well, then returns his attention to Joe’s text. Nicky decides that he’s too tired and too drunk to think about what a good response should be, so Nicky types out the first thing that comes to mind and puts his phone face-down on his bedside table. Nicky hopes that Joe is already asleep and only reads his text in the morning. 

_ Good, thanks again for driving me home tonight  _

_ I can come by your class seventh period :)  _

~~~

Nicky is sitting at his desk when his phone rings at exactly 11:30 pm, and Nicky quickly pushes away the tests he was writing to pick up his phone, not even bothering to check who it is. “ _ Alessa. Glad you’re being punctual for once in your life _ .” 

“ _ Oh, Nico, lovely as always to hear your voice _ .” Alessa teases him, but Nicky can tell under her sarcasm that she means it. Nicky smiles down at his desk, wondering if he can take time off soon to go home and see his family. “ _ So, what’s the deal with Joe! I want to know literally everything.”  _

Nicky finds himself trying, and failing, to hold back a smile as he sits alone at his desk. Just the  _ thought _ of Joe makes him smile and blush like a love-sick fool. “ _ He’s so great, and thoughtful, and talented. I like him, a lot _ .” Nicky whispers, even though there is no one else in the room with him and Alessa was bound to hear it whether he whispered or not. “ _ He’s an art teacher at school. He’s really good.”  _

“ _ That’s cute, Nicolò.”  _ Alessa says, and Nicky finds himself agreeing. “ _ Now tell me about the interesting stuff. Have you guys been on a date yet? _

“ _ No, I- I don’t even know if he likes me back.”  _ Nicky hears Alessa hum through the phone, and Nicky runs his fingers through his hair with one hand and grips his phone too tightly in the other. “ _ But now I think he knows after last night. He drove me home, and…” _

Alessa’s hum about Nicky’s confession quickly turns into a gasp at his trailing sentence. “ _ Oh my god, did you sleep with him last night?”  _ Nicky chokes on nothing after hearing Alessa’s question, not expecting her to jump to that conclusion. 

“ _ No, I did not sleep with him!”  _ Nicky hisses, double checking that his door is closed, even though he knows he closed it earlier. “ _ I was just drunk, and- and I was staring at him too much and I think he noticed.”  _ Nicky sighs, thinking of every disastrous thing that happened last night and how he’s never going to drink again. “ _ Then he asked me to come see him today, and I can only imagine what he wants to talk about.”  _

Alessa scoffs at him, and Nicky can only imagine the eye roll she gives him through the phone. Nicky makes a face at her response, even though she can’t see him either. After twenty-five years, they’ve both perfected their responses when they’re annoyed with each other, and it doesn’t go away when they’re separated. “ _ God, Nicolò, that’s it?” _

Nicky, even more annoyed that she isn’t sympathizing with him, asks his question more harshly than is probably needed. “ _ What do you mean, that’s it?”  _

__ _ “Did Joe say or do anything that would make you think he’s going to turn you down when you go and see him?” _ Alessa doesn’t give Nicky a second to think about it before she continues. _ “What if he wants to talk to you so he can ask you out on a date? What if he didn’t even notice you were staring at him? You’re being so dumb right now.” _

_ “Hey-” _

Alessa talks right over him, not even giving Nicky a chance to defend himself. “ _ What’s he like around you? Have there been any moments between the two of you?” _

Nicky’s mind flashes through the past six months like an old projector, showing him every sweet moment with Joe that he’s convinced that he read too much into or was just Joe being nice to him. Nicky thinks of Joe walking him to the admin offices on his first day, Joe wanting to work with him during the first staff development meeting, Nicky and Joe catching each other’s eyes in his classroom, Joe patching up his cut after the soccer game, everything that happened at the teacher’s conference, the winter dance, how Joe acted when Nicky was late to work. “ _ There may have been a few moments- but I might be reading too much into it. _ ” Nicky rushes to get out his full sentence before Alessa can interrupt him. 

Alessa sighs, not wanting to entertain that idea any longer. “ _ Alright, give me an example _ . _ Keep it PG, please.” _

Nicky makes a noise like he’s disgusted with her, his eyes falling to his desk while he thinks of what to say to Alessa. Nicky can’t help but let his eyes linger on a card on his desk, the one Joe made him while he was late to work last month, but also the second card Joe made him. A Valentines Day card. Nicky shakes his head smiles at the card, something inside him telling him to share this story. “ _ He made me a Valentines Day card last week _ .” 

“ _ No fucking way _ .” Alessa says dryly, like she thinks Nicky is the dumbest person she’s ever talked too. “ _ How did he do it?” _

Nicky tells her, tells her how Joe had walked into his classroom after school, during his office hours, both hands behind his back, a shy but proud smile on his face. Nicky instantly dropped what he was working on and turned in his chair toward Joe, raising an eyebrow at  _ everything  _ that was going on with Joe. Joe had just presented him with the card and said, “Happy Valentine’s Day”, waiting for Nicky’s reaction. Nicky took in the front of the card,  _ happy valentine’s day _ spelt out in pretty, swooping cursive, little hearts surrounding the words, and Nicky held his breath as he read what was written on the inside of the card, felt his eyes widen as he took in every word, as he read the beautiful things Joe had written for him. Nicky had gently put the card down on his desk and hugged Joe, thanked him for the card and told him he loved it. 

Nicky blinks himself out of the memory when Alessa scoffs at him, tells him, “ _ You’re so fucking thick, Nicky. He’s in love with you! Why else would he make you a pretty Valentine’s day card?” _

Nicky rests his forehead in his palm, groaning. “ _ I can’t mess this up, Alessa. He-- I would rather be his friend for the rest of my life than ruin that because I thought he liked me too _ .” 

“ _ Alright, fine _ .” Alessa sighs, thinking something through.  _ “In my opinion, since you called for my help _ \--”

“ _ That is not what’s happening _ .”

“ _ Since you called for my help, I am telling you that Joe is in love with you. But seriously, you deserve the chance to tell him how you feel, to give yourself a shot. You can’t spend the next forty years never knowing what would have happened if you just told him.” _

“ _ You got all that from a Valentine’s day card _ ?” Nicky asks, skeptical of her logic, not letting himself believe her words too soon. 

“ _ A handmade, beautiful Valentine’s day card, in which he wrote you a lovely paragraph. When was the last time you handmade a Valentine’s day card for a friend? When was the last time you even told a friend ‘happy Valentine’s day’ and meant it more than just being polite?” _

Nicky hates admitting when Alessa is right, so he lets the silence speak for itself. Alessa also likes to hear Nicky admit that she was right, so she also lets the silence hang, because she knows Nicky will break first. “ _ Yes, okay, fine, you’re right. I guess I wouldn’t do that for a friend.” _

“ _Thank you. Now, listen,_ _Nicolò, if you don’t go and see him before the end of the day today, I will find Joe’s email on the school website and tell him that you are in love with him through an email.”_

Nicky sputters, wanting to object to so many things in that sentence he doesn’t even know where to start. “ _ I--you wouldn’t! Also, I never said anything about being in love with Joe _ .” Sure, Nicky has though it for months now, but that’s private, and not something he has shared with Alessa. 

“ _ Please _ ,” Alessa scoffs, “ _ Don’t lie to yourself and me too. That’s just bad _ .” 

Nicky sighs, figuring she’s right. “ _ I am going to see him next period _ .” Nicky’s mind is going a mile a minute, rethinking everything and hoping that Joe does return his feelings, his heart practically beating out of his chest the longer he thinks about everything. “ _ Alessa, I- I have to go. I’ll call you back later _ .” 

“ _ You alright? You don’t sound too good _ .” All the teasing is gone from Alessa’s voice, concern dripping off every word. Nicky guesses his breathing is coming in a little fast, and maybe his voice sounds weird, but he’s fine. Just very nervous, possibly freaking out. But he’s fine. 

“ _ I’m fine, I promise. I do really have to go, though _ .” Nicky says, checking the time. It’s close to seventh period now, and he has to leave his classroom soon to get to Joe’s on time. 

“ _ Okay. Good luck, Nico, you got this _ . _ Let me know how it goes.”  _

“ _ Yes, I’ll call you later, hopefully with good news.”  _ Nicky says goodbye, listening to Alessa’s final reassurances that Joe likes him too, that he has nothing to be nervous about. Nicky leaves his phone in his desk and locks up his classroom behind him and starts walking to Joe’s classroom. He’s going to tell Joe he likes him, no matter how this conversation goes. 


	8. february, part two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Glad you two finally figured it out.” Andy says, stealing Joe’s coffee mug from the counter. Joe makes a protesting sound but lets it go after Andy takes her first sip, his face falling as his coffee is gone. Nicky sighs and gets another mug from the cabinets behind them and fills it with coffee, slipping it between Joe’s empty hands. 
> 
> “What do you mean, finally?” Joe asks, after he’s registered what Andy said to them. 
> 
> “I mean, you two couldn’t have been more obviously in love for the last six months if you tried.” Nicky flushes at her words, hides his face in a sip of his tea, but he isn’t fooling Andy. She’s got a dangerous grin on her face, like this is hardly the last of the teasing Joe and Nicky will get from her, like she’s only getting started. “Like the winter dance? C’mon, I’m pretty sure even the kids knew by that point.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the getting together and the fluff and the everyone finds out is finally here!!! so sorry to make you all wait so long but i hope this chapter makes it all worth it <3  
> also this is where the mature rating comes into play, nothing explicit happens it's more like a heavy makeout against nicky's front door and ~suggestive of what happens after that

Nicky gets to Joe’s classroom early, two minutes before sixth period ends, giving Joe time to wrap up his class and time for the two of them to talk before seventh period starts and Joe’s students start shuffling in for class. Nicky hesitantly knocks on Joe’s classroom door as he pokes around the doorframe, gauging how this is going to go. The second Joe looks over and sees that it’s Nicky, a wide grin breaks out on his face, and something knocks lose in Nicky’s chest. 

“Hey, give me a second.” Joe says to him, directing his attention back to his student, helping her work through her idea for a sculpture of some kind. Nicky takes a seat at Joe’s desk, his eyes roaming over everything covering it, each unorganized aspect of Joe’s life. Nicky’s eyes land on Joe’s sketchbook, but he quickly looks away from it. It’s not open, but Joe has been so secretive of his drawings in there, and Nicky wants to respect his privacy. 

The bell eventually rings, and Joe’s students walk out of his class, and Joe is walking over to Nicky. Nicky sits up straighter, then makes a move to stand up fully, but Joe shakes his head. “Sit, it’s okay.” Nicky slowly lowers himself down to Joe’s chair again, leaning against the edge of the long table opposite his desk. For all the resolve Nicky had coming over here, it dies on his tongue when he sees Joe, when he has Joe in front of him, when the possibility of losing Joe becomes so much greater. 

For the first time in their friendship, the silence between them is awkward. Nicky back down at Joe’s desk again, running over his post it notes, and Joe rubs at the back of his neck. Technically, Joe is the one who specifically asked that he should come down and see him today, so shouldn’t Joe be the one to talk first? 

But Nicky can’t take it anymore, can’t take the tense air between the two of them, and Nicky knows they don’t have a lot of time before Joe’s students come into the classroom. “I have something to tell-” 

“I want to show you something.” Joe says at the same time, reaching for his sketchbook on his desk. Nicky shuts his mouth quickly, his eyes tracking Joe’s sketchbook as Joe places it in front of him. Joe must take Nicky’s silence as approval to speak first, and even though he looks nervous, he undoes the little tie that keeps the book closed and lets the pages fall open. Nicky has never seen Joe look so nervous, so on edge, and Nicky would turn down this offer in a second if it was too much for Joe. “Um, you can look through it. If you want. I want you to, so.” 

Nicky looks down at the pages the book fell open to and stops breathing. Nicky is looking at  _ himself _ , drawings and sketches and doodles of  _ himself _ , all done by Joe. Joe was drawing him in his sketchbook. The pages that Nicky can see now are just drawings of his head and shoulders, some big and some small. They’re not perfect, his nose is a little off and his upper lip doesn’t exactly curve like that, but-- but Joe took the time to draw him. A lot, by the looks of it. Nicky loves every single one of the drawings. 

“These were my early drawings of you. I was having trouble with your nose for a little bit.” Joe says, tightly, but with a little laugh like he’s trying to make Nicky laugh too, like he wants some kind of positive reaction from Nicky, a reaction other than stunned silence. Nicky wants nothing more than to give that to him, but he can’t make his brain cooperate right now, still lagging on the fact that Joe took the time to draw him. 

Nicky flips to a different chunk of the sketchbook, this time the drawings more detailed, showing more of his body than the earlier sketches. Joe’s rendering of his face improved by this point, his nose and upper lip more accurate, but it looked like Joe struggled on his shoulders at this point. Sometimes they were too wide, sometimes they were too small, but there are a few drawings in the corner of the right page that get him right. There are little smiley faces next to those drawings, done by Joe, and Nicky can’t help but gently run his fingers over them. 

Nicky flips to the back of the sketchbook and if he thought he stopped breathing before, Nicky can only assume his brain just fell apart in his skull at what he sees. A whole page dedicated to his face, a detailed, magnificent, beautiful, charcoal drawing of him. Joe might as well have traced a picture of him for how accurate this one is, how perfectly Joe captured every single one of his features. Nicky feels like he’s looking in a mirror. Nicky doesn’t know how Joe was able to get so much emotion, so much of how he was feeling in this moment, into the drawing. Nicky has never been seen like this, has never had someone look at him and see  _ this _ . 

Nicky traces Joe’s drawing slowly, reverently, one final time before he looks up at Joe again. Nicky searches Joe’s face, takes in Joe’s wide eyes, hesitant and shining, and Nicky is rounding the corner of the desk before he can overthink it. Every reason he’s ever told himself  _ no _ , every excuse he made for him and Joe disappear. Nicky wraps an arm around Joe’s waist, pulling him as close as possible, before he kisses him. Nicky swallows the shocked noise Joe makes, but before he can question if this was what Joe wanted to happen, Joe exhales heavily and presses impossibly closer to Nicky, kisses Nicky back. 

Nicky brings his other hand up to cover Joe’s jaw, angling his head to deepen their kiss. Joe makes an appreciative noise at the change, and Nicky feels both of Joe’s hands, which were wrapped around Nicky’s waist, slowly move up his back to rest around his shoulder blades. Whatever part of Nicky’s brain is still functioning, that is not consumed by the fact that Joe is kissing him, registers that Joe is feeling up his back, and Nicky’s whole body feels like it’s on fire. 

Nicky feels the scratch of Joe’s beard on his fingers as Joe’s jaw moves, and  _ God _ , Nicky wants to be trapped in this moment forever, lost in the feeling of Joe’s beard on his skin and Joe’s lips on his and how perfect his life is in this very second. Joe’s lips are as soft and warm Nicky imagined, and when Joe pulls away, Nicky chases Joe’s mouth with a little sigh. 

Nicky hears Joe exhale heavily, and Nicky opens his eyes to see Joe staring at him with a dopey smile, his eyes crinkled at the edges. Nicky doesn’t even remember closing his eyes, but it doesn’t matter, because all Nicky cares about is the sight before him. Joe, beautiful Joe, who just  _ kissed him.  _

“You kissed me.” Joe whispers, still smiling at Nicky. Joe’s hands are still pressed against Nicky’s upper back, and Nicky still has one arm wrapped around Joe’s waist, his other hand on Joe’s beard. Nicky moves his thumb to stroke over Joe’s cheekbone, touching at the freckles on Joe’s face that he can reach. 

“Yeah, well.” Nicky says, blushing a little but still keeping eye contact with Joe, “you kissed me, too.” Nicky pulls Joe into another kiss, just to see if it would be as good as the first one. It’s even better. “Let me take you out tonight? To dinner.”   
  
Joe groans and rests his forehead on Nicky’s temple. Joe isn’t really doing anything except resting his head there, maybe nosing around at his hairline a little bit, and it still makes Nicky break out in a smile. “I don’t think I can wait that long.” 

“We could do something right after work, if you would prefer.” Nicky says, like he also doesn’t want to start this immediately with Joe, like he wouldn’t leave work right this second if he could. Nicky moves the hand that was on Joe’s beard to Joe’s face, gently raises Joe’s head out of his temple. “I don’t want to wait either.” 

“Yes. Let’s do something right after work.” Joe says quickly, like Nicky might take back his offer at some point. Joe presses a quick kiss to Nicky’s lips, and before Nicky can chase him for another kiss, one of Joe’s students walks into his classroom. Nicky steps back from Joe, smooths his hands over his clothes unnecessarily. Joe’s student isn’t even looking at them. But Joe has to teach his class soon, and Nicky doesn’t trust himself enough to hang around Joe’s classroom right now. A smile grows on his face just thinking about what just happened, and as if Joe can read his mind, a similar smile forms on his face. Joe  _ likes  _ him, Joe wants to spend time with him as soon as possible. 

“I’ll meet you at your car after work?” Joe asks, fixing Nicky’s hair a little before Nicky has to leave. Nicky glances over at Joe’s student, sees that she’s on her phone, and quickly grabs Joe’s hand before it retreast too far and kisses his palm. Nicky can only describe Joe’s reaction as a swoon, a sweet blush spreading across his face at the gesture. 

“Yes. I’ll see you then.” Nicky winks before he walks out of Joe’s classroom, and the little groan Joe lets out is enough to have him smiling for the rest of the school day. 

~~~

It wasn’t Nicky’s primary intention, when suggesting Joe come to his apartment after work, for them to just start kissing as soon as they walked through the front door, but that’s exactly what happened. Nicky had unlocked the door, buzzing with excitement that Joe liked him back and that Joe had  _ kissed _ him earlier, and before he knew it, he had spun around and pushed Joe against his front door, and kissed away whatever question was on his lips. 

Joe kisses him back now, eagerly, and he’s making these noises that are driving Nicky crazy, little gasps and whines, and Nicky wants to hear more of them, wants Joe to let loose and be as loud as he wants. With that in mind, Nicky wraps one arm around Joe’s lower back, pulling Joe as close as possible to him, and his other hand goes to the base of Joe’s skull, where he tangles his fingers in Joe’s curls. He doesn’t tug or pull on them, doesn’t know how Joe would feel about that, but the moan Joe lets out when Nicky’s fingers first tangle in his hair is promising. Joe similarly throws his arms over Nicky’s shoulders, his hands gripping at Nicky’s back and his jacket. 

Joe suddenly pulls back a little, but doesn’t go far, just rests his forehead against Nicky’s, breathing heavy. Nicky waits, waits for whatever Joe wants or needs. “I just- hold on a second. Sorry.”

“It’s okay, we can stop.” Nicky says, already untangling himself from Joe. If this isn’t what Joe wants, then Nicky doesn’t want it either. 

“No- no that’s not what I meant.” Joe rushes to say, tightening his hands on Nicky’s back. “I just- we didn’t talk a lot, before. I wanted to tell you that I want…” Joe takes a deep breath, looks to Nicky’s ceiling for a second while he gathers his thoughts. Nicky is getting a little worried, so he gently runs his fingers through the curls he can reach. It does seem to relax Joe a little, but not as much as Nicky had hoped. “I want something serious with you, Nicky. Not just sex. I really like you.” 

“Oh.” Nicky says, not expecting that to be Joe’s worry. He had figured he had said enough to Joe at the school, had thought that their short conversation was clear enough, but apparently it wasn’t enough for Joe. Nicky quickly says whatever comes to his mind to reassure Joe that he’s in this for the long run, that he wants  _ everything _ with Joe. 

“I have wanted to kiss you for months now, since at least the end of September. When we had our first staff development meeting and you wanted me to pair up with you, I was so excited to get to know you more, and that you might want to know a little about me too. Everytime I would see you with your students or Booker’s kids, it felt like I was going to fall apart because everything about you is so cute when you talk to little kids-- or when you help your older students, it’s so beautiful to see you help them work through their ideas. I was so happy when you asked me to dance at the school dance, it was probably one of the best dances I’ve ever had. When you helped clean the blood off my face after the soccer game, and the way you kept touching my face, I just-” Nicky cuts himself off, closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, gets to the point faster.

“I never want to spend another day without you, Joe.” Nicky says, looking back to Joe. Nicky is worried he went a little overboard with his little speech, because he knows what Joe likes, but even for Joe that might have been a little too much. Nicky bites his lower lip and prepares himself for Joe’s reaction, but what he isn’t prepared for is Joe surging forward and kissing him again. Their teeth knock together at first, but it gets better  _ very  _ quickly, when Joe’s tongue swipes on Nicky’s lower lip and Nicky presses closer against Joe, moans as he feels Joe’s beard scape against his skin. 

They kiss and kiss and kiss, and it gets sloppy and their hands roam a little, but Nicky wants  _ more _ , wants everything he’s ever thought of for the last six months. Nicky takes a chance that Joe wants the same thing and lets his hand on Joe’s lower back travel down to Joe’s thigh, slowly moving to the back of Joe’s thigh and hitching Joe’s leg around Nicky’s waist. Joe pulls back to let his head  _ thunk _ against the door, breathing heavy when the new position pulls him closer to Nicky and presses Nicky’s own thigh closer between Joe’s legs. Joe is hard, Nicky can feel him against his thigh, and it makes a shiver run through his whole body. 

Nicky leans forward to kiss Joe’s neck while Joe catches his breath, alternating between dragging his mouth down Joe’s neck and pressing kisses to Joe’s neck, trying to see which one Joe likes more. Nicky can’t decide, because as soon as he presses his lips to Joe’s neck, Joe starts squirming in his arms and bucks his hips against Nicky’s. “Fuck, Nicky.” Joe puts one of his hands in Nicky’s hair when Nicky doesn’t stop, tugs a little when Nicky applies more pressure into his next kiss. “Nicky,  _ Nicky- _ ”

Nicky pulls back but doesn’t go far, let’s Joe breathe heavily, his head still resting on Nicky’s door, while Nicky waits for Joe to ask for something or tell Nicky what he wants. Joe’s hips are still occasionally squirming, like he suddenly remembers that Nicky has his thigh against him and wants to take advantage of that fact. Nicky presses his thigh harder against Joe, just to see, watching Joe’s face the entire time, and is not disappointed. 

Any progress Joe made in calming down is gone. His eyes slip shut as his mouth drops open on a long moan, his hands pulling and scrambling over Nicky’s back and shoulders. Nicky’s eyes are focused on Joe’s mouth, his pouty lower lip, swollen and more pink than usual, while Joe’s hips twist against Nicky’s thigh, wanting more. 

“What do you want?” Nicky asks, just to make sure they’re on the same page. 

“Anything, anything Nicky.” Joe kisses Nicky again, puts a hand in Nicky’s hair and pulls him forward. Nicky groans into the kiss, let’s Joe set the pace of the kiss for a while, before Nicky slows it down to something soft, gentle. Joe exhales heavily into the kiss but lets it happens, gentles his hand in Nicky’s hair until he’s basically just petting over the back of Nicky’s head. It’s nice. 

Nicky pulls back but doesn’t go anywhere, just gently  _ thunks _ his forehead against Joe’s and rests it there, delighted with the little giggle Joe lets out when he realizes what Nicky is doing. Nicky closes his eyes and just breathes for a moment, taking in the fact that this is  _ happening,  _ that everything he has ever wanted for the last six months is at his fingertips. 

“I do have a bed, you know, but if you want to stay against my front door all night…” Nicky murmurs, like he isn’t the one pressing Joe against the door, like he isn’t still holding Joe’s thigh against his hip. Something flashes across Joe’s eyes that let’s Nicky know Joe is very interested in his suggestion, and Nicky will deal with the trail of clothing leading to his bedroom later. 

~~~   


Later, much later, when they’re sweaty and messy and tangled up in Nicky’s sheets, do they talk. Joe has his head resting on Nicky’s chest, one of his arms wrapped around Nicky’s stomach and the other tucked between their bodies. Joe is tracing little patterns into Nicky’s stomach, occasionally finding a ticklish spot, and Joe pokes at those spots with a little more force than necessary just to hear Nicky laugh. It makes Joe laugh too, so Nicky doesn’t mind. Nicky has one arm wrapped around Joe’s shoulders, the other in Joe’s hair, gently rubbing at his scalp. 

“Can I ask you something?” Joe murmurs into Nicky’s chest, his finger now tracing a curvy line up Nicky’s chest. 

“Of course. You can ask me anything you want.” Nicky reassures him, rubbing his hand across Joe’s shoulders. 

“What were you going to tell me when you saw me today? I cut you off earlier.” 

“Oh. I was going to tell you I liked you.” Nicky says simply, but keeps rubbing at Joe’s shoulders because Joe seems to like it, every pass of Nicky’s hand making Joe nuzzle deeper into Nicky’s chest. 

Joe sits up suddenly, dislodging their perfect set up, and Nicky scrunches up his face in displeasure. Joe presses a fleeting kiss to Nicky’s cheek in apology, but he’s gone all too soon again, propping himself up on his elbow next to Nicky. “You were? Why?”

“ _ Why _ ?” Nicky asks with a raised eyebrow. Nicky thought it was pretty obvious why, thought the past couple hours were reason enough. 

“No, I mean, why at that moment? What made you realize you wanted to tell me then?” 

“Oh.” Nicky says it softly, a little embarrassed about how he came to his own decision. It isn’t anything special or romantic like Joe’s, Nicky has nothing to show or give to Joe. Nicky had to call his little sister, and Joe spent months drawing Nicky until he couldn’t take it anymore and created a masterpiece and had to show Nicky. “It’s not special, like how you-”

“Course it’s special.” Joe cuts him off, cupping Nicky’s cheek in his hand. Joe strokes his thumb across Nicky’s cheek bone, and Nicky closes his eyes for a moment before he opens then again, gets caught up in Joe’s eyes. “It’s special because it’s you, because it’s  _ us. _ If you want to tell me, I want to hear it.” 

Nicky nods, nuzzles into Joe’s hand before he tells him. “I called my sister, and she talked some sense into me. I told her how you made me the Valentine’s card, and I was-- I didn’t know if you liked me back, and I called her to talk about you.” Nicky scrunches up his face at how that sounds, but he keeps going. “I told her about the card and she called me stupid, said that of course you liked me because the card was so thoughtful.”

Joe blinks at him, and then blinks at him some more, and Nicky squirms in the silence. Nicky knew it didn’t sound good, knew Joe wouldn’t want to hear about that, and now Nicky messed everything up not even six hours after he had everything--

“You didn’t think I liked you back?” Joe asks him, dryly, and Nicky slowly shakes his head. “I made you a Valentine’s day card, I  _ asked you to dance _ at a school dance, I asked to sit with you or work with you on everything we did together, I wiped the blood of your face after you got kicked in the head from a soccer ball, I  _ taught your class for you _ .” Joe isn’t angry, just looking at Nicky with a shocked smile that’s growing the more he speaks, the more Nicky tries to hide in his hand still on Nicky’s face. “You really didn’t think I liked you back?”

“Obviously not, or this-” Nicky throws a hand between the two of them, “would have happened a long time ago.” Nicky takes a little breath, thinks about what he really wants to say about this. “I hoped, but I didn’t want to assume. I didn’t want to make it weird at work or have you feel pressured to say yes because we work together. Your friendship meant too much to me to risk.” 

“In case there is any confusion still…” Joe trails off, searching Nicky’s face for a minute before continuing. There isn’t any confusion on Nicky’s end, but Nicky certainly isn’t going to stop Joe from whatever he’s gearing up to do. “You mean more to me than you can dream, you are the moon when I am lost on the darkness and the warmth when I shiver in the cold. Your heart…” Nicky watches as Joe puts his own hand over where Nicky’s heart would be, gently pressing into his skin. Nicky wonders if Joe can feel how fast it’s beating. “Your heart overflows with kindness the world is not worthy of, do you know that? I wouldn’t have felt any pressure to say yes to you and it wouldn’t have made things between us weird. I spent months hoping you would ask me out.” 

Nicky thinks he might cry, so instead of saying anything, he meets Joe in the middle for a kiss, putting everything he’s feeling into the kiss and hoping Joe can feel it too. Gratitude, happiness, peace, love. Joe kisses him back with as much intensity as Nicky is giving, so Nicky thinks he gets the point. “Romantic.” Nicky says when he pulls back, letting his hand fall to Joe’s shoulder. “Did you know I liked you too?” Nicky feels a little silly using the word  _ like _ , as if they’re in high school and not adult men in their thirties, but it’s what Joe keeps saying too. 

“You were difficult for me to read at first, but then I got to know you and I noticed all your little smiles and what your eyes would do when you were happy, but I could never be sure.” Joe says, not really answering Nicky’s question but Nicky likes it all the same. Joe flops down onto Nicky’s chest again, his arm probably tired, and resumes his earlier position, continuing his little patterns over Nicky’s stomach. Nicky looks down his own chest at Joe, watches Joe trace what Nicky thinks is a flower around Nicky’s belly button, and Nicky puts his hand back in Joe’s hair. Joe groans and pushes back into Nicky’s hand when Nicky digs his thumb into a particular spot on the base of his scalp, so Nicky keeps doing it. 

“What do you want to do for dinner? I can make us something.” Nicky isn’t actually sure what he has in his kitchen, but he’s sure he can make something for the two of them. 

“I don’t want you to leave this bed. We can just order something.” Joe’s eyes are now closed, and he’s mumbling his words a little, and Nicky eyes him suspiciously. 

“Are you falling asleep?” 

“You’re a very good pillow, Nicky.” Joe says, pulling himself tighter against Nicky as if to prove his point. “And you’re good with your hands. Feels good.” Nicky knows Joe means rubbing his fingers on his scalp and through his curls, and the opportunity is _right_ _there_ , but Joe does something adorably cute with his face that prevents Nicky from saying anything. 

After Joe takes a little nap and Nicky lets Joe pick where they order dinner from, Nicky asks Joe if he wants to stay over at Nicky’s. Nicky doesn’t really expect Joe to say no, but Joe puts on a show of debating with himself if he should stay or not, and he follows Nicky into his bedroom when Nicky walks away from him, hiding a smile. Joe takes the offered t-shirt and sweatpants from Nicky while still listing the pros and cons of sharing a bed with Nicky, and Nicky kisses him to get him to stop talking. 

“Yes, I’m staying.” Joe says against Nicky’s lips, and even though Nicky wasn’t really worried, he lets out a sign of relief at the conformation. 

Once they’re in bed, Joe’s chest pressed to Nicky’s back, Joe’s arm resting across Nicky’s waist and Nicky holding Joe’s hand, Nicky whispers to Joe, “Do you know how Andy and Quynh got together?” 

Nicky feels Joe bury his face deeper into his pillow when Nicky speaks, which causes Joe to bury his head deeper where it rests near Nicky’s neck. Nicky feels warm, safe in Joe’s arms, and he never wants to spend another night without him. Joe is close to sleep, Nicky can tell, but this is important to him, and he wants to say it now. “Yeah, ‘s wild. They tell you the whole thing?”

“Not the whole thing, just that they kept missing each other and finally found each other at work.” Nicky gently plays with Joe’s fingers while he gets the courage to say what he wants to, Joe humming into the back of Nicky’s neck to encourage him to continue. “I was just thinking….that we were meant to finally find each other here, too. It’s like destiny that I went to work at the same place as you, that we ended up spending time together and...and-” Nicky so desperately wants to say  _ and falling in love _ , but Joe is basically asleep, and it’s not the right time. 

“I know.” Joe whispers, sounding more awake, like he pulled himself from sleep to have this conversation with Nicky. Nicky doesn’t know exactly what Joe means by ‘I know’, but Nicky thinks he’s got a good idea. Nicky closes his eyes for a moment, thinking about how lucky he got with Joe. Nicky turns around in Joe’s arms and looks at him, looks at his heavy eyelids and his relaxed face, and decides to tell Joe the rest tomorrow. “Sorry to keep you up. We can sleep now.” 

“Mhm, don’t apologize, you’re sweet.” Joe pulls Nicky closer to his chest and gives him a kiss on his forehead, and Nicky gives Joe a little kiss to his collarbone in return. “I’ll have something nice to say to you tomorrow about that, don’t worry.” 

“I know. I look forward to it.” 

~~~

Joe has one of Nicky’s wrists in a loose grip, and he’s gently guiding Nicky around the empty hallways of school, looking around corners and lockers to see that no one is coming. Nicky can’t keep the smile off his face, can’t help himself from laughing no matter how many times Joe tells him to stop. It’s not serious though, because Joe is also laughing and smiling too much, and if anyone were around, they would have heard them a long time ago. 

“Why are we sneaking around? We are adults who work here, not teenagers in a secret relationship.” Nicky watches as Joe slows down as they approach a corner, watches how he pokes his head too far out into the hallway to be discreet, and then how he waves Nicky forward with his free hand. Nicky follows closely behind Joe, since Joe is holding onto his wrist, and because Nicky is enjoying this game too. 

“Because it’s fun, and scandalous. Two teachers dating?” Joe says as they finally reach the teacher’s lounge, Joe going right for his coffee. Joe takes out Nicky’s tea at the same time and hands him a package, and Nicky pulls him in for a kiss. They haven’t kissed since this morning, when they left Nicky’s apartment together for work, and that’s far too long in Nicky’s opinion. 

“Especially an art teacher and a math teacher dating. What would the people say, Nicky?”

Nicky rolls his eyes and hops up on the counter, hooking his ankle around Joe’s leg to pull him closer. Joe goes easily, stands between Nicky’s legs and rests his hands on his thighs, a little smirk on his face. Joe thinks his joke is funny, and he wants Nicky to play along. 

“I can’t even imagine. They’d probably give us dirty looks, blacklist us from any staff meetings. We would have do use the leftover school supplies forever.” Joe, predictably, laughs at Nicky’s jokes, and Nicky smiles as he pours Joe’s coffee into a mug. 

Joe takes the mug and takes a long sip. “I’d like to think we would inspire some people, though. Breaking boundaries and getting rid of the divide between math and art. They could make a movie about us.” 

“Whatever you say, Joe.” Nicky says, steeping his tea. 

“No, seriously, think about it! The two of us, an unstoppable team, taking down the one true enemy: the business major.” Joe is laughing like he thinks he’s so funny, and Nicky is smiling at seeing Joe so happy, at hearing Joe call them an unstoppable team. It’s nice, the idea of them being unbeatable while they’re together. Joe pulls Nicky in for a kiss, the two of them smiling and laughing too much for it to be good, but it’s nice. 

Joe’s head snaps up when the door to the teacher’s lounge opens, and while neither of them pull away from each other, Nicky notices Joe tense when he hears the door open. Nicky and Joe seem to realize it’s Andy at the same time, and while Andy just stares at the two of them, Nicky still sitting on the counter and Joe standing between his knees, Joe relaxes significantly. 

“Good morning, Andy.” Joe says, a smile playing on his face as he straightens up. Joe shoots Nicky a little glance as Andy approaches them, eyeing them both. Nicky returns Joe’s look, tries to tell him that he’s fine with whatever is happening right now, that even if Andy hadn’t walked in on them, he would be fine to tell her. 

“Glad you two finally figured it out.” Andy says, stealing Joe’s coffee mug from the counter. Joe makes a protesting sound but lets it go after Andy takes her first sip, his face falling as his coffee is gone. Nicky sighs and gets another mug from the cabinets behind them and fills it with coffee, slipping it between Joe’s empty hands. 

“What do you mean, finally?” Joe asks, after he’s registered what Andy said to them. 

“I mean, you two couldn’t have been more obviously in love for the last six months if you tried.” Nicky flushes at her words, hides his face in a sip of his tea, but he isn’t fooling Andy. She’s got a dangerous grin on her face, like this is hardly the last of the teasing Joe and Nicky will get from her, like she’s only getting started. “Like the winter dance? C’mon, I’m pretty sure even the kids knew by that point.” 

Andy drops the coffee mug in the sink and makes no effort to wash it or rinse it out, leaving it for Joe and Nicky. Nicky’s mouth falls open at her comment of the winter dance, his face turning an even worse shade of red. Andy approaches the two of them and puts a hand on each of their arms, squeezes just once. “I am happy for you you both, though.” she says, and then she’s gone, walking through the lounge doors without another glance. 

“Oh my God.” Nicky whispers, trying to make eye contact with Joe after Andy leaves, and finds it easy enough. Joe’s eyes are wide and he’s got a disbelieving smile on his face, looking between Nicky and where Andy just left. 

“She’s going to go tell Quynh, right now, I bet.” Joe says, and Nicky suspected the same thing, but Joe sounds a little sad about that fact, like he doesn’t want Quynh to know. Nicky scrunches his eyebrows, confused, because Joe didn’t seem to mind when Andy found out, so how is Quynh knowing any different? Nicky keeps his negative thoughts at bay, though, asks before he lets himself spin out of control. 

“Do you... _ not _ want other people to know?”

“No, I do! I want to tell everyone!” Joe rushes to reassure him, and Nicky feels his chest lighten. They’re still on the same page, it’s okay. “But  _ I  _ want to tell everyone, and if Andy tells Quynh, then Quynh will tell Nile, and then Nile will tell Booker, and then…” 

Nicky nods, getting the picture, and gives Joe a little kiss to console him, pats his chest a little too, but that’s mostly for Nicky. “Don’t worry, you’ll find someone to tell your own way.” 

Joe accepts that at the same time both of their phones buzz rapidly a few times, and Joe rolls his eyes but pulls out his phone from his back pocket. He moves closer to Nicky so they can both look at Joe’s phone, and Nicky wraps an arm around Joe’s waist just because he can. 

It’s a group text, started by Quynh, and Quynh has sent the first couple of messages. The first one is a bunch of smiley faces, hearts, and peach emojis. The next text is congratulating them on finally getting together, and the last one is checking everyone’s availability to get drinks and celebrate. Joe sends back a single heart emoji and a ‘whatever day is fine for me’ in response to getting drinks, and then pockets his phone.

“They’re going to be relentless, you know.” Joe says, meaning their friends, their response to them getting together. Nicky just shrugs, not really minding the idea of their friends teasing the two of them for whatever reasons they have. As long as he has Joe, and as long as they’re together and their friends know, he’s fine. Nicky can handle it. 

They sit and drink their coffee and tea for a minute, glancing at each other over their mugs and poorly hiding their smiles. Nicky suddenly realizes there is no point to hiding how happy Joe makes him, how happy he is that they’re together, so he drops his mug and just watches Joe drink his coffee. 

Joe eventually finishes his coffee and takes Nicky’s mug to the sink, washes them both and Andy’s stolen mug. “So, about that telling other people thing…” Joe says, not looking at Nicky as he talks. “How would you feel if I told my parents?” Joe asks him, rushing to explain the rest of his thought. “It doesn’t have to be anything serious, and you don’t have to meet them now, it’s just they’re curious about you because I’ve been talking about you for months, and-” 

“Shh, it’s okay.” Nicky says, quickly hopping off the counter and standing next to Joe. Nicky gently turns Joe’s head with a finger to his jaw, making Joe look at him for this. Nicky knows it’s way too soon, probably, they haven’t been together for more than twenty hours, really, and it could all blow up in their faces tomorrow, but Nicky has a strong feeling that it won’t. Nicky knows they’re in the honeymoon period of their relationship, they haven’t really talked beyond the necessities and any pillow talk last night and this morning, but when Nicky thinks about Joe telling his parents, Nicky telling his parents and sister, meeting Joe’s parents and taking Joe to Italy, it feels  _ right _ . Nicky knows those steps are far away, is in no rush to push through any milestones with Joe and rush through their relationship, but when Nicky thinks of his future, he wants those steps with Joe. 

“If you want to do that, then it’s okay with me.” Nicky says, watching Joe’s shoulders drop with Nicky’s reassurance. “My sister has also sent me about a hundred texts between yesterday and today asking for an update, and if I tell her what happened, then she’ll tell my parents because she can’t keep a secret, so…” 

Joe scrunches up his smile to the side, his eyes crinkling at the corners at what Nicky is saying. “Okay. Tell her whenever you want.” 

Nicky nudges Joe with his hip to get him to move over so Nicky can help with the washing, and then Nicky remembers what Joe said before. “Wait, you’ve been talking to your parents about me for  _ months _ ?” Joe bites his lower lip and blushes, definitely not looking at Nicky for as long as he can manage. Nicky’s mouth falls open in surprise, prepared to wait as long as he needs to to hear this information. “You’re not going to tell me anything else?  _ I’m _ curious--”

Joe shuts him up with a kiss, bringing his soapy hands to the side of Nicky’s face to still him. Nicky lets it go for now, kisses Joe back, but resolves to keep it in the back of his mind until a better time. He does want to know what Joe has been telling his parents about him, what they think of him, if they like what they’ve heard, but there will be a better time later. Now, as Joe apologetically wipes the soap of Nicky’s face even though Nicky keeps telling him it’s fine, he can’t bring himself to think about anything else. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> primo voice: that's all folks 
> 
> but in all seriousness, i am sad to be posting this bc that means it's done but also so incredibly happy to have finished it and sharing it with everyone. i haven't written something this long ever and I've never done anything multi-chaptered and non-established relationship so while this was definitely a challenge for me, i feel very proud of it. if you got all the way to the end thank you and ily and i hope it was worth it and u liked it!!! pls leave comments or kudos if you enjoyed this <3
> 
> um also i do have other things in my google docs if we are interested, like: 5 page outline for andyquynh backstory AND all the fluffy epilogue-meet the parents-found family vibes i cut from this. so if we are interested in any of that please let me know and ill write it out and edit what i have and post it!! (also i'm thinking of doing a parks and rec au too so. i would love to hear thoughts on that as well)
> 
> if you want to reblog my post for the fic [here is the link](https://ariesnicolo.tumblr.com/post/642803833510232064/be-by-the-door-let-your-heart-in-ill-kiss-every)


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